baby. in the bed

[leesey]

This is a really interesting topic, and obviously I'm way off the breastfeeding days, but I'm trying to educate myself as much as possible!

I always remember warnings years ago about letting your baby fall asleep on your chest in case you fall asleep yourself, but it never even occurred to me about breastfeeding. I think there's conflicting information on it obviously, and I hate it when the US advice is different to the UK advice, so much confusion.

Obviously a lot of it comes down to personal preference and what works for you and your baby. No one is consciously going to put their baby in danger and will obviously have thought through what is best for them, and looked into it, and clearly the OP is thinking it through (hence the question in the first place). It's just a shame there's not more concise guidance available to everyone in all areas.

 

[Maria1977]

I have breastfed my son since birth and after making an informed decision we decided to cosleep from when he was a few weeks old. We also thought cosleeping could be dangerous, but it's not. We're still currently cosleeping, and will cosleep with our next also. It does become dangeous when you involve alcohol or drugs or sleeping on sofas etc as has been mentioned.

As a breastfeeding mum I have found cosleeping a god send. As long as you are sensible it is safe, but it is a very personal choice. It worked for us 100%.

 

[leesey]

Can someone explain to me what is involved in cosleeping? Is it just having the baby on the bed with you, or is there a mattress involved or anything?

I hadn't really considered the problems of separation in the first few weeks as I kind of thought being nearby would be enough! I've got a lot to learn in the next 7 months or so!!

We've already got a crib for the bedroom, as we won't be moving to a bigger place til LO is at least a few months old, but didn't even consider the fact that this might not be suitable.

I'm now having concerns about us being in a one-bedroom place when DH might have to sleep elsewhere for a few weeks

 

[Maria1977]

We colseep with Oscar in our bed, he sleeps in the middle of us. OH is forced onto the sofa qutie a bit coz he snores ridicously loud and wakes me and the baby and I just put a few pillows next to oz then. He won't roll off though coz he stays close to me all the time, but it's just for my peace of mind.

You can get these bed nest things, but they are reeeeally expensive. Or you can get tinier than normal cots with drop down sides to put alongside the bed also. Unfortunately we don't have the funds or room for either! Although the bed nest things are only suitable for a few months, because they are quite tiny.

It is also said that keeping baby close to you as much as possible in those first few weeks/months is essential. Oscar lived on our chests basically for the first few weeks, for them to have your warmth and skin contact and to hear your heartbeat is really good for them.

I loved having that closeness with my baby, and will do wtih the next also

 

[leesey]

Thanks Maria, I'll have a look into the different options. 7 months seems like a long time but it may just fly by!! The crib I bought was to be right by the bed, but I didn't realise this might not be close enough!!

Lots of research to do methinks! xx

 

[Maria1977]

Breastfeeding while laying down is really comfortable and when I got into the swing of things LO would just latch on while I slept and I wouldn't even wake lol I onbly know coz OH saw it a few times lol

It's defo not for everyone, but it worked for us. Oz will be 1 in 2 weeks and we're still cosleeping. Although will be trying him in his own cot from over christmas, just because I have another LO on the way and I need all the room lol

 

[Cantstop]

When I was pregnant I said there was no way I'd feel comfortable cosleeping, but we have been pretty much since she was a couple of weeks old as she was so noisy and unsettled in her basket, and it just was so much easier and I could feel it was safe - it's hard to explain but when you're laid in a position and your baby is snuggled next to you, you just don't move and are aware of them all the time; that's how it was for me anyway. She's 7 months now and though I started putting her in her cot at 12 weeks when she first fell asleep, she stays in with us after her first wake of the night and also just stays all night with us when she has unsettled nights or is windy or unwell. She either sleeps on the outside of me as I worry hubby could elbow her or something in his sleep as he is a very heavy sleeper, or in hubby's spot when he's on night shifts. Seriously, time is flying by so fast I'm loving having this time with her because before I know it she'll be too big (I'm not planning on doing it past 1 certainly).

 

[littlemiss83]

I'm definately not getting into another argument about co-sleeping. I've co-slept myself so I know how easy it is to do & the benefits ect - but as with anything thats discussed on here, we give each other advice & the advice I give is to check out the guidelines & make an informed choice. I'm not going to say any more about my personal opinion, but here's the info here (for the person that said they couldn't find any....)

Prevention of SIDS - From NHS website

The safest place for your baby to sleep is in a crib or cot in a room with you for the first six months. You should never bring your baby into bed with you.

http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Sudden-infant-death-syndrome/Pages/Prevention.aspx

Cant find the WHO guidelines anymore, I posted them on another thread though. Pretty much the same as the NHS.

Oh and Fi - what do you do during the day when your BF'ing your baby?? Do you go & lie in bed & feed baby every time, or do you sit on your couch sometimes?? I sit with a coffee, lights on & tv on feeding baby during the night, I suppose you could say theres a chance of something happening to baby no matter where you feed it, you could sit on a single chair, fall asleep & baby could fall...ect/ect & it can happen any time of day, after all - us new mummies tend to be tired quite alot.

Please dont shoot the messenger about the co-sleeping stuff. There was a thread about it a wee while ago & I really dont want to go down that route again, its a diverse subject & I'm not saying that anyone is a bad mum or anything like that - im only pointing out what the NHS say on it.

 

[Cantstop]

I totally agree, it's up to everyone to do whatever works best for them, I totally appreciate it's not for everyone

 

[Franna75]

The hospital were adamant about not sleeping with baby and gave us a leaflet when discharged. For the first couple of weeks my baby's father would make me put him in the crib and I used to sneak out into the living room and lie with him on my chest, a few times he caught me and wasn't best pleased. But when he left us at c. two weeks i've had my LO in bed with me ever since. It was so much easier breastfeeding as up until recently he was waking four times a night. He starts off in crib around 9pm and he comes in with me from when he first wakes up, which could be anytime between 12 and 7 depending on his hunger. I'm more scared of him rolling on me, he's huge hehe.
Im not sure how i'd feel if I had an OH, i'd probably kick him on to the sofa (if I were still with the Dad)!

 

[Miss]

Accidents can happen no matter where you feed! In fact when I had my son 12 years ago there was a case of a mother breastfeeding her baby in bed and smoothing it! Scared me so much I used to wake myself up fully everytime Mitchell woke up to feed and would go down stairs to feed - if necessary I would even feed standing up!

I don't want to scare anyone by saying that - In fact 5 hours after having Georgie my Midwife advised me to lie on my side to let her feed so I could doze (in hospital) as she has been feeding all night and I had had no sleep! When we got home I would sleep when she slept - she would be on my bare chest for skin to skin to help when breastfeeding.

At 2 weeks old they are still getting used to not being curled up all nice and warm inside you - so don't worry that you will be giving them bad habits. Just do what feels right for you, what you are comfortable with and make them feel safe and warm.. Enjoy them - they don't stay little for long xx

Sent from my BlackBerry 8900 using Tapatalk

 

[Maria1977]

Littlemiss without wanting to start another argument on the forum but feel I need to say that SIDS has nothing to do with smothering a baby in your sleep. SIDS occurs naturally and is unpreventable.

 

[littlemiss83]

Littlemiss without wanting to start another argument on the forum but feel I need to say that SIDS has nothing to do with smothering a baby in your sleep. SIDS occurs naturally and is unpreventable.

As I said in my previous post, it isnt my opinion, I only copied what was on the NHS website. It has a section on SIDS & how to help prevent it - this was one of the ways, along with the usual stuff..not smoking ect ect.

 

[Belfast girl]

Personally I know I could not co-sleep as I am a bit of a husband beater in my sleep and my OH prefers the star fish/diagonal position - and we both gravitate towards anything warm and snuggly!!

Poor baby wouldn't stand a chance!

But I digress and to give you a laugh my mum was telling me the other day that when we went to India and my little bro was very wee they were horrified that he was put to sleep "IN A BOX?!!"

ps it was a carrycot. sorry bit of a meaningless post.

 

[Miss]

See I have been known to punch elbow and kick OH "in my sleep" - but in my defense he makes his awful noise while chewing his tongue lol

I love the baby in a box story!! Just goes to show how different cultures do different things. I can just imagine the look of puzzlement on their faces lol

 

[Lisa_85]

Thank you for all the replies.

Im going to just go with the flow and see what happens. Issac wouldnt settle last night whenever i put him down so rather than fight it i just let him sleep with me. Im going to just keep doing this and see how he does. He has settled really well tonight but if he wakes later and cant settle again i will co-sleep.

i am so glad i have this forum for advice.

xx

 

[Miss]

To be honest Lisa I spent the first 4-6 weeks at least doing what you did last night and not fighting or getting stressed about it.

I had no problem getting my LO to go down in her crib when she was a bit bigger hun so do not worry about habbits etc just enjoy him and the snuggles.

Glad you got some sleep hun x

 

[Alexandra84]

To be honest Lisa I spent the first 4-6 weeks at least doing what you did last night and not fighting or getting stressed about it.

I had no problem getting my LO to go down in her crib when she was a bit bigger hun so do not worry about habbits etc just enjoy him and the snuggles.

Glad you got some sleep hun x

Like I said earlier, same here. Once they're a bit bigger they're esier to settle in a cot so just go with the flow and don't get stressed out about anything. It will all settle down eventually