Advice/suggestions needed.. sorry long post!!

[Baileysmummy]

I have been with my hubby for nearly 7 yrs now, married 5 yrs in june...

He is 37 yrs old, im 25 just turned,
before i got with mark he had been hurt in the past etc by previous girlfriends..

I have tried to show him how much i love him , we got married, had babies, got a home together, bought it as well, he still doesnt trust me enough to let me out on my own, he thinks the lads will go for me, i must admit hes knows im a pretty girl, but why cant he forget whats happened to him, why is he making me life a misery..
The constant accusations are really getting to me, i sometimes wonder wtf, why dont i do it then,

Friends are a no go for me as well, the only friends i have are computer friends, he always has something to say about them or slags them off to me, he thinks they will lure me to leave him..
Im never gonna do it cos i love him and hes the father of my kids, i just want him to settle down and let go..

Last weekend i actually went mad and hit him, i felt bad but he restrained me and i got hurt in the end, he didnt mean to do it, but now im worried in case anything else happens and i have to leave..

Im worried about the kids and what affect this is having on them, surly they know something is wrong.. My parents seem to think my eldest is down about us, but he never wants to be without us..

Mark is a fantastic dad and i cannot fault him in that.. all i want is a few idea's to make him realise i do love him and will never leave him.. hes so insecure..

any suggestions, on how i handle this, i want things sorted before the baby arrives..

 

[budge]

i reckon the reason why your hubbys so paranoid and insecure about you being unfaithful is perhaps becasue he is
Thats what they say anyway.
The fact that there is violence in your relationships leads me to tell you to give it in and separate.

lack of trust, violence, unhappiness and general lack of communication are a real recipe for disaster.

on saying that if you really love him and he loves you you could suggest going to relate for help.

 

[glitzyglamgirl]

I know how painful it is when the man you love doesnt trust you, my OH is obsessed with my past - specifically that I experimented when I was a teenager and now hes convinced im into girls - no offence to anyone but I am so NOT into girls!

Every now and again he'll start stewing on it again and make my life a misery for a few days (like now actually) and I often wonder what the hell im doing planning a life with someone who cant trust me!

But I guess as usual we'l kiss and make up at some point, I'll say im sorry for god knows what, he'll say hes sorry and that will be that till next time.....sorry im hijacking your thread lol

You need to tell him that he needs to trust you, you cant prove it to him because well...you shouldnt have to.....and if the fact that you havnt actually given him any reason not to trust you is oblivious to him right now, theres not much you can do but try and talk to him and reasure him that you would never do anything to hurt him.

 

[Baileysmummy]

many thanks for your replys on this one girls..

Mark isnt unfaithful, i know that 100%, its because hes thinking about his past, he got with a girl who was pregnant she left him after he brought the baby up as his own after he bought everything he could for her, he has been terribly hurt, he has a son from a previous relation ship who he doesnt see and thats not his fault but lets not get in to that one, not my place to saY
Glitzygamgirl, im the same as you in some respect, we kiss and make up..

I just want him to know there is help out there for us, so if he sees this he may realise what we are actually going through and go with me to some kind of counselling before it does get out of hand..

and yes i have thought and numerous times id love to give up on him, it breaks my heart to say that, but deep down i belive hes the way he is because he does love me in his own way..
maybe its me with the problem..

who knows
xx