Back to basics---the good old days!!

[WILMAFLINSTONE]

Answering the perfect saturday night thread made me think of this....slightly off topic but here goes.....

Ok so Im 38 but have very old fashioned views on some things, old fashioned family values and would love to spend some time in something like an Armish community where everyone helps eachother in the old fashioned community way!!!
I raise my daughter in a way that is maybe not the 'norm' as the world sees it now but its my way and so far its worked fine....
I dont conform to what society says I should do, should live, should think etc etc!


I come for a large family (1 of 10 kids but their are all step brothers and sister and I am only child from my mam and dad) but sadly after my parents passed away our family dispanded!
I am still in touch with them but not at all close to most of them just one or two! So sad......

I remember as a child having the most fantastic family times with all my siblings.

Holidays in scotland just having so much fun playing in the fields, on the farms, doing stuff to keep ourselves amused etc...non of this modern day electronic stuff!! Paaaahhhh

We treated birthdays as a celebration of the life of one of our family members....again not about what the birthday bear brought us.....but that we were blessed with another person to love and to love us!

I had the most amazing christmas and new years....(nothing to do with material stuff or drunken parties) just being with those I love and extended family and celebrating christmas for what its all about and not about what we all 'got'!
Of course we were still told that if we were good Santa would bring us something nice...and he always did....but that wasnt all it was about!!!

I remember sitting in our living room on the first sunday of Decemeber after my parents put the christmas trees and decorations up listening to christmas carols with my brothers and sisters and watching the multi coloured christmas lights flickering on the tree gettin all excited coz I knew our family time was going to be even better with all our extended family there too!!!
I still think about those times now and still get that same cosy, happy excited feeling I had all those years ago...I really loved my childhood and would relive it in a heartbeat if I could!!


I loved being at school on the build up to christmas for the Nativity play and being in the chiors especially around christmas time.....our school christmas party when we all learned how to dance the gay gordon.....and we HAD to dance with a boy lol!


And so Ive tried to keep all these fantastic memories and events alive in my life as I have grown up and Ive carried on lots of christmas/birthday and family traditions that I knew as a child with my daughter.

We always got a colouring book and pens on christmas eve, new Pjs, slippers and house coat....Kate at 17 still gets all these traditions.....
Magic dust to sprinkle outside on xmas eve so Santa could see where he was going.....as old as she is I still do that....
We go to carol services on the run up to christmas (Kate used to sing in the choir at Durham Catherdral) and I love the services on the run up to Christmas and still get a lovely gooey feeling when we go to them.....
We always have home made mulled wine and home made mince pies night for family and friends the week before christmas...I love this!
Theres so many traditions I still follow I get carried away listing them all but as you can prob tell I LOVE christmas and all its stands for lol not the comercial side of it all....

So after all my long winded stuff and my amazing childhood/adult memories...I suppose my point is what happened??

Am I the one whos living in a dream world and not keeping up with the times?

Has christmas just become something that is all about how much we can spend on our kids and not how much time we can spend with those who matter?

Do family nights not happen in anyone elses houses anymore?

Are birthdays just another reason to get presents and not to celebrate that were lucky enough to have breathed our way into another day?

Am I barking mad???

I have to say I LOVE my life....I LOVE that I have very old fashioned values, morals and beliefs!

I love that we as a family live our lives in such a way that no matter how bad things get we KNOW we ALWAYS have each other to turn to!

So whats your view on life as we know it today?

Has modern life taken over and taken away the ability to talk, communicate and live as a community where we did all help eachother....or do I need a boot up the ars* and brought up to date....lol!!

Whats your views ...... xxx

 

[titch]

I insist that we always eat at the table. We rented a place for 6 months where there wasnt room for a table and had to eat on the sofa and I HATED it. We dont have a tv in the kitchen either. It does make such a difference to our relationship, its time where we talk and actually face eachother instead of on the sofa, it was like we were sitting at a bus stop!

When we were house hunting there are lots of houses being built without a place for a table. I mentioned it to an estate agent who shrugged and said people just dont want that these days. Its (one of) my soapbox issues. If a family cant sit together for half an hour to eat and talk with eachother theres no hope!

 

[WILMAFLINSTONE]

Thanks tiny!! Totally agree...I know its not always possible with shifts etc but luckily DH is home and we always have dinner at the table every eveing and nobody leaves the table till were all finished....we clear away together too so as a family we spend at least a couple of hours together every evening over dinner....and always on a sunday too! Only time we might not eat together is a friday night depending on what everyone has planned....

Our last house was a big victorian with massive dining room and lots more living space....but before my dad passed away we were bringing him home from hospice to live with us so then we bought this one 4 years ago! Its a new build with a fairly modestd dining room but can only get an 8 seater in it at a push so not a massive amount of dining room to entertain hence its up for sale and were back on the look out for something with more living space downstairs and a dining room big enough for my 12 seater ( I love having friends and family over for meals)....its something very important to us and even when we go to inlaws we always sit around the dining table...its the hub of the family get togethers....where we sort any problems out, make decisions and generally socialise...etc etc...

I also noticed when house hunting that some people just arnt bothered about family time...no family rooms etc....we dont really use our living room a lot, but we also have a family room and music room with no TV or electronic consoles etc...again I think Im prob very old fashioned in this respect but I dont want to loose those family values that have become so important to me...... I think Im painting a picture of myself here as a complete nerd lol ha ha....lol xxxx

 

[titch]

ahh no I dont think youre a nerd!!! but maybe thats cos I am too. My other real pet hate is kids having tvs and games consoles in their bedrooms. It just encourages them to spend too much time in some kind of hypnotic state in front of a screen and away from any type of social interaction! I dont think theres anything wrongwith having 1 tv, and if we cant agree what to watch, we learn very good negotiation skills!!! Either that or buy sky+ subscription!

 

[WILMAFLINSTONE]

ha love it nerds are us!! lol Yeah I know what you mean tho....I limit DD TV and Lap Top time coz Im sure if she was allowed to she prob would spend more time on there that I want her too....but yes I find it strange how kids cant seem to amuse themselves these days as theres so many electronic games to keep them locked in their rooms yet when i was a kid we played games outside, and did all sorts of stuff that didnt need power!! Times have changed so much and Im not convinced their for the best either!!
DH laughs when I say I want to experience life in a similar way to the Amish community and I honestly would love to....I just hate that we are all so detached from eachother and theres no community spirit anymore....Im particularly religious but that doesnt stop me want the whole communal thing in my life...sharing raising eachothers children and looking out for eachother....as a whole non of that seems to happen anymore....God Im on my soap box now lol xxx

 

[titch]

I love larkrise to candleford on BBC cos its so lovely how much of a community they are

I grew up on RAF bases, allowed to play out all day with the knowledge that there are armed guards on the perimeters and everyone knew who we were, if we misbehaved or something happened, my parents could be called. We would head off by 9am with our bikes, build dens, use the base pool, ride around, I dunno what else we got up to but aparently we used to reappear at around midday for food and disappear again for hours!

I know that I wont be able to allow our son that much freedom these days but I think its psychologically and physically healthy for kids to spend time outdoors socialising and being creative.

 

[WILMAFLINSTONE]

Ah totally agree....you must have had so much fun around the bases! Ah were were the same but like you say I dont feel happy dd being out alone. Shes 16 now and still gets taken to and from where ever she goes....Dont get me wrong she is allowed out with her friends during the day but we dont let her get busses to or from anywhere in the dark!

But yes we also used to head off playing and turn up at food time then off again!

Two balls, roller skates, skipping ropes, hide and seek....ahhhh now they really were the good old days!!!

Kids would think we were marshians if we suggested they play hide and seek these days lol!

Ha happy days!!

xx

 

[MrsR]

I agree! We live in a tiny flat (in the process of finding somewhere else) and our kitchen is tiny BUT we have a fold away table with stools and we always eat on that except when we have carpet picnics which DD loves as it's a treat, we still all sit together though! x DD didn't watch tv until she was about 4 and then for only an hour. We do lots of nature stuff together-walks, exploring etc and I'm actually proud that she doesn't know how to play on a playstation/wii or similar! She'd rather go swimming than watch the tv.
Christmas has always been about gathering together for a meal we've all prepared together, playing board games and having a great time. DD always gets a satsuma in her stocking. We decorate the house with home made decorations and we sing carols.
I refuse to buy ready meals and DD loves to help out in the kitchen making lunches, dinners, puddings etc and we make bread together which she loves. I love old fashioned values and often feel like I was born in the wrong era! Lol x

 

[titch]

ready meals dont even save you money either. I dont see the point!

 

[WILMAFLINSTONE]

Ah helen that sounds perfect to me....were also in the process of trying to sell our house to go live somewhere more rural I HATE living in a town.....and cant wait to move!

I would love to be self sufficient one day too....

Loving the satsuma and home made decs too great fun making them with DD...well done you I love all that sort of stuff me being all arty and crafty lol

I def know what you mean about feeling your born in the wrong era ME TOO!!! I just really wish more people didnt like that we live in a throw away society and I know everyone wants an easier life etc but that doesnt mean doing away with old traditions and family morals and values does it....xxx

 

[bethanyann]

Oh my goodness, I love this thread!! My brother tells me all the time that I'm an old aged woman trapped in a 20 year olds body because I just adore proper old family values. I get that people have busy lives etc, but I insist that all our meals are homemade and organic where possible, we have to sit round the table, and when our baby is born I definatly want the focus to be playing in the garden, going for walks, playing with his/her cousin, baking in the kitchen and playing games. I don't want my child's whole life to consist of tv, playstations and junk food. Don't get me wrong, everything is great in proportion, but my memories of my childhood are the best ever, and they consist of the most silly things like putting on "bike shows" with my brother and sister, where we would just ride our bikes up and down the garden wiggling the handlebars, lol, and cooking with mum in the kitchen, playing on the climbing frame and making up detective games. I can't imagine I'd think so fondly of my childhood if all I remembered was watching tv!!

 

[WILMAFLINSTONE]

Hey Bethanyann welcome to the thread lol!! Yes its such a shame that some of our family values arent passed down these days and I totally agree that memories of watching tv and playing on consoles arnt going to instil the best memories are they!!

I was told by a 60year old recently that she was surprised that someone of my age had so many old fashioned family values and old fashioned morals....I took that as a compliment tho lol!

DD is 17 now and we still have baking days, crafting days, family nights etc and we love it.....she also loves all things modern too dont get me wrong but I have raised her in such a way that she also has a great appreciation for a lot of old fashioned values, morals and traditions too and I hope she will go on to pass these onto her family if and when she has one....xxx