7 Months pregnant by a guy who doesnt like me

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by grumpy_angel2004, Jan 25, 2005.

  1. grumpy_angel2004

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    Hi everyone I am 18 years old and I am 7 months pregnant and in love with this guy who got be pregnant. We dated for 6 months and he broke up with me after we found out I was like 2 months pregnant. Now he has a new girlfriend and me and her are friends. He doesnt like me and wants nothing to do with me until the baby is born. I love this guy deeply and would do anything for him in the world. He told me he doesnt care about me and I dont know if he even cared about me from the beginning it sounds like he didnt. Then his new girlfriend tells me all that he does with her and with those things I had to make him do with me like hold my hand make out with me hold me anything. And she tells me that he is always smiling with her and it was hard for me to get him to smile. He isnt the type to fall in love easly but I think he is gonna fall in love with her but she doesnt think that. He wants to buy her a neckless for valentines day and he has NEVER bought anything for any of his exes he told her he wants to prove something to her but we dont know what? I am happy they are together even though it hurts me so much. I want him to be happy even if it means without me. I dont know what to do. He thinkgs im trying to ruin his life just because he wont get back with me im not I love him more than anything in the world and I dont know what to do? Im so lost without him. He was my first love and first to have sex with and a lot of other things and im the first for him in some areas. Before I met him I was so unhappy then when he came into my life he changed it I was soooo happy. But not that we are not together I am so depressed again and dont know how to handle it espically since I am pregnant. He knows how I feel for him but he in his own words " I dont give a f*ck how you feel for me!!" I dont know if he is just mad at me or what but I want him more than anything. Can anyone help me with what Im suppose to do?
     
  2. lizzie53

    lizzie53 Member

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    i think this guy is a little scared that he got someone pregnant and his emotions may not be displayed clearly. if he doesnt want to have a relationship there really isn't anything to do except love your baby and do what u can to raise him/her to the best of ur abilities. @ least he isn't denying the baby & he's going to be a part of the baby's life? ur still young sweetie & love will strike again. love isn't really love if it isnt reciprocated & if this guy just doesnt have the same feelings then let him go. i know its painful sweetie but u'll make it thru. think how strong u are already by going thru a pregnancy!!

    i have to go for now but i'll be back w/ some more advice .. good luck!
     
  3. lizzie53

    lizzie53 Member

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    basically i just wanted to let u know that his uncaring behavior is not the end of the world for u bcuz u have so much more to give to someone deserving. patience will bring u someone who loves and respects u for who u r. perhaps this guy just isn't right for u. i know its rough but w/ time u'll see that ur better off anyway & deserve much better.

    take care of urself and ur baby. if u need to talk or just someone to listen, feel free to email me.
     
  4. cath

    cath Member

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    sounds like you have got 'first love symdrome' as i call it!!! i had the same, i got pg by my first love and i thought it would make him love me but it did the opposite!!he ran away when i was 6 months pg, i thought he would come back but he didnt!!
    i thought it was the end of the world but then i met my fiance when i was 33 weeks pg and i realised that i deserved better than my ex and i have now got it!!
    i think you really need to move on and get over this guy, trust me there is someone out there that will love you and your baby so much more!!!
     
  5. Strangeness

    Strangeness Well-Known Member

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    How old is the father of you baby? If he is the same age as you then he is still a baby himself. Girls mature quicker than boys and finding out he is going to be a father at a young age is really scary. Some boys handle it very well, others run and the only way they know how to cope is to cut off all ties and pretend that it doesn't exsist. I know how hard it can be to get over your first love and you feel you will never love again but believe me you will pbably love a few more people until you find the person you really love. When you find that person you will wonder what you ever saw in that person and realise how much is wasn't love because with the new person it really is love!

    The best thing you can do is concentrate on you and your baby! You two are the most important thing and I know you'll want to be a good mum! You need to get over your depression as well so you can focus everything on bringing up the baby. If you need help with it speak to you GP, they might be able to help in some way.
     
  6. MellyB

    MellyB Member

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    Hey honey,
    Im so sorry that you're in this situation. with my first pregnancy I discovered that my boyfriend wasn't exactly father material. we partied a lot aand had lots of fun but when i found out i was pregnant i realized we needed to grow up and he didn't quite realize that yet. at about 2 months pregnant i dumped him. i heard a lot about how terrible that was of me (and i might here too) but i just knew that for the moment no dad was better than a terrible dad for my baby. My baby is 4 yrs now and i have gotten married to a wonderful guy who loves my son as if he were his own. i have heard that my ex is still out there partying so i know i did the right thing. i know it might be hard for you but i suggest you just give up the idea of this guy. he clearly isnt ready to grow up. for now, its really the best thing you could do for your baby as the less stressed you are the better. its obviously stressing you out to be thinking so much about this guy so let it go for now if you can. that's not to say things with him wont change in the future but for now just concentrate on doing what you can for you and your baby. you're very brave to go through with everything. i know how it feels to be young and alone and pregnant and scared. let me just tell you how worth it it all is. whether this guy comes around or not you have a precious gift coming to you. i hope you post more to let us know how you're doing!
    God Bless,
    Melissa
     
  7. hayley

    hayley Well-Known Member

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    Hi

    I think you should start by distancing yourself from him and his new girlfriend for a while until you feel a little less sad about the situation. You say your friends with his new girlfriend. Is she a friend of yours or did you meet her through him? The reason I ask is a friend should never date an ex boyfriend of one of her friends. A true friend would never date your ex knowing how much pain this is causing you. I feel she is rubbing salt into the wound by telling you how much he smiles, laughs and enjoys her comany. A break from him ad her might make you feel a little better. Your main concerns now should be your unborn baby and your own health. I know you say you love him, but would you want him back knowing he can be so unkind to you. You deserve much better. Let him grow up and realise how stupid he has been. In the mean time spend as much time with your true girl friends. Are you close to your mum? Your only young, you will meet mr right one day and when you do you will realise that he was not good enough for you. As someone else said in this post.... it is better to have no dad than a bad dad. When you see your babies face you will realise he is most definately NOT the most important person in your life.
     
  8. soconfused

    soconfused Well-Known Member

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    i completely understand your situation as i am in the same 1, and 19 yrs old. although i do not know how old the dad 2 your baby is, mines 27 but acts like hes 12. i know how u must feel about the holding hands and just generally having to heard about or watch them all the time. 2weeks ago the father of my bump offered to get a house with me and finish his gf cuz hes loved me all along and has always wanted children. then i see them in the pub together laughing and joking and our mutual friends always say how happy they are togther. well last nite i got home 2find his mother sat in my living room asking for a paternity test. that was gutting as hes the only person iv slept with since we wer together and there hasnt been anyone else since. and shes decided that neither her or my ex are having anythin 2do with the baby until i can prove it. if you need 2 talk or just sum1 2 listen just msg me cuz i do understand your situation.

    x
     

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