Advice please :'(

[MummyTo5]

I really need some girlie advice please....

I have been married just over 7 months, I have 3 beautiful children from a previous relationship and hubby has 1 things haven't always been easy he struggles with the fact I have three sometimes but so far we have seemed to get thru it he is good with them and most of the times things are great, as soon as we got together we talked about having a baby as it would complete our family bring us closer together this is not something I took lightly tho me ex left me when my daughter was 4 weeks old and I am terrified of it happening again and not only that this will be my 4th c-section we haven't been using protection for months and sometimes hubby was like I want a baby no I don't etc he kept changing his mind and yesterday I got a positive pregnancy test I was over the moon i thought he would be too but instead he has to.d me he wants me to get rid of it :'( I am heartbroken I don't agree with abortions in anyway so no I feel so lost how an I raise 4 children age 6 and under by myself do I really want to be in that position?. I feel so lost and hurt and let down and scared.....

Please helpxx

 

[nikki8092]

My husband didnt want a 3rd and shortly after getting married i found out i was pregnant. At first he wanted me to have an abortion but i had ane when i was very young and dont think i could do it again as it messes you up emotionally. Remind him it took 2 of you to get into this situation and you need his support through him. Explain to him abortion is not an option and hopefully he will come round to your way of thinking as my husband did. He might just be having last minute nerves about it hun xx

 

[Sam's Mum]

I'm so sorry he's being so unfair. If he's even suggested in the past that he'd like another he might come round - so many men tend to panic when things change, even if they'd been trying for months for a baby. What he's said to you is completely put of order considering he's been having sex with you without contraception knowing that you want a baby. I'd calmly tell him that you are keeping the baby and give him some space - as much as you might just want to strangle him (I would!) it may be that he does just need some time to think about what he's asking you to do and that he's risking throwing away his marriage

 

[MummyTo5]

Thank you so much I just can't stop crying and can not talk to anyone because I don't want them knowing what he's said last night was awful he basically said to me he would leave me if I didn't which like you say is so unfair he knew what he was doing too!! So I turned it back on him and said if he makes me I will leave him not cuz I want to trap him but because he's making me do something I don't want to and don't believe in I just feel so lost xx

 

[nikki8092]

Im sure he just needs time to get used to the idea as my husband did. he only wanted 2 and i wanted 3 so was always a big "debate" on that situation. however he is happy about it now so it can happen hun. just remember there are people that can support you through your decision no matter what it may be. xx

 

[Bee7]

So sorry to hear that you're doing through this hun. What a difficult situation. You need support right now, not to feel alone and scared. As the other ladies have said, it could just be the shock of the pregnancy that has got to him and in time he'll get used to the idea and come round. Shouldn't really be a shock though...if you haven't been using protection for a while then this was quite clearly on the cards. Wouldn't do him any harm to be reminded of that. If he felt so strongly against it then he should have spoken up sooner.

Ultimately this is your choice and if you don't believe in abortion then you shouldn't do it just for him, otherwise it will cause all sorts of resentment and problems in your relationship. Good luck hun, really hope you can sort it out together xxx

 

[MummyTo5]

Thank you so much for advice ladies I used a lot of it and it seems to have done the trick he seems to have come round and has told me he really wants bubba he's excited but just scared why is it men have to lash out when they are scared we get scared too but hay let's see what happens I have an emergency scan booked on Thursday next week I think he will change so much when we go to that well hope so anyway...

Thanks again girlies xx

 

[BabysMomma]

Glad he's came around for you hunni. Massive Good luck with your scan. x

 

[nikki8092]

Wait until he sees the baby on screen, that did it for my husband he just sat there smiling. Good luck with the scan xx

 

[MummyTo5]

Thank you girlies I'm so excited now thanks again for all the support really needed it today xx