Am I right to be mad?

[Tillytots]

Lol - another day of feeling

Today OH bank statement came, I take care of all the bills, statements and paper work etc...so I took it out the envelope to file it. Just as I was putting it in the box I notice that its a big statement for an account he doesnt even use? So I open it up to have a look and there are all these transactions on it, same person....different amounts. After adding it up its over £200 in 7 weeks. In 3 days he spent £80 odd quid? I was like wtf?! So I call him and after alot of erm, ah's and silence he says he spent it on an online computer game....buying gold for his character This online game by the way is the reason he leaves my house almost everytime he is over....he says he feels ill so he goes home and plays it or he cant come over as he is meeting up with his 'friends' at 7.30pm or whatever....

Now its his money yes, but for the past 4 months Ive been struggling, going without food etc....mostly to pay for baby things and I made sure OH had a nice crimbo as he had such a crappy year. Each month Ive been worrying myself stupid, and OH saying he has no money.....now I bloody know why! I absolutely hit the roof. He says I have no right to be mad, the baby has more than him already and its not going to kill him if he goes without a few things. Women in Africa have babies in a field with SWEET F.A so really I should stop moaning....

Am I right to be mad...? Hohnestly I could maim him today....sod throwing coke over him.

 

[BeckyJ]

id go mad as well if im honest, yeh he should be able to have stuff himself but buying gold for a computer game charachter???? id kill him lol

 

[kalia]

I just asked OH about this and he said it sounds like "classic World of Warcraft addiction". He says that it's likely your OH would have difficulty seeing a different opinion if he's addicted and he's heard stories of people nipping off the play it while their partner is having a baby!

I would be going absolutely spare if I were you!!!!! What he said about babies in Africa is completely out of order IMHO. And I think you should ensure he gives you half the money for all the baby things - and if he doesn't, keep a tally and keep reminding him of how much he owes you. You shouldn't be going without food to get baby things Baby needs you to have food.

Yes it is his money, so he doesn't have to 'justify' spending it. But if he's leaving you short for baby and saying he doesn't have the money when he's spending £30 a week on a computer game that then is a joint issue, in the same way it would be if he were spending it in the pub or whatever.

I really feel for you hun!
(P.S. Baby will love you most )

 

[Manda&Thomas]

id be fuming hun its one thing to buy computer games but to buy things for a computer game character thats just dumb. what does he think he will get back from that sort all
anyways yep kill him
manda xx

 

[Sophie1102]

Oh sweetie

I really think it's men being selfish, plus I also think that they can not visualise actually having a real living baby and don't understand how much a baby needs!!!

 

[Tillytots]

I just asked OH about this and he said it sounds like "classic World of Warcraft addiction". He says that it's likely your OH would have difficulty seeing a different opinion if he's addicted and he's heard stories of people nipping off the play it while their partner is having a baby!

I would be going absolutely spare if I were you!!!!! What he said about babies in Africa is completely out of order IMHO. And I think you should ensure he gives you half the money for all the baby things - and if he doesn't, keep a tally and keep reminding him of how much he owes you. You shouldn't be going without food to get baby things Baby needs you to have food.

Yes it is his money, so he doesn't have to 'justify' spending it. But if he's leaving you short for baby and saying he doesn't have the money when he's spending £30 a week on a computer game that then is a joint issue, in the same way it would be if he were spending it in the pub or whatever.

I really feel for you hun!
(P.S. Baby will love you most )

thats what it is, Classic WOW addiction. He refuses to speak to me when he plays it. Thats why he doesnt live me with anymore we have fallen out over it soooooo many times. I dont know what to do. HJe has said he wont spend the money on it now, not because he thinks its stupid though but because I said so. In other words he is going to hold it against me. AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

I cannot believe he spent £80 in 3 days on a sodding character in a game, I actually feel

 

[BeckyJ]

i feel so sorry for you hunni

 

[Bee]

want me to come over and thump him one?

I could do with releasing some anger

 

[Sophie1102]

I'll help you bee, i've got so much frustration built up!!!, thats why i'm off to the gym tonight and hopefully work it off!!!

 

[debecca]

Let's all go round to Tilly's and beat up her OH.

Hang on, why don't we all join World of Warcraft and beat him up on there?!

 

[Suzie and Faith]

ARG how annoying for you!
My brother (younger) is addicted to the same game, he has spent money he shouldn't have on it before. Once it was about £50 and i couldn't believe someone could waste it on a game, and it's not even as if he was buying one from a shop. Arg.

I'd have a serious chat to him, point out that you have more important things to spend money on and that i's unfair that you should go without.

I know it's not that easy but stick to your guns, what he's doing isn't fair at all!!

and

 

[Bee]

good idea debecca

 

[Tillytots]

Okaly doakly all over to mine to unleash the fury on my OH!!
Its an official invitation, bring a friend

He kinda apologised. Ive told him though there is no way Im surviving on chocolate and crap again though because I cant afford dinners just so he can buy 'gold' what a nugget....honestly

I feel a bit better now, thanks for all your hugs. I dont know what Id do with out you girls I really dont

 

[Llys]

Let's all go round to Tilly's and beat up her OH.

Hang on, why don't we all join World of Warcraft and beat him up on there?!

I have an account... I'm there What server


(ok ok.. so now I sound sad too!!)

 

[Llys]

He kinda apologised. Ive told him though there is no way Im surviving on chocolate and crap again though because I cant afford dinners just so he can buy 'gold' what a nugget....honestly

Just tell him no REAL gamer has to buy gold!

(trust me, being an online gamer myself, he won't like that remark one little bit!)

 

[Sandi4Paul]

OMG men.

Sandi

 

[Tillytots]

He kinda apologised. Ive told him though there is no way Im surviving on chocolate and crap again though because I cant afford dinners just so he can buy 'gold' what a nugget....honestly

Just tell him no REAL gamer has to buy gold!

(trust me, being an online gamer myself, he won't like that remark one little bit!)

brilliant!

he has said though its MY fault that he has to buy it as I like to see him once a week and I take up precious gaming hours I make him miss Kara or however you spell it and then he missed getting his Midnight Leggings whatever the hell they are.

Honestly, my man was normal before he played this game. He had a life, we had sex! Now he has no life and Ive got cobwebs!

 

[Sherlock]

I think its worrying he has an addiction to this. Especially if its caused problems for you in the past, enough so that he moved out.

Its not only a case of spending the money and you going short, but the fact he is deceiving you about it, not telling you upfront and letting you find out this way. Which I am sure he did not intend.

I think he really needs to get some help with his addiction as it may well spiral out of control if he becomes stressed or feels cornered about it.

When baby arrives it will unleash a whole new world on both of you and while he can use it to escape to sometimes, he can't go running out on you every night to go play it. It would be totally unfair leaving you with Baby so he can go online. He has to learn to interact with people again. It sounds like WoW is his social life atm and there has to be a reason for it. But at the end of the day, its not solving any of his problems or issues, only really compounding them

Yes we all have things we like to spend money on, but its a matter of keeping control of it and not letting it spiral. Online additction to games is a real thing and can cause debt and heartache if people fall so far into it they can't see any arguement or case to back off.

And as others have said, both of you are responsible for this baby, so he can't go shirking his side of things and letting you go short.

Have some of these

 

[Bloom]

Im sorry your oh is being a pain Tilly

 

[Tillytots]

thanks hun. I have talked to him about it before. He even said tonight he isnt looking forward to the baby coming one little bit as it means no more computer time. Its the reason he wont move back in as if he is here it means he has to have a relationship with me and I truly am a WoW widow.

He shouted at me so much before when he lived here if I even so much as say Hi to him. It was stupid. Its taken me a while to get my head around it as its hard to grasp the concept that someone could be so addicted to a game. I ended up throwing him out as he'd get so angry and sometimes violent and Id be thinking how can I raise a child in this?! So I asked him to leave, thinking it would shake him up and he'd realise what a fool he'd been and come back...but no Its the reason he stoped helping me around the house, whereas before he used to love doing the hoovering etc...

He says he plays it to escape....his Dad died last yr and it was his Dad that brought him the game. Since then he has become obsessed. He cannot stop playing it.

He was so normal before. We had so much fun.

He cant see he is addicted, he cant see he has thrown his life away. All because of a game. Its so crazy and not to mention embarrasing! I cant possibly tell family/friends or even my Son that he isnt around anymore because he left me for an online game

I even considered smashiong his PC up to stop him going on it but then he'd prob take out a loan to get another one...

Jesus I really do have a problem dont I?