should i see her?

[trixipaws]

my boyf is going to london 2mro for work business. he's back on tuesday evening. as usual im working these 2 days so millie is staying at my parents'.

my boyf's step-sister has invited me to her new house 2mro nite (she lives with an old girlfriend of mine whom iv not seen for years too- 'twill be nice to catch up!) as iv seen her a few times at work (we work together, on different shifts and floors but we do bump into each other at times)

just told my boyf and he doesnt want me to go! he said coz he's a bit pissed off with her at the moment- his reason being she is always texting him asking him to come see her new house etc, yet this year she has only come to ours once- which was millie's birthday party- and apparently (i didnt kno this at the time my boyf told me later) she was off her tits on speed which really annoyed him that she'd turned up to a baby event on drugs. which of course he does have a point

its just that i thought it'd be nice to get out and see people 2mro nite rather than come home all by myself to an empty house (well apart from the cat and the hamster lol)

but she is HIS sister i think if i'd fallen out with my family i might be slightly miffed if he went socialising with them like i was betrayed maybe but as u may kno its him whose fallen out with MY sister too and stopped me from seeing her (well not strictly i can SEE her literally but he doesnt want me going out clubbing with her etc) for those who dont kno his reason for that is coz she is bulimic and he blames her for my eating habits (well for not eating enough and being underweight) so he does have a point there also.

i just feel a bit like a dummy sometimes, like a child even, when im "not allowed" things he can be a bit controlling. im gonna have no-one left to be allowed to visit soon!

should i respect his wishes and not go 2mro nite or should i tell him im going anyway

 

[1sttimemum]

Tricky one, As you say she was out of order coming to your daughters birthda drugged up - she did no harm though in the end?!

Shes his sister and so it looks like your in the middle.

Yet he does sound controlling keep telling you who you can and cant see, At the end of the day, re your sister, your going to do what you want if she is bulimic or not. Your not going to be cured once shes cured IYKWIM.

Hard Decision there.

 

[fifi211]

It is a bit of a tricky one, but if I'm honest and I was in you situation, I would probably respect his wishes regarding his sister. For starters, I wouldn't want to get drawn in to the argument between them and secondly I would be pretty p*ssed off with her as well for turning up to the party on drugs.

Regarding your sister, I can kinda see his point but as 1sttimemum said above, you are gonna do what you want regardless of what your sister does. I do think it is controlling but I can kinda see his reasons (sort of ). However, I would never let hubby tell me not to see my sisters for whatever reason.

 

[ShineyHappyPeople]

Hmmm I would probably go! His sister hasn't done anything major and asking you all up to her new house isn't exactly an awful thing to do to be honest. Just say to him "look im going to be lonely and i've been looking forward to a night in with them. if you really really dont want me to go fine, but I want to".. see what he says, either way, try & make him come round to the idea

As for your sister, thats completely your choice, no one can come between sisters! I know hes only looking out for you but you want to be there for your sister too and likewise

I know I sound like an old pensioner but sometimes I think life is too short for petty squabbles - go out and have a laugh! Your boyf won't be there so there won't be any tension anyway.

 

[Jade&Evie]

His sister hasn't done anything major

if one of jon's brothers turned up to Evie's party drugged up and I found out theywouldn't be alive to visit.

I wouldn't go- you don't have to respect his wishes regarding your sister but with HIS I would do as he wants x

 

[lfc_sarah]

Id respect his wishes too hun

 

[ejjie]

I think it's a difficult one hon. I understand him not wanting his sister round your baby because of the drugs thing but you going round to visit (and see your friend too) is not putting Millie at risk.... but it is HIS sister. Just try and explain to him that you want to get out and socialise and that Millie will be safe out of harms way. Maybe this could be an opportunity to talk to her and get them on good terms again (without interfering) x

 

[trixipaws]

just updating the thread- i didnt go, and im glad i did respect his wishes. he called me on monday nite and after the first few "i miss you"'s and "hav u had a nice day/eve"'s he asked me did i go- so im glad i didnt have to say "yes, i went against what u said" or "no, but im lying to u"! i think i did the right thing!

thanx for the advice everyone

 

[nori]

I was just about to say i wouldnt go as id be p!ssed off about the whole drugs thing. However i would definately keep in contact with your own friends and your sister as it does sound like your OH is slightly controlling. Dont lose your mates as you never know when you will need them!

Claire x