And then there were 2 :)

[deedee84]

Eeek...2 days until holiday time...so giddy! Been panicking though...worrying if i have got everything i need for Elexis, worrying about where she is going to sleep at the caravan and HOW she will sleep seen as though its a new place! Worrying how i will feed her if there isnt a high chair as we cant take a travel cot or high chair as theres not enough room in the car! Were struggling to fit the pushchair in tbh i'm sure all will be ok once we are there! Just gotta make sure i dont forget the formula nappies and wipes although im sure there will be a supermarket on site if i do forget anything!

Elexis didnt sleep too badly last night, only got up to her a handful of times and i seemed to sleep lovely and feel refreshed today

Having my hair cut this morning too its well over due! I havent had it cut since novemeber 2011 and then i need to go and get a hair dye as my lovely grey hairs are making an appearance lol!!

xx

 

[Daisy2011]

Happy new hair, hope its awesome.
good luck squeezing everything in the car, you arent going to the wilderness and Im sure that your resourscefulness will mean you et by easy.
Good luck
x Daisy

 

[deedee84]

hahahaha thanks Daisy probably worrying over nothing as per! i'll just have to use a single mattress and pop it on the floor for Elexis to sleep on...im sure i have a travel high chair seat somewhere too! Must get digging, not long to go now

Elexis had yet another good sleep! Put her to bed at 7:10pm, she woke up at 8:15pm but then didnt wake again until 4:30am, she then woke at 4:50am and was rocking back and forth on all fours and waving at the monitor (sure she knows im watching her on it haha) had to go into her a couple of times but she nodded back off without help at around 5:30am and didnt wake again until 8:30am...bonzer night if you ask me, i have no idea whats clicked lately but shes sleeping much better than she was hurray!!!

Had all my lovely long hair chopped off too, had it cut into an inverted bob so the front bits are shoulder length, gonna start having it lightened too, its black atm, she told me off for dying it black and told me to do dark brown for the time being until i get booked in for it lightening! She said it will be a gradual thing and eventually i want to be light brown with blond highlights! It could take some time

All my lovely pets re going to OH's mums tonight i will miss the bones off em! Im sure she will take good care of them for me for the week! Be strange sleeping without my giant ginger moggy though!

This morning im heading into town, gonna get Pooch a new bed as his has been chewed and theres foam missing from the middle so a nice new bed for his new home for the week hehe!! Then i'll probably finish the packing and make sure i have everything we need...i have a list anyway...its gonna be a mad rush friday morning getting the last bits before we head off friday dinner time!

xx

 

[Daisy2011]

How exciting not long now.
An inverted bob , so its longer at the back than the front? ,Ive been thinking that I'd like to get a funkier hair cut (mines long and brown and getting a bit grey in places!) But waiting untl overdraft is paid off!!
Hope all goes well on your hols, the weather doesnt seem to bad for the weekend so fingers crossed.

Im going to try to go to Saltaire this weekend to see what its all about.
Good luck on your travels.
x Daisy

 

[deedee84]

Hi Daisy...inverted bob is long at the front and goes shorter at the back, looks lovely and only cost 12.50

Were back from holiday too, it was lovely, well needed!! we have spent way too much though, and got home to the electric on 0 and all our freezer food defrosted so not only are we skint, we now have no freezer food grrr!!!

We got lovely weather for the majority of the holiday! While there Elexis started walking unaided on her own, was cleaning the caravan Sunday and looked around and she was walking about, shes not doing it all the time but at least shes getting the confidence up to do it! She is also now off formula...and drinking cows milk, luckily shes loving it, were only 2weeks early in giving her cows milk, i cant see what harm it would do!
Sleeping arrangements were a little iggledy piggledy on holiday, most of the time Elexis ended up in bed with me and daddy but she slept relatively well. We took her swimming for the first time too and she loved it, took her paddling in the sea and she was laughing, Elise had a small fortune spent on her in the amusements, those bloody teddy grabber machines lol, none of them work, sure they are all rigged, we ended up going on a guaranteed prize one twice, £2 a go and then on the last day actually found a 20p one that actually won you teddies...so came home with 6 teddies from that one it was worth every penny to see those two girls having fun though, i am glad to be home and back in my own bed even if the house is upside down atm with all the unpacking etc and OH has only lost the front door key too, he unlocked it yesterday and has misplaced it so had to go to bed last night with it unlocked...not good, just glad we have a dog that barks like a loon every time someone walks through the front door otherwise id of been very paranoid last night, in fact i was still paranoid!

Now were back off holiday i have started with the anxiety again worrying about dying and stupid things, maybe i need to see a doctor, it cant be healthy! It didnt happen on holiday, first night back and i have a panic attack because i suddenly think while i'm trying to get to sleep that "one day i am going to die" uh sounds so lame! i cant help it though!

Anyway, i better get off and sort this bloody house out...its a right mess and just had a guy come round to take photos and shit for the new boiler...embarrassed to chuff right now

xxx

 

[Daisy2011]

Oh so glad that you guys had a good time on your hols, fabulous that Elexi is giving walking a go!!
great weather for going in the sea and just relaxing! And less than 2 weeks until her birthday!

Thats crap news about your freezer defrosting how annoying.

When is your cervix appointment? Will be thinking of you.
xDaisy

 

[deedee84]

I know...i have no idea what to get her either...or more to the point what to do, i'm not going to throw some massive expensive party...she wont remember it anyway, i would like to have a birthday picnic at the park, but dont want to arrange that in case the weather is rubbish!! grr

I have my loop excision done next Thursday! Been talking to my friend about it as shes had it done and shes put me at ease about it, ive to drop Elise at hers on that morning for school and then shes also going to collect her from school and take her to hers for tea so that i can rest up and OH only has Elexis to deal with for the time being...it will mean OH putting elexis to bed though haha, that should be fun!!! I just want it out the way now though!!

Elexis also slept pretty well last night night, i think it was around 11 when i saw to her and then she didnt wake while 4:30am and then i think if i hadnt gone straight into her she probably would of gone straight back off as she looked asleep when i got into her room but still gave her a wet of juice then she went until 6:45am when she wanted to get up good job i had a semi early one

Todays plans...god knows...just got the last load of holiday washing on the go...may put some things onto e-bay seen as though its free insertion this weekend, try and earn a few quid seen as though were brassick lol!

Hope everyone else enjoys the sunshine today

xx

 

[Corrinne37]

Hi DeeDee,
How are you these days?
Cant believe Lexi is nearly 1!!!
xxx

 

[deedee84]

Hey hun i'm not doing too badly thanks! Gotta go for a loop excision Thursday to get rid of some abnormal cells Elexis has been mincing my swede big style for the last few days, i have no idea whats wrong with her, shes happy one minute then wailing the next, its not even like she proper upset, more of an attention cry but its been like it all day everyday and starting to grate on me now, just dont know what to do, not like you can tell a baby off for been maungy lol! And yeah i know 1 week and 5 days and shes 1...its bloody flown!

Your pregnancy has flown too hun, not long to go now are you excited? Do you know what youre having or is it a surprise?

xx

 

[deedee84]

Eugh...Elexis has been a proper maungy pants now for a good few days, i'm expecting the same today, shes only happy if shes been carried around or if i'm holding her hand walking her around, i walked around in circles with her yesterday allowing her to lead the way for a good half hour good that shes wanting to learn but i cant get anything done as as soon as i leave the room or pop her down she screams! Shes been waking at 4:30am every morning crying and not going back to sleep even though she looks knackered, must of gone into her a good 5 times in 20 minutes this morning giving her a drink each time until she pushed the beaker away and closed her eyes...5 minutes later shed be crying again, in the end i left her whinging and she went back to sleep and is currently still snoozing now...shes become really hard work lately!

Went to my brothers for a BBQ tea yesterday, my dad and his weirdo alchi wife came too, she was already half cut when they got there, she kept pissing me off because Elexis doesnt like anyone other that me and Jamie picking her up, she doesnt mind my brother so much as she sees him often and hes just bloody daft with her and mums the same although it takes her a while still to go to mum, and here was this wino that she hardly sees picking her up from her walker...well, that was it, Elexis screamed the place down and and reached out for me! Managed to settle her back down, 20 minutes later "will she cry if i pick her up" so i told her yeah she would "oh she wont she will be fine" so i said "no seriously she will cry" "no she wont" picked her up anyway and ended up with Elexis screaming again if she had just left her alone she would of come around, but instead she just scared the poor kid and she wouldnt go anywhere near her for the rest of the afternoon! She doesnt see dad much but because he left her alone for a good hour or 2 and then spoke to her she was laughing at him! Stupid cow, cant do with her!!

Anyway apart from that i had a semi decent skint weekend haha! Elise has a tooth which is ready to fall out, looks horrible, im hoping it says put until i get paid wednesday otherwise i'll have to tell her the tooth fairy is skint and she will call by wednesday night the joy of kiddies!!

Right best get missus sorted for school

xxx

 

[Corrinne37]

Hi DeeDee,
How are you these days?
Cant believe Lexi is nearly 1!!!
xxx

Hey honey.
ooh hope the loop thingy goes ok. Sorry to hear lexi is playing you up.
Maybe a cranial sacral session will do her good, ive heard it clams down unsettled babies.
No fun for you, very frustrating I imagine.
Yes I know not too long for me now!!!
Im having a girl so Im really pleased always wanted a baby girl xxxx

 

[Corrinne37]

Hi DeeDee,
How are you these days?
Cant believe Lexi is nearly 1!!!
xxx

Hey honey.
ooh hope the loop thingy goes ok. Sorry to hear lexi is playing you up.
Maybe a cranial sacral session will do her good, ive heard it clams down unsettled babies.
No fun for you, very frustrating I imagine.
Yes I know not too long for me now!!!
Im having a girl so Im really pleased always wanted a baby girl xxxx

OOOPs !! quoted my message instead of your reply! Baby brain!!

 

[deedee84]

Haha, aww that'll be lovely having one of each plus you can buy so many lovely things for little girlies, how exciting!

Never heard of the cranial thingy...may have to look it up, someone mentioned that it may be something to do with the wonder weeks...hope its something like that or a growth spurt of some kind because then i know there will be an end to it, last night i was up every 1-2 hours with her crying and either sitting up or standing up in her cot, i gave in at 1:30am and tried her with calpol but it didnt do much, i was still getting up often with her hoping that was the worst of it, shes been gradually getting worse since Sunday...its been lovely lately as shes always been a crappy sleeper but from around 10 months shes been having longer stints of sleep ranging between 3 hours and 6 hours so for her to go backwards its horrible!

She is finally walking all over now...all before her 1st birthday...so proud

2 days until loop excision my lovely mum is taking me now which im glad of!

xx

 

[Corrinne37]

My son was like that - a complete nightmare at night!!! Feel for you honey xxx

 

[Daisy2011]

Hi Lovely sounds like she is running you ragged at the moment. Will be thinking of your tommorow.
This should just make everything better and get the worry off your back. It will b over quick and the nerves are usually worse than the proceedure.
Good luck and heres to the weekend with a birthday and youll be done with the loop thing.
big hugs you can do it!
x Daisy

 

[deedee84]

thank you Daisy means a lot hun

Last night was pretty much the same as the night before if not just a tad better, she pulled a blinder this morning though, she woke up at 7:15am so i went up to get her, her baby grow was a bit wet so i thought "i'll change her nappy up here before i take her down seen as though its leaked" stripped her baby grow off and whipped the nappy off only to be greeted with major poo explosion in there well all hell broke loose, i yelled at OH to help he bounced out of bed wondering what the hell was happening, meanwhile Elexis was trying her hardest to wriggle her legs free from my hands and crawl off, so i'm fighting to keep her out of the poo...finally OH arrived with baby wipes and i managed to get her sorted without getting poo everywhere deary me, great start to a wednesday morning

Felt really down yesterday, actually woke feeling ok, but OH was having a down day, he didnt get up until dinner, then i popped out, when i got home from picking elise up from school he made tea, washed up then went back to bed, he had hardly spoke to me all day, then i got a message asking if i wanted to go on a hen do as someone had dropped out and i really really wanted to but darent ask OH because of the mood he was in and i just thought "what is my life coming to when i have to ask him if i can do stuff, like hes my dad or something" Anyway i made my excuses with the hen do. Tried to talk to OH and mentioned maybe he should try to deal with his depression by going out for a walk instead of staying in bed, well that just made things worse, we ended up arguing and then i felt bad for making him feel worse! And then through it all i thought on, that he hasnt once asked me about tomorrow, i brought this up and he said "what do you want me to say, theres no point reassuring you because it wont work...i'm no good at these things" like mum said just a hug and telling me it will be ok would mean so so much but he cant even do that because hes so wrapped up in his own shit to care! Things look brighter today, i had a good old cry last night in bed while i chatted to mum via facebook, shes gonna take me out Monday for a meal as her treat :') bless her!

Anyway better sort elise out for school, times ticking by

xxx

 

[Daisy2011]

Oh lovely, its very difficult when you are carer to him as well as the kids and are getting no emotional support. Not sure I would have tolerated it, you need a partner and someone to confort and support you. Hes incapable of that
Good luck today Im sure you are nervous but this time tommorow it will all be over and you can move on.
A poo explosion , how exciting!!
you can do it, good luck
x Daisy

 

[deedee84]

Well i did it. I woke this morning feeling so sick with nerves. Got there, had a talk with the nurse first then after the talk she said "shall we get it over and done with hey" i felt like saying, no lets not lol!
Anyway, i went into the room had to strip my bottom half down, get on the bottomless bed and get my legs in the stirrups. She inserted the speculum before coating my cervix in dye to show up the affected area, after this she injected my cervix 3 times, i nearly shot through the roof with the first injection and just grimaced at the rest, they were really unpleasant, she told me that the anesthetic had adrenaline in it so it may make my heart race and give me the shakes, to which it did, i felt like i had run a marathon, was so out of breath, it felt weird. They placed a pad on my upper leg as with her using an electrical current she needed to safeguard me...earth me if you will lol! Then she began the procedure where she burnt the affected area off and cortorised (sp?) it which took all of a minute if that, the whole procedure took 10 minutes from start to finish. They will now send the sample off and i will get the results back in 3-4 weeks!
I'm just a little worried though as back in September my smear test came back as borderline results, 6 months later i had the follow up which showed severe changes, which seems epic for such a short amount of time
I'm in a tiny bit of discomfort at the moment, not enough paid to warrant painkillers though, theres no blood there as of yet either, OH has been a godsend with Elexis, hes making me something scrummy for tea later too...pulled Pork, mmm yum yum

Elexis slept better last night, i wasnt up with her as much as the night before so hopefully shes coming out the other end of this awful phase...fingers crossed!

Right im going to watch my ghost adventures now and relax some more while OH and Elexis are out collecting Elise from school and getting our yummy tea

xxx

 

[deedee84]

Finally worked out why Elexis has been mardy and not sleeping (btw were back to sleeping again now, phew!!) i was at my brothers Friday and Elexis had her head back on me singing away and i noticed that she has cut another bottom tooth, so it was teething after all...so i guess you could say the teething necklace doesnt really work as such, well not for us anyway, but she can keep it on, it looks cool anyway so were now on our 6th tooth!

Dont think oh is going to be best please with me when he gets up. His sister lives in London but came up here yesterday and asked me to go over for drinks, i told her we were skint and she said she would pay so i told oh i was going (well asked him should i say) and he said no, we had a massive argument because i just cant do anything, all i got was that he doesnt go anywhere but i told him that was his choice and i wasnt stopping him, anyway after a while he said i could go, the plan was to go at 5 and home by around 9, my friend didnt pick me up while 6:15pm and i had such a good time with the girls, talking about old times and drinking wine that i didnt want to go home at 9, kinda lost track of time and got home at 1:30am oops he was in bed when i got home and hes in bed now!! Apparently he struggled to get Elexis to sleep...well if he took her to bed more often and made it part of her routine she would go down fine for him, he only has himself to blame for that one!!
I'm feeling rather fragile to say the least today...deffo too much wine!!

Today i'm going to try and get up to see dad if my lovely brother is making his way up there! i'll probably do some washing and relax for the rest of the day

xx

 

[deedee84]

Think i might have to stay off the wine for a little while...felt blumming awful all day yesterday. My brother had already gone to see dad Saturday, so i was working myself up to do the 45min trek up there when dad called to see if i wanted picking up, bless him! We had a lovely few hours there, Elexis didnt scream at them and showed off her walking skills :') so proud!
OH had monk on with me when he got up, makes me laugh, if he goes out he comes strolling in whenever he likes, i was chatting to his mum on fb anyway, she said shes going to have a word with him! I can feel him becoming controlling, he speaks to me like i'm a child too, like last night for instance, i gave Elexis a crisp and she crushed it up in her hand all over the arm of the sofa, OH said to me "you better get that cleaned up now before it goes all down the side" it was his tone of voice and the way he looked at me. I told him im nearly 30 not his effing 10 year old daughter

Elexis slept relatively ok last night, shes still waking around 4-5 and taking longer to settle, she was stirring and rolling around as if she was trying to get comfy at 5:15am she was crying a little but not like she was overly upset or anything so i just left her to see what would happen and within minutes she was back asleep.

Right, anyhow, gonna quit with the moaning about oh and get my little big princess ready for school

xxx