BFN AGAIN - WHY

Discussion in 'Trying to Conceive' started by hayley, Sep 6, 2005.

  1. hayley

    hayley Well-Known Member

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    Hi

    Decided i wasn't gonna test till AF was late at least 3 days... never even got past first day and AF has shown up!!!! I'm really down this month about it. I can't ever see it happening! I have confinced myself we have a problem....

    I'm feeling really annoyed at DH - I know I shouldn't be. He has been wonderful. It's just that i want a baby so much I'm prepared to BD every day twice a day but he moans that it's become a job! We BD 5 times the week leading upto ovulation but only once during ovulation. He has said he'll BD when ever i ask this month...

    Can't stop myself getting obsessed. When we first decided to try back In Jan I had one month where I was really obsessed (our first month) I decided after that month we'd take a more relaxed approach to getting pregnant but for the past 6 months that hasn't worked either. So I got obsessed again this month thinking if we used ovulation tests and kept an eye on cervical mucus ect it would work but NO! Been off pill now for 11 months so there is no reason (unless we have a problem) that i'm not pregnant.....

    sorry need to let off steam.
     
  2. LouisecH

    LouisecH Well-Known Member

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    Hi Hayley

    Sorry about the BFN. Don't think that there's something wrong yet. Lots of people take longer than 6 months to get pregnant.

    Keep going and try as much as possible. Do it everyday or every other day not just ovulation time and then they'll be less pressure on those special days.

    Fingers crossed for you
    Louise
     
  3. rach

    rach Well-Known Member

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    sorry u got af hun big hugs to u xxxxxxx
     
  4. Anna Marie

    Anna Marie Well-Known Member

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    hayley try not to be too down about AF... how long were you on the pill?

    I was told by docs that if on the pill for long time [7 - 10 or more years] then it can take at least 12 months for body to return to pre-pill state so don't give up yet.. in fact docs will not consider there is any problem until you have been seriously ttc for 18 months after pill. It is still early days for you..

    keep trying [if it is not a chore!!! :lol: ] and try not to think about it too much.. I am sure you will get there in the end...
     
  5. *sam*

    *sam* Well-Known Member

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    Hi Hayley,
    I'm so sorry about af, some people just take longer TTC than others, My best friend had a 2 year wait for her little boy (hes now 11 mnths) she was convinced there was something wrong... to cut a long story short she got flu and didn't "try" for a month and bam! She got caught! Weird things happen!! It completely baffles me. I'm sure your turn will come, as will mine and all others TTC, hopefully.

    Saying all this I am, as you are, completely obsessed with it all, I have developed an obssession with my CM! (TMI - I know!!)
    Also this morning I was dropping off the kids for their first day back at school. ( I work for a before and after school club ) All the new reception class children were there in the playground, all cute in their new uniforms and I couldn't help silently sheading a tear thinking 'what's wrong with me?' I want a child so badly, sometimes it just get too much doesn't it.

    Sorry if this is too much or if I've depressed you, I didn't mean it! :D
    Just letting you know your not alone!!

    Lots of Love
    Sam xx
     
  6. rach

    rach Well-Known Member

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    omg i didnt realise it can take that long after the pill ive been on it since i had my lad 12 yrs :shock: ive only been off it about 7 months and been ttc for 4 months now :(
    oh well here goes another month lol
    good luck everyone ttc this month xxxxx
     
  7. Sarah W Baby Belly

    Sarah W Baby Belly Well-Known Member

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    I'm sorry to hear about AF Hayley.

    The only advice I can think of is to perhaps try charting your temperature?

    I am convinced that the only reason we got pregnant so quickly was party just damn good luck, and partly because I knew the exact day I would ovulate and we knew the right time to BD like crazy.

    Perhaps give yourself a month off from properly trying while you concentrate on taking your temperatures and learning about your body and then try next month? Who knows? The fact that you don't try for a month might give you the result you are after? Might be worth a try.

    It might be that you are ovulating way later than you think you are, and taking temps might be the only way you know.

    My body didn't get back to normal until I was eight months off the pill and we didn't dare to try before I was sure things were ticking over normally.

    Best of luck to you hun. I don't know what you are going through and I'm not even going to try to pretend that I do

    Love and hugs
     
  8. hayley

    hayley Well-Known Member

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    thanks a lot girls for replying... i feel a little better now! it's just a big let down when Af arrives....

    I was on;ly on the pill for about 3 yrs although i has those stupid implants in for 2 1/2 years and before those I was on the depo for about 18mnths.... been free from it all for 11 months now! I felt lucky because my period cycle was really regular from coming off contraception. I can rememeber being very iregular when i was a teenager. I am like clock work now and have been for the past 9 months. According to ovulation sticks I ovulate early.. day 11/12 of cycle then AF arrives day 29....

    I know i should try and relax because this pressure is doing DH and myself no good! It just seems that everyone keeps asking me when are we goona have a baby (been married a year this month) I haven't tolf peopel where trying as I don't want them asking every month. To make it worse.. another 2 girls in the office got married a few months before me.... they have both given birth already!

    thanks for letting me moan.... feel much better! here's to the new Hayley who doesn't get wound up!!!!!
     
  9. Amanda

    Amanda Well-Known Member

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    Hayley, I am so sorry to hear that AF arrived, I really had everything crossed for you this month. I agree entirely with everything that all the people on here have said, try and give it a rest this month, while maybe just monitoring your temperature. With the pressure off, who knows....

    Or do what I have done - book a holiday for next year. This has completely took my mind off ttc, I haven't even though about ovulation sticks this month, if it happens, it happens.

    I can totally relate to what you are saying about people asking you when you will be having children. We've not even been married 3 months, and I'm already sick of it! The people I work with know we are trying, but none of my friends do. I have now taken to replying (quite harshly) "Give us a bloody chance, we've not been married long and want to enjoy each others company before babies get in the way"! It seems to be working!!

    Here's hoping for a mid-late summer baby!!

    xx
     
  10. hayley

    hayley Well-Known Member

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    DH said last nite why don't we book our holiday for next year (feb). We went away end of Jan begin of feb this year so it seems like ages ago! we're thinking of going to vegas for a few days then driving to san francisco. We went to San francisco this year and DH fell in love with the place. To the point that he'd picked up the accent within 2 days..... maybe that will take my mind off!

    I think this month i'm gonna carry on with the ovulation sticks but BD every other day without worrying too much! (if possible)

    A June baby would be nice - maybe on my birthday (15th) seeing as I was born on my mums.... whats the odds on that??????? i'll find out in vegas.

    good luck to everyone else trying.....
     
  11. Dippy

    Dippy Well-Known Member

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    Hi Hayley,

    I can totally relate to what you are going through, I think that's the beauty of this forum, we can be there for each other as there's only so much moaning the OH can take!! It seems so hard to understand sometimes that some people get pregnant without even trying and others get the bfn month after month. This is my 9th month of ttc and the first month I have been using the ovulation sticks, I hope it works out for us, but am also worried that I am setting myself up for another disappointment?! Stay positive hun, there's a bubba out there for each of us!! Welcome to the quest for a June 2006 baby. :D

    P.S Get that holiday booked, you deserve it
     
  12. shez

    shez Well-Known Member

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    Hi

    Hope you girls are ok? I am in a similar position. Both my sister (only missed 2 pills) and sister in law (took 4 years) had babies this year and we were the first ones married out of all of us so of course everyone is pushing when we are going to start. Evenso we've told no one that we are ttc otherwise there would be more pressure for us.

    I came off the pill in Feb (been on it for 7 1/2 years) and its took really until last month to get out of my system - I hope anyway. I used Agnus Castus which seemed to help. My cycles ran from CD30, 80, 34, 28 so i have now come off them but still no luck up to now. I am currently 4-5 days late for this cycle but already had a BFN so not sure if it was too early to test or not (I tested day after af was due).

    All i can say you are not alone hun and there is a lot of us in the same boat. I was like you and got really obsessed with stuff but all i did last month was check my cm about the day i ov and basically bd'ed every day/other day throughout the month. It was starting to take over my life a little so i've tried to really back off from it this month. I'm sure we will all have a BFP soon.

    BAby dust to all of us.

    Love Sheree
     
  13. Lorrie

    Lorrie Well-Known Member

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    Hayley so sorry for your disappointment. It's so hard this ttc.We have so much pressure on ourselves.I've decided that when i get af again this mth.I'm gonna dye my hair, start exercising more try & stop putting my life on hold because I'm waiting. I know how you feel I really do the whole thing starts to take over & life is goin on around us people we work with getting pregnant, friends christenings- it's like someone up there is having a laugh. Be strong. Like all the girls say at least we have this forum & each other, we are not alone.Good luck for next mth.
    Lorrie xx
     
  14. Anna Marie

    Anna Marie Well-Known Member

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    It is so easy to become "obsessed".... when I was going through my recent [3rd] m/c I vowed never to try again and then when m/c was over I said I wanted to wait until I had the results of tests etc.. now I have had my first AF since m/c and I am confused as to what to do etc.

    I decided a new start was needed too.. like Lorrie said.. I cut all my hair off [as a symbolic gesture for lost beanie] and dyed it all blonde so when i look in the mirror I don't see that pregnant woman anymore - I started exercising again and am now having a glass of wine with my dinner and to be honest it helps.. small changes can be very significant to the mental attitude... now I feel able to move on a bit and start thinking about what next.

    My sister recently got married, my friends all have babies or babies on the way and yes it does hurt more when we are trying [and failing :( ] but life does go on and if we relax about ttc and enjoy ourselves a bit more along the way maybe we can get that BFP quicker!!
     
  15. Anna Marie

    Anna Marie Well-Known Member

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    It is so easy to become "obsessed".... when I was going through my recent [3rd] m/c I vowed never to try again and then when m/c was over I said I wanted to wait until I had the results of tests etc.. now I have had my first AF since m/c and I am confused as to what to do etc.

    I decided a new start was needed too.. like Lorrie said.. I cut all my hair off [as a symbolic gesture for lost beanie] and dyed it all blonde so when i look in the mirror I don't see that pregnant woman anymore - I started exercising again and am now having a glass of wine with my dinner and to be honest it helps.. small changes can be very significant to the mental attitude... now I feel able to move on a bit and start thinking about what next.

    My sister recently got married, my friends all have babies or babies on the way and yes it does hurt more when we are trying [and failing :( ] but life does go on and if we relax about ttc and enjoy ourselves a bit more along the way maybe we can get that BFP quicker!!
     
  16. hayley

    hayley Well-Known Member

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    Thanks a lot for all your replies. It's nice to know there are many of us going through the same worries! and frustration! When your AF comes you begin to feel your all alone and know one else knows how you feel but thank you all for sharing your worries and frustration with me! Driving home last nite i felt a bit silly! Here's me worrying about my AF arriving and there are so many people having to deal with M/C and other terrible situations.

    Here's to June baby....
     
  17. Lindsay

    Lindsay Well-Known Member

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    Hi Hayley

    I am so sorry about your BFN - it's obviously not our time just yet. I am getting cramps now so Af is no doubtedly on its way for me too. I am not holding out much for this month, but feel happier that I am going to see the nurse when I get back from my hols.

    Keep smiling and i hope you have booked your hol.

    Xxx
     
  18. hayley

    hayley Well-Known Member

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    I'm sorry to hear you haven't had your BFP either Lindsay. Good luck at the doctors.

    Haven't heard from you in a while. Hope your okay. Where are you off to on your hols?

    xxxxx
     
  19. Sarahe

    Sarahe Well-Known Member

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    Hi hayley

    I am sorry to hear about your BFN this month. :(

    I would agree take a break this month, this is what me and my partner did, we decided to start decorating and only really has sex when we felt like it sometimes only once a week. and low and behold I got a BFP and I wasnt expecting too. :eek: :shock:

    I even had an appointment for some holiday injections and she asked if I was pregnanct and I said definitly not (I have since checked injections ok to have during pregancy)

    I wont say it wasnt on my mind but with decorating on my mind more than baby making I think it certainly helped us relax.

    I wish you all the best for the next month and pray they you get the a BPF next month heres sending you lots of BABY DUST xxxxx


    Sarah xx
     
  20. Tara & Liam

    Tara & Liam Well-Known Member

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    Hi Hayley

    Sorry about getting AF.

    Can i make a suggestion. I have fallen for all 3 of my kids around the time when i get ovalation pain. We BD when we were in the mood up to the day when i got the pains and then everyday for a few days. I know that i am lucky and seem to fall really easy. But give it a try.

    xx

    Sending baby dust to you and my own luck honey
     

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