ARGH need to vent!!

[fairypants]

So peed off right now! It's probably just aswell my hubby's gone to work today...
I woke up at 4 this morning, bursting for a wee, so managed to climb out of bed without waking hubby, but when I came back from the bathroom he'd spread himself over the entire bed. So, very kindly of me, instead of trying to move him & waking him up knowing he'd got to go to work soon, I grabbed my dressing gown and went off to try getting some more sleep on the sofa. I actually managed to get another couple of hours in before my alarm went off to make sure he was up and felt quite good. Got him up, made his lunch and reminded him that he needed to pop in to my parents on the way to work to feed the cat as they're away. He then went and flopped on the bed and fell back to sleep, which I hadn't realised as I'd been pottering about sorting washing and stuff, so when I woke him up and told him the time, he leapt up and got in the shower...fine, no problem, but when he got out the shower, already late and I said to him "don't forget the cat on your way!" as I handed him his lunch...well the response I got was far from pleasant!! He was so fricking rude about it and stood there shouting at me!! I could have slapped him if I hadn't burst into tears. He then went storming off, slamming doors and throwing a proper childlike strop, just to come back 10 minutes later to say his boss had called and said he didn't need to be in for another hour!! He came back like it hadn't even happened and wondered why I was so upset and wouldn't speak to him. I think I might have just told him what I think of his latest selfish attitude if I'd said anything!! Especially as after his long day of work yesterday when he ran in the door, grabbed the dinner I'd made for him and buggered off down the pub for a couple of hours, leaving me sat on my own again!!
I'd planned a whole load of little bits to do to keep myself busy while he was out all day, but now I've lost all motivation to do anything cos it was all for his benefit and now I'm so pissed off and feeling so hurt, I don't want to do anything! Grr! As if I don't feel crappy and useless enough lately, I really didn't need him making what had started out as a good day, into feeling so rubbish again!!
Sorry for the rant, just really stuck right now cos everyone's away this weekend, he's at work and I'm sat here on my own again!! And I've not even got any chocolate or ice cream to make me feel better cos he finished all that last night!!

 

[Anna456]

Ah hon it sounds a crappy start to the day!!! I totally sympathise I have similar arguments with my boyfriend about stuff and then the next minute he acts like nothing's happened!!! I don't think they realise how much stuff is going on for us internally when they act that way and talk to us in that manner. I work from home and am usually fine as I pop out at lunch in my car and run a few errands etc but for the last couple of weekes he's been borrowing my car for work so I've been stuck in the house all day everyday seeing no one! When he comes gone I just want some company and he doesn't get it! Being alone at this time is horrible as its boring and there is loads to worry about/think about if you've got the time too! I know before I was pregnant this really wouldn't of bothered me, I'd of gone out to the pub it met friends etc. and I get pissed off that I feel like he doesn't apprieciate what I do do for him! Making dinner - sorting out all the house, baby stuff!
I don't blame you for being hurt! Maybe when he gets home tonight say to him that it's difficult for you at the moment ant you feel lonely etc and him talking to you in that way ruins your day as all your emotions are heightened etc. sometimes I feel like I have to spell it out to my boyfriend and then he understands and is sympathetic and sorry, but if I don't tell him he doesn't know why I'm annoyed if you see what I mean!
Hope you feel better soon hon, and this feeling will pass xxxx

 

[Missbatesy]

Ahh that sucks! My oh can be such a moody idiot sometimes too! Hope your ok xxx

 

[fairypants]

It's frustrating cos we'd got over all this. We do discuss everything and he knows what he's done when he does something wrong, he's really good with it all usually. Think he just woke up grumpy and not wanting to go to work on a day he doesn't usually work, but took it out on me! Even this morning he knows why I was upset with him, he just won't accept the fact that he went about it all wrong this morning!
He's a self employed music tutor and does most of his work at home, but then goes out n about teaching lessons from late lunch time til mid evening most days, that's when he's not working at the school or the music centre. So because I'm unable to drive at the moment because of stupid pain and problematic muscle spasms, I'm stuck home the entire time, unless I manage to get him to take me to the supermarket! Can't even face the walk to the local supermarket just to pick up bread, because it's a big up hill walk to get home again! And nowhere near anything else to wonder to. Can't afford taxis or buses at the moment, so can't even take myself out to meet friends! It's really starting to bother me that I am so isolated from the world all the time and he's quite happy to leave me here to go to the pub whenever he feels like it...he seems to have cut off the fact that maybe once in a while it'd be nice to do something being as I'm stuck here all the time!!
Doesn't help that a lot of my friends don't drive, so they won't even attempt to get to me knowing I can't get to them. The only time I hear from anyone lately is to ask if baby's arrived and when can they come see her. Urgh! Sorry just feeling really crap now!

 

[Bek234]

Awwww men are so Mardy! Hope ur feelin better now. Xx


Tapatalking. X

 

[fairypants]

Feeling worse to be honest Bek!! Got a horrible taste in my mouth and everything tastes funny! Hubby's come home from work and decided he wants pizza for dinner cos he doesn't want to go shopping, so is cooking himself pizza...not even considered that I need to eat too and there's nothing else to make a meal out of!! So I had a sandwich...plain boring ham sandwich, having not eaten much else all day and all he said was "don't you want a packet of crisps with that?" and when I told him I would but he'd just esten the last packet, he just shrugged and walked out the room!! This really is a new low of selfishness from him!! And he wonders why I'm sitting fed up complaining I'm hungry and feeling even more drained than usual. I would make him take me shopping but it turns out he hasn't banked his cheques all week so there's no money in the account, no cash anywhere and he doesn't get paid til the end of the week from his school work!!
It's gona be a LONG hungry week!! Really am ready to burst into tears and leave right now, but as there's nobody else around all weekend I've not even got anywhere else to go!! I duno what to do with myself. I've got all restless and panicy again and can't get comfortable anywhere cos I hurt so much!!

 

[Bek234]

Omg! Bless u! Has he not thought about if baby comes u need to be prepared u won't want to take her shopping in the first few days!
U should tell him to get prepped!! Xx


Tapatalking. X

 

[fairypants]

Yeah he realises that, just is so concerned with himself at the moment and worrying about not coping with baby, that he isn't thinking about anything else!! Just no way of getting money sorted before wednesday at the earliest now. Just been told we won't get any benefits now aftrr applying cos we were strugling after having to move, which means can't get maternity grant thing either!! Ee're pretty much screwed and there's nothing we can do about any of it!!

 

[fairypants]

And to make me feel even more panicy and restless...I've just lost a huge lump of plug!! Oh dear god please don't let her come til we're sorted!! Argh!! Can't take much more of this now. It's just 1 thing after another today!!

 

[Bek234]

Omg! Ur dream could actually come true and we could be having babies at the same time!! Lol
Don't panic, no one will see u struggle! I know the feeling too as we just found the same thing out on Thursday.
My oh works 60hrs a week for min wage! I'm only getting smp too as had to start mat leave early from being signed off sick. Its very stressful, i keep telling myself that people do this all the time and on leas money than us, but it dont make it any leas frustrating that oh will be working 60 hrs a week whilst some people, will come out with the same amount of money and be at home with their children.

We need to reevaluate our priorities when she's here and we know how much we have etc.

Xx


Tapatalking. X

 

[fairypants]

Trouble is I haven't worked in nearly 2 years because of an injury that was drawn out when the hospital.wouldn't do the surgery to fix it and thrn when they did I had to wait ages!! Then spent 4 months recovering by which time was already pregnant. Couldn't even get a christmas job. Then with housing issues we used all the money we got as wedding gifts to move and pay bills. Now have nothing! Hubby always works tok many hours or not enough to claim anything. I'm not entitled to anything, not even maternity allowance. We still aren't gona know if we can get housing benefit for another month or so either! And being self.employed with his private students being so random he never has a consistant income or hours and what he gets from school work only just pays the rent with £1 to spare!! Startung to worry that we're not gona manage this!!