A little rant... feel free to join me!

[Hayley1608]

So...

I had a c section last wednesday 24th aug. Our little girl is perfect and we both love her so so much. The recovery was a difficult time for me, i'd never been to hospital before... never even to a and e so going for such a big operation was a big deal. I was in for 3 nights and returned home on saturday.

My inlaws can be quite frankly pains in the ass sometimes. my dhs brother turned up to the hospital when we were bringing savannah home and was trying to make dh travel in his car! I know this is maybe not the biggest deal but it was important to me to have dh with me on her first journey home. This was the first thing that wound me up.

since that day he turned up every single day without fail, DH said that because he isnt usually here ( he lives about an hour and a half away from us) that he will be hanging around for the first few days. I understand this to a certain degree but i wanted us to have a bit of time to ourselves with our new baby.

DH had to go out on tuesday for the day and i was on my own with the baby. Because its difficult for me to get up and downstairs he brought everything upstairs so i didnt have to move too far (We are staying with my nan at the moment and she has dogs... i didnt want to stay down there all day with the baby and dogs on my own!) I had the steriliser bottles nappies and her moses basket all within a meter of me. Around half past 3 dh text to ask if his brother had turned up at the house. I said no but that i hoped he wouldn't just turn up as there was baby sick everywhere, i had just managed to settle savannah and i hadn't even had a shower yet. Dh then text to say that he told his brother now wasnt a good time so he wouldnt come.

Next thing i know he's on the drive with his wife and daughter. They came upstairs and asked to cuddle her even though i had just gotten her to go to sleep. his wife picked savannah up and woke her up again. after a short whle they left and i was again on my own with a screaming baby who i couldn't settle.

He rang my dh that night to tell him that he thinks i am postnatally depressed as i was rude to them when they arrived and seemed very withdrawn! I was so angry at this as even though i was fuming that they had just turned up unannounced i tried my hardest to smile and friendly despite the fact i was in agony and extremely hacked off.

Since this day my brother in law has also rang my mother in law and told her im depressed so she spent an hour yesterday questioning me about my feelings.

I'm so annoyed that they all think i cannot cope and that they are talking about me behind my back. The fact is i had just had an operation and looking after a newborn baby is difficult enough usually let alone when you can hardly move. Also this was my first day completley on my own with her and considering the circumstances i think i did quite well.

Sorry about the rant and congratulations if you managed to get to the end of it!

I'm just so annoyed about it all as at one point they even had me doubting myself as to whether i was coping or not

grrrr!

 

[ippa]

Wow they seem seriously over powering, does your oh know how you feel?
And also your not allowed to drive for 6 weeks so really out of order him asking your oh to go with them!
XxX

 

[knopk@]

I would tell them to piss off to be honest, you are doing a great job and they came to wake the baby who had just gone to sleep, are they out of their mind?
Tell your husband you want it to be the three of you for a bit whilst you recover and then you can have visitors whe YOU are ready

 

[stacey_lea86]

I Agree with the above. I would tell them to piss off...You should have visitors when YOU feel ready for them. There's nothing worse than feeling crabby, sore & to have to entertain people. an hour & a half is not that far a drive & they should have consulted you first to see if you were up for visitors! xx

 

[DaisyPurple]

Oh hun what a bunch of selfish inconsiderate nosey interfering know-it-alls! So sorry your having to deal.with this xx

 

[Joo]

Blimey, they've got some cheek! How insensitive.
Tell your dh to tell them to butt out!

 

[Maria1977]

I had a csection too and remember how hard it is recovering and looking after a newborn, while at the same time having to tolerate everyone wanting a piece of the baby. It was alllll the time for me too.

To say you have postnatal depression is rude and so f**king what if you do, most of us get the baby blues at the least and it's normal.

People are so arrgravating and inconsiderate.

I know people want to see the new baby but it's so important to have time alone as a family.

I'd tell OH exactly how you feel and if he get offended tell him to have time to think about it outside the box coz right now it's about you and the baby, esp recovering from a csection too.

xxxxxxxx

 

[Hayley1608]

thanks guys,

I didnt know whether it was just me making a big deal but they really annoyed me. Especially by turning up unannounced and then talking about me behind my back saying im not coping and that i should talk to somebody. I don't feel depressed, i was very emotional the night we brought her home and thats another reason why his brother said it. It was just such a big thing to me and i thought they would understand that having a baby is an emotional time! not all of us are made of stone...

Thanks for your support! I know it was a long post so I appreciate you taking the time to read and reply

xxx

 

[Geminiblue]

er no you are definatlely NOT making a big deal....massive hug for you stand your ground if you can I know how hard this can be I promise Ive been there. You rant away here babe you are doing brilliantly coping really well knowing that you dont wake a sleeping baby, you dont just turn up everday after a baby is born...honest to god dont even get me started xxx

 

[kirstymichelle]

God i never had a c section and i would have been majorly pissed off if anyone turned up and woke my baby like that and yes i would have been rude and i would have also told them now was not a good time. Depressed my arse! it just takes time to adjust. I am the funniest person about people coming round to my house at the best of times never mind in that situation! my home is my sanctuary x

 

[littlemuffin]

You are good, I wouldn't of answered the door, if they asked why I would say, "Ive just had major surgery, and I can't get up and down the stairs that easy" Tell them to bugger off next time!

 

[AyeshaD]

You shouldn't have visitors at least for first two weeks, tell you Oh, you dont want visitors so you and your precious baby get some rest..

 

[AyeshaD]

I stayed over to my mum's house whole 6 weeks after having my child because I know if I stayed at my house, There's going no rest.