any advice on custody battle

[mrs h]

Hi my life isnt getting any better at the minute, my ex husband has said he is applying for full custody of our son and has said he will be very nasty to get what he wants.
I said he wouldnt get full custody as im not a bad mum and have done nothing wrong (no drink/drugs problem etc and i never go out at night as i stay in to care for my son
So he said he will be very nasty if he wants and will use the fact that i had pnd after my sons birth and i am still on medication.
Is the fact i am still on medication going to go against me?
This is the only thing he can bring up against me but i dont want the courts thinking im some nutter and taking my son away from me.

If anyone has any advice, if their partner has applied for full custody what happens etc and is it true courts do favour mums unless there is a big problem with mum.
If anyone wants to pm me instead of posting here then please do as a personal subject thanks

 

[Sammystar]

What does your lawyer say? You have got legal help right? If not you need to get it right away.

As far as I know your PND will not go against you, but you should speak to your doctor about this as well. It obviously depends of the level of depression.

You have all the cards here, the courts always favour the mother. Do not be intimdated by this b*stard. Stand your ground and whatever you do, do NOT respond to his threats in any way. Try to do all talking on this issue through the lawyers from now on.

Did you speak to his mum yet? What's her take on this? You really need to keep his family onside if he's starting to act in this way......

 

[Squiglet]

tbh I doubt they would offer either of you full custody. The courts tend to try and keep things even unless there is some issue over child safety and well PND wouldn't be classified as this.

They also look at your status too... whos working for example... If your ex is working full time during the week and you are not... it would be silly to place your son in his care during the week, because there is no one to care for him... so its likely that your son will go to him when he is not working.

This is what I was told when my ex threatened me with getting custody... it panned out to nothing in the end though... tbh its likely that your ex will muck up somewhere along the line... but make sure you see your solicitor over this... and I would advise you to have no more contact with him, unless you have a witness present or its through your lawyer... if he is being threatening, then you need to cut contact with him.

As you have a child together, you should make sure that any visitation is done when you are not around, for example a friend/family member takes your son to your in laws house and your ex goes there to see his son... it will reflect well on you in court as you have decided not to antagonise him or the situation while still maintaining some form of contact between him and your son.

Remember its about who can be the most mature and responsible person about all this. Not the one who can throw the most dirt around.

 

[Penstraze]

I haven't been through this so don't have alot of advice other them to echo what others have said about your PND not being a reason for him to have sole custody. It sounds like he is trying to upset you in the best way he can through your son these are most likely empty threats or ones at least he hasn't looked into properly! As everyone else has said ensure you have a solicitor to fight your side if it become necessary, if he wont be grown up about this then keep all communication through your solicitor, hopefully as soon as he consults a solicitor they will tell him he is being unrealistic in what he hopes to achieve i.e full custody and he will start to see some sense!!

 

[NickyB]

I'm sorry, I've got no advice and this doesn't help, but your ex sounds like the biggest sh*t going after the things I've read from you.

I'm sure things will go in your favour, stay strong!

 

[mrs h]

I didnt want to see a solicitor just yet incase he found out and then i know that would push him to be stubborn and start a full on custody battle.
I dont know if he was making empty threats or not but i dont want to go through all this.
I havent said much to his mum as she would have a go at him and then he would start trying to turn her against me.
She has been great though and still sees my son and has offerred me money if i get short
If i get legal aid would my ex have to pay my fees i have heard that somewhere

 

[Sammystar]

I didnt want to see a solicitor just yet incase he found out and then i know that would push him to be stubborn and start a full on custody battle.
I dont know if he was making empty threats or not but i dont want to go through all this.
I havent said much to his mum as she would have a go at him and then he would start trying to turn her against me.
She has been great though and still sees my son and has offerred me money if i get short
If i get legal aid would my ex have to pay my fees i have heard that somewhere

I don't know the ins and outs of legal aid in the UK but you really MUST get things onto an official footing as soon as possible hun. Don't worry about provoking him! He walked out on you and he's the one making all the threats. Get yourself down to the CAB tomorrow and get yourself protected. It will be reassuring for you to find out exactly what your rights are and to know that you're not fighting this alone. We can only advise you. You need to take things to the next level now and get yourself registered for legal representation.

Please do it. You can bet he'll be getting his side of things sorted so you have to do that too.

Refuse to speak to him about custody unless it's through a solicitor.

 

[Sophie1102]

Hi hun, i'm going through all this now and have been for the last two years!!!! but there has been a lot to go over and sort out because of his past behaviour (long story) but i do know that.....

if you get legal aid he will not have to cover your fees, legal aid is dependent on your income/benefits

he will not get full custody, unless you are a terrible mother nd social services would have been involved before that so don't worry. the pnd will not go against you

courts like to give the mums/dads quality time with the child, which normally means granting access on a weekend for the dad.

personally i didn't go to a solicitor until my ex went to his (pm me if you want and i will explain why) - i am representing myself now since my OH moved in as we now earn too much (while he still gets it though!!!)

I have never -without good reason- stopped my ex from seeing his girls and this has always gone in my favour when at court and they took my worries very seriously ie domestic violence when i was picking up/dropping off the girls to him

Does he pay you any maintenance??

 

[roxanne080]

as far as im concerned pnd is not going to effect you as it is very common and no i dont think the courts are stupid enough to see pnd as you being a nutter. if you take good care of your son as im sure you do then you have no problem as the courts give priority to the mother.

 

[Princess_Puddles]

If all he has against you is PND he will not get very far!! What an ass, hasn't he put you through enough already