Absolutely FUMING!!!

[Dragonfly Fi]

So, Liams mum was due to visit this weekend to see her grandson, i pumped milk all week, prepared the house for her, made sure i had somewhere else to go (because we DO NOT get on at all, apparently me wanting her to be civil to me is just too much and therefore i wont have her around me) and prepared myself to be away from my 5 week old baby just for her to meet him

which i thought was quite reasonable of me...

We discover on FRIDAY NIGHT that she has decided not to come, Liams sister cannot journey with her so therefore shes not going to come down at all. Piss take

Anyway, then i spoke to Liam and asked when she would be travelling down because i need a good few weeks to prepare and get feeds ready for him so that i can make myself scarce (Jasper relies on me for everything so for us to be seperated takes its time)

He told me she was going to try and come down at the end of September but she was coming with his other sister (who i absolutely cannot stand, want nothing to do with and has done nothing but judge me and Liam and our life together since the day she met me)

I am so upset by this... Liam has basically invited this woman into my home without even CONSULTING me about it, with his mother i could handle him being here alone without me but that girl wants nothing but to judge us. I dont want her in my home!

Liam just gets angry when i talk to him about it, refuses to have a polite or open conversation about any of it, i mentioned that i didnt want his sister here and he said they could go out in town for the day (but six hours or so is a long, long time to have Jasper out of the house, we dont have a pram so where would he be able to lie down and have a sleep? How would that work exactly)

Anyway, so Liam got more and more angry and shouty with me, i was like 'why dont we just go up to Leeds, i can stay in a BnB and you can take Jasper to your sisters house for the day' again pretty nice of me i thought, considering i think this woman is the bitch from hell.

Nope, not good enough, its too long a drive, they can just come here (and have my son uncomfortable all day, dont think so...)

Anyway, we finally agreed on a couple of things but i am pissed off with him, for suggesting that his bloody sister is just welcome to walk into our life like that, and he even said 'i hadnt discussed with my mum where we would be, just that she would be in salisbury, she probably thinks shes not welcome in the house' so why the HELL do i go through the effort

surely if you wanted things to be nicer between your wife and your mother you would say something like 'Fi knows how much you want to meet Jasper so she is going to bugger off for the day and let us chill with him at home' or something

Nope, as usual i get made out to be the evil bad person (who abuses Liam dontcha know) and nothing gets sorted ever

So i have said to him that by law Jasper is too young to be removed from his mother and i think according to the courts i can have him near me until he is two and no one can suggest that i do otherwise, so thats what i am going to do, if they want to see him they can wait until he is old enough to not need his mummy as much as he does right now

Liam has gone off in a huff claiming that 'i do it to myself' and 'no wonder my family hate you' and i am here with Jasper screaming

What would you have done?

 

[mrsH2009]

Hun what an awful situation to be in. I have no advice but I know I'd be angry too as it is your home that you aren't able to be yourself in

 

[MrsR]

That's awful! I can't believe he'd do that knowing how you don't get on! Unfortunatly family is one of those things that gets our backs up, for example I rant and rave and complain about my mum to Rob but if he said just one thing about her I'd defend her immediatly! My sister is the same! x I do think it's a bit extreme to expect you to leave Jasper at 5 weeks old! I would probably have done the same thing and said the same as you! If they want Jasper out ALL day then they should buy a pram! I'm so annoyed for you! Hope it gets sorted asap x big hugs x

 

[Dragonfly Fi]

I think we are going to drive to Leeds, that way i know Jasper will be in a house for most of the day and i can come and feed him in the car when he needs it

plus i get a wee holiday op norf

 

[mrsH2009]

Glad you have managed to sort something out, even if it is a massive compromise.

 

[MrsR]

Ooooh love Leeds! x lol x glad you reached a compromise honey x

 

[Toonlass]

I know you don't get on with his family but how else do you expect your OH to react? It's his mum and his sister and he is probably so excited to show his little man off to them. Go easy on him chick, it can't be nice to have your wife so against his family xx

 

[flexilexi394]

i remember a post you did a few days ago about you have expressed LOADS of milk and stuff, god that is annoying!! hope it gets sorted x

 

[evie_smith]

Couldn't you just sit upstairs? Lol sounds a little anti social but say your getting the bedrooms sorted and taking a bath coz you hve a headache that way he can be brought up to you for feeds x


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[Toonlass]

just read my post back and it sounds so nasty, i sent it from my phone and its harder to type what you wanna say. Basically you can choose your friends but not your family. I know you have broke your back to compramise but go easy on your OH chick it must be so hard for him to have such a devide between his family and woman he loves xx

 

[Dragonfly Fi]

i know its really hard for him... but at the same time, if its something he wanted sorted then when i went to all the effort of expressing milk, preparing to leave the house for the day and be without my 5 week old, he would at least of mentioned that to them! Rather than treating it like i had done NOTHING to accomidate his family - that way we arent getting anywhere...

The reason i dont want his sister here is because she has on more than one occasion accused me of being a dole scrounging psycho, with no indication or grace to actually find out how we live our lives (we are actually working very hard to buy this house off my mother and do our best to make the most out of our situation.

So no, i dont want her prying around my home so that she can use any negative she finds to judge and belittle us at a later date, i would rather we went up to Leeds and i spent the day in a BnB than have my life/home/family ripped apart continously.

Obviously i am the one refusing to compromise though, dispite the fact his mother responded to coming to Salisbury with 'oh i am bringing the one person your wife will NEVER get on with' rather than trying to build any bridges

mind you he didnt bother telling her the effort i had gone to, so what do i expect really?

 

[cherelle]

cant you just talk to the mother directly? explain to her all the trouble to went to to accomadate her and that your 5 week old is obviously very reliant on you at the moment ....... surely a woman who has had children should understand? I would take it into my own hands and try to speak to her directly x

 

[vixforever]

How did it go in the end hun?