B!tch of the year award

[CarlyD]

Goes to me. Feeling sooo resentful... DH hasn't helped with baby for quite a while. No feeds or changes for going on 5 days now. He sometimes carries him up the stairs for me at bedtime. Today he went to the gym after work for an hour or so, came in, had dinner and said he felt sick so went straight to bed and is now sleeping peacefully while LO is crying and refusing to settle for me.

I know he's sick, but I just can't bring myself to feel sorry for him. Like I said all I feel is resentment! How horrible is that?

While I'm on maternity leave and he's working I'm trying to continually tell myself that it's only fair I take on the full care of LO, housework, looking after the dogs etc so all he has to worry about is getting his rest after work. I'm not feeling it's fair though Just wonder if it'll get easier or harder. No one benefits from me being a moody so and so about it!

Rant over. I will get over it lol. Although I have been fantasising about just picking up and leaving with my baby. What a drama queen Hopefully I won't get to that breaking point! X

 

[Simoneh00]

I feel like that quite often. And to his credit, my OH rarely goes anywhere other than work.
It is hard to think that all the domestic chores should be yours and honestly, I don't totally agree. Daddy should be sticking in a load of washing, doing dishes, bathing LO, etc to give you a bit of time. Have you spoken to him about it? He might think it's not an issue as you're coping so well xx

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[TORino]

Oh my, id be pissed at that too.

You shouldn't feel like because he is working you have to look after the baby on your own. It's easier to go to work IMO! You need a break too.

My oh has generally been really good since the baby came but lately he has done a few things to annoy me like going out on the weekend and leaving me with the baby when I need a break.

 

[VikkiR]

I agree ^^^^^^ I keep threatening to go back to work full time in the next few weeks and lo isn't 6 weeks old yet xx

 

[BabyBrain]

It's not just that he's not helping but he's missing out on valuable bonding time too. When my OH comes home from work now Bertie gets plonked on his lap and that's it, my work is done for the day. I still do the bottles and the changing but all the cuddling, cooing and making a prat of oneself is left to him. I actually managed to read a whole chapter of my book last night and it was fab.

Tell him he's missing out. Showing concern for their bonding time won't allow him to say you are nagging. Men are good at turning stuff round on us. Hope you figure it out soon hun and get a bit of you time xxxxxxxxxx

 

[Princess81]

My o/h was the same, i think the novelty wears off fairly quickly for men, until the baby's more interesting and then they partake again. Seems to be a real trend on here x

 

[lewisca]

^^wss !!! My oh freely admits he is in for a big shock when I go back to work in a few weeks they just don't get how hard it is being at home with kids 247 !!! Feel free to rant on here hun we all have and I'm sure we will again !! Xx

 

[poppypd]

I think that men should help out, if only for their child to see and to recognise their face let alone to give us ladies a break. My oh likes doing bath time as he gets some one on one time but I think you have to ask them. I just say 'your turn' and hand her over. He loves to see her face light up when she sees him.

 

[jojo_2012]

Had to have a serious talk with OH about this. When he won't even look after LO when I have a shower, cook his dinner, or deal with a flooded bathroom that's coming through the ceiling then something's seriously wrong. I've demanded 30mins a day baby free time lets see how he copes cos right now he hates even 5 minutes of even mildly grizzly baby.

 

[Nurse 26]

i'm the same as BB, as soon as OH gets in from work i hand the baby over to him while i get some time for myself, its only fair xx

 

[BevG]

lol i was that tired yesterday i had baby til oh finished his tea then gave her to him and promptly fell asleep! i woke up after an hour to find he had fed her, put her sleeping bag on and got her off to sleep in her moses.
shame i left her with him and went to bed tho cos she woke at 3, he fed her and took til 5 to bring her up as she fussed n resisted sleep. by that time my boobs were really full and she wasnt hungr so i was outta luck! tod him he has to bring her up to me when she wakes if we do that again cos usually i take her to bed with me n bf her when she wakes then top up bottle if needed.

 

[CarlyD]

So I'm not the only one! I was going to say that, I'm way more bothered that he's not bonding with our baby.. He freely admits he finds the baby 'boring', which I can understand but does that mean he will have as little to do with him as possible until LO is walking and talking??

I might do what's been mentioned and allocate 30 mins / an hour when he gets home for their bonding time! He'd better not dare grumble about it - a cuddle isn't that hard!! X

 

[Cazzlou]

Totally know where u r coming from. My dh has given Theo one feed. He's not changed any nappies yet and he's 13.5 week old. He goes to work at half 5 comes home when tea is ready at 6 has tea then goes back to work until atleast 9pm by which time both kids are asleep in bed. If by chance he has a few hours home he falls asleep or sits on his laptop.

He throws the I'm the one working etc card at me. I think it would be easier as a single parent many times x

 

[Cazzlou]

My dh says they aren't interesting until they start doing things!

 

[CarlyD]

Oh god I get the "oh sorry do YOU have to be at work in the morning??" card if I dare mention anything!! Seriously pees me off!! Agree about the single parenting thing, maybe then I'd get acknowledged as doing all the work on my own instead of everyone assuming he's a top guy and I'm getting lots of help - when in reality I'm just looking after both of them. He contributes money and that's where it seems to end *sigh* x

 

[Susanne]

I think it would be easier as a single parent many times x

I totally, utterly and whole-heartedly agree!!!

 

[Cazzlou]

I've set a time limit now if by October no change he's out. We move house in 4 weeks so will see if he changes as he's working on that alot at mo.