I love my partner dearly but I really feel like Im being walked over. Things are always up and down with us, but they are very down at the moment.
In some ways he is trying really hard, we have been TTC for 10 months now. As far as I know I dont have a problem, my cycles are regular and Im pretty healthy. He however is very overweight, loves a drink and has been on anti-depressants for a long time for panic attacks. Since the beginning of this year he has gone on a healthy eating diet with me, and has already lost almost a stone. He has cut his drinking down from every night to just Friday and Saturday nights and has started weaning himself off the anti-depressants as he doesnt need them anymore and they are more than likely causing him to have a low sperm count - certainly with the obesity and drinking on top. I am really proud of him for doing so much I really am.
Since he's been doing this though he has turned into a really nasty person. I love him but I dont like him. I try not to spend much time with him at home as I cant say anything to him without him having a go at me. He doesnt listen to anything I say, he just rolls his eyes. He doesnt work at the moment and he does absolutely nothing around the house either. I work all week and have a pretty stressful job, so at the very least I would expect that the washing up would be done by the time I got home from work (especially as its just the plates that he has used during the day) but no. For the last week Ive got home to a dirty kitchen, no dinner ready (not that i expect that) no housework done at all. He's just sitting in front of the TV playing his X-Box. I feel so angry with him but I dont want to argue so I just do it all myself, like a martyr!
My weekends are basically spent cleaning. His are spent sleeping and getting me to do stuff for him. He once called me down from upstairs to come and pass him the remote that he couldnt reach from the sofa! Im not joking!
He nags me constantly about doing stuff and goes on about how he is the tidy one! He is such a hypocrite! He bosses me around, and im sure hes just with me cos I have a car!
He tells me Im boring and that everything I say annoys him. He also said the other day that he doesnt fancy me anymore becuase Im baby mad and its just not sexy. I try really hard not to just have babymaking sex but he doesnt want to know. I bought new sexy underwear, and tried to 'get it on' with him but he just rejected me which is so embarrassing and degrading. I feel so unsexy and frumpy now. He also doesnt make any effort in the bedroom anymore. There was a time that he wouldnt stop until he had made me cum, now its just him lying there with me trying to please him. I get no pleasure anymore unless I do it myself!
I do so much for him and his family. His brother is a paranoid schizophrenic and he stays at our house a couple of nights a week. He is lovely but very hard work, he's very demanding, eats and drinks me out of house and home and needs to talk about what is going on in his head all the time, which I dont mind at all but sometimes Im just so tired. My OH is hard work when his brother is there. Im basically banished to the bedroom whilst they watch football or play video games. He constantly nags his brother too, he cant do anything right either, so its not just me that gets the grief.
Basically my question is, am I stupid to even think of having a baby with this selfish man? is he ever likely to change once a baby arrives? Or would I be better off alone?
The worst thing is I really love him. He does have loads of really good points of course, Im just finding it difficult to see them at the moment. I sometimes cant tell if Im still with him because it is a challenge and certainly not boring like my previous relationship. Im also scared of leaving him as Im obviously really broody, I want a child so much! Trust me, If I was going to use someone just to get pregnant, it wouldnt be him! We have been together for almost 3 years.
I really think he would make a great Dad, and I know he really wants it too. I guess Im scared of leaving him and possibly not finding anyone else to settle down with, certainly have a family as I think you should get to know someone for a long time first. My clock is ticking!
Im praying things get better for us as I dont want us to split up, but at the same time I dont want to be walked over for the rest of my life either. Im so confused! I really dont know what to do for the best. Im sure next week we will be great, but then the week after that it will turn to shit again.
In some ways he is trying really hard, we have been TTC for 10 months now. As far as I know I dont have a problem, my cycles are regular and Im pretty healthy. He however is very overweight, loves a drink and has been on anti-depressants for a long time for panic attacks. Since the beginning of this year he has gone on a healthy eating diet with me, and has already lost almost a stone. He has cut his drinking down from every night to just Friday and Saturday nights and has started weaning himself off the anti-depressants as he doesnt need them anymore and they are more than likely causing him to have a low sperm count - certainly with the obesity and drinking on top. I am really proud of him for doing so much I really am.
Since he's been doing this though he has turned into a really nasty person. I love him but I dont like him. I try not to spend much time with him at home as I cant say anything to him without him having a go at me. He doesnt listen to anything I say, he just rolls his eyes. He doesnt work at the moment and he does absolutely nothing around the house either. I work all week and have a pretty stressful job, so at the very least I would expect that the washing up would be done by the time I got home from work (especially as its just the plates that he has used during the day) but no. For the last week Ive got home to a dirty kitchen, no dinner ready (not that i expect that) no housework done at all. He's just sitting in front of the TV playing his X-Box. I feel so angry with him but I dont want to argue so I just do it all myself, like a martyr!
My weekends are basically spent cleaning. His are spent sleeping and getting me to do stuff for him. He once called me down from upstairs to come and pass him the remote that he couldnt reach from the sofa! Im not joking!
He nags me constantly about doing stuff and goes on about how he is the tidy one! He is such a hypocrite! He bosses me around, and im sure hes just with me cos I have a car!
He tells me Im boring and that everything I say annoys him. He also said the other day that he doesnt fancy me anymore becuase Im baby mad and its just not sexy. I try really hard not to just have babymaking sex but he doesnt want to know. I bought new sexy underwear, and tried to 'get it on' with him but he just rejected me which is so embarrassing and degrading. I feel so unsexy and frumpy now. He also doesnt make any effort in the bedroom anymore. There was a time that he wouldnt stop until he had made me cum, now its just him lying there with me trying to please him. I get no pleasure anymore unless I do it myself!
I do so much for him and his family. His brother is a paranoid schizophrenic and he stays at our house a couple of nights a week. He is lovely but very hard work, he's very demanding, eats and drinks me out of house and home and needs to talk about what is going on in his head all the time, which I dont mind at all but sometimes Im just so tired. My OH is hard work when his brother is there. Im basically banished to the bedroom whilst they watch football or play video games. He constantly nags his brother too, he cant do anything right either, so its not just me that gets the grief.
Basically my question is, am I stupid to even think of having a baby with this selfish man? is he ever likely to change once a baby arrives? Or would I be better off alone?
The worst thing is I really love him. He does have loads of really good points of course, Im just finding it difficult to see them at the moment. I sometimes cant tell if Im still with him because it is a challenge and certainly not boring like my previous relationship. Im also scared of leaving him as Im obviously really broody, I want a child so much! Trust me, If I was going to use someone just to get pregnant, it wouldnt be him! We have been together for almost 3 years.
I really think he would make a great Dad, and I know he really wants it too. I guess Im scared of leaving him and possibly not finding anyone else to settle down with, certainly have a family as I think you should get to know someone for a long time first. My clock is ticking!
Im praying things get better for us as I dont want us to split up, but at the same time I dont want to be walked over for the rest of my life either. Im so confused! I really dont know what to do for the best. Im sure next week we will be great, but then the week after that it will turn to shit again.