A Dilema.. What would you do? *update p.2*

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Sounds like a bit of a b****r hunny, I think maybe he should give it a chance, especially if it is such a great opportunity. At least for a bit. I remember that one of the issues when you found out you were prego again was money, so maybe it will mean that you can get ahead, dunno it's a big decision. Seems to me that there will always be time for him to give it up - worth a bit of a try, I think...

:hug: :hug: :hug:

Lisa
 
hmm tricky one.

If he didn't take the job would he end up wondering "what if" for the rest of his life? It might be worth a shot, atleast that way you will both know he gave it his best and it didnt work out other than wondering.

My OH was in a similar position last year. He was offered his dream job working for Diesel, and we were both worried about the hours/money etc and knew he would be bringing a lot of work home with him and it would be very stressful for a while. He decided it was worth a shot as it could lead to bigger and better things even if it was going to be hard for a while.

He took the job, and after a month realised it wasnt for him, and thankfully was offered his old job back...but with a promotion and payrise!

He says now he doesnt regret it, but is glad he gave it a shot otherwise he would always wonder "what if".
 
hi, i think he should maybe try out the job to see if he likes it and if it does affect your family too much and you both feel that it disadvantages you as a family then he could always leave but this way it stops him regretting never giving it a go.

xxxx
 
For me family everytime, I'd live off baked beans on toast (yum :D). It may be a dream job, but whats the point in that if you never get to see the ones you love, or watch your babba grow up?

Depends, do you work to live or live to work? :D
 
Fluffy Bunny said:
For me family everytime, I'd live off baked beans on toast (yum :D). It may be a dream job, but whats the point in that if you never get to see the ones you love, or watch your babba grow up?

Depends, do you work to live or live to work? :D
Click to expand...

I agree with this.
 
I voted family too. I've worked as a chef at a big fancy restaurant too and it does totally take over your life, the hours suck, and even if he did get more money when is he ever going to be able to enjoy it?
It's true these jobs are not for people with family really, they will always be short staffed, always be calling him in to do more.
 
im probably going to sound pretty selfish, but if it was me i wouldnt want him to do it. coz my hubby works as a chef now and work 10-10 , 5-6 days a week. and like you half the time i feel like im a single mum coz 90% of the time i have to do everything myself. and it does get very stressful. atm he looking for another job with less long hours. but at the end of the day everyones situation is different. but i wouldnt like it myself :hug: good luck in whatever you decide
 
I've voted for family, and would everytime! :)

Sounds like you need him (in so many ways) more than he needs this job?!
 
i voted family. imo time is more valueable than money. im not a career-oriented person tho
 
the kids will only be small for a wee while. :D

I said family by the way. And he has you to look after too.
 
The chef who runs my cookery course said he regrets missing out on his childrens time when they were younger and even though now he's taken a back seat in his career, he can't get that time back.

That said though, I know if it was my OH I'd tell him to do it for a bit, see how it worked out and then could always change jobs again if it wasn't working. But my OH is stubborn like that so he'd probably take the job anyway, to prove something to himself..

I didn't vote because I can see both sides. I know I'd want my OH to be happy and I would probably leave the choice up to him of whether he prefers the money or his kids time. x
 
I havent voted for either because my advice would be for him to stick with it just while he applies for a job somewhere else he would like to work where he wouldn't have to work such terrible hours, he may be able to use the fact he currently works at such a sought after resturant as a stepping stone into another good job?
 
rachelandjarvis said:
We just dont know what to do...

Basicaly my partner has just walked into an absolutly amazing job oppertunity. (to work as a chef in the most up-market-footballers-and-millionares-only-resturant in Liverpool. :shock: :) (im SO proud of him)

But theres draw backs.
- the money isnt great, not untill "he has shown his commitment" apparently. (how ever long that is i dont know!)
- he suffers from dermintitious (sp?)nothing from the docs helps, he gave up chefing at xmas due to his hands being sooo split and raw. (he applied for this job ages ago - its cooking that makes them go like this)
- his boss said to him "seriously, if your a 'family' person then this job isnt for you, you will be here ALL the time"
-He will do no less then 55 hours a week - mostly more.
-my partner says its very pear-presure too.. like you MUST socialise after work with them too. (till 1am in the morning) (drinking) (this seems to be everynight)
- due to reasons above he will only see Hananh about once a week!!!
-we where ment to be going to scotland next week fro a holiday, theres no chance if he stays in this job.

He leaves for work at 8am. (comes home wayy after 1am)


But this IS the most amazing oppertunity.. maybe in a few months/years the money will be great, we'll be able to buy our own place/car etc. Even just saying you have worked in 'so-n-so' resturant on your C.V. is brilliant. It was also his childhood dream to be a chef.

Also im suffering from pnd. (it has been diagnosed altho im not taking/doing anything about it yet) Im struggeling with this pregnancy also so doing 'everything' from now on scares me quite alot. My life will be a 'single-mother' if he stays in this job. Supose thats me being selfish tho. Before this job came up, my partner had given up the idea of being a chef and was just trying to get an office job 9-5 like.

We just dont know what to do. :wall: :cry: he says hes not bothered if i want him to leave (he thinks he may want to leave himself anyway cos of his hands) but i dont want us to end up regreting this oppertunity.
What would you do?
Click to expand...

I voted 'forget this job'. There are plenty of other ways of making money, other jobs. It sounds like you wouldn't have a life as a family at all. Family is more important than anything, time together.
 
I have to agree, also psoriasis is REALLY sore he would be miserable, I guess I could understand maybe if it was alot more money straight away but it sounds a bit nightmarish to me....

I hope you're ok and get the support u need for PND hon :hug: :hug:

xx
 
Thanks EVERYONE for your replys!!!!!!

update: He's left. Not really personal choice, but this morning the boss chef had a real go at him for being told to get 'propper' boots. O/H tried to argue back saying how could he have got the chance to get new boots when he's been in work the whole 'shop opening' time. Then the boss went crazy and said he had to shave. (he hadnt shaved that morning) (right there and then in front of other staff) :shock: :shock: Then the boss spotted his hands when he was on the grill (when he's around heat his hands go bright red) and he spotted the dermitious. Told him to get out there and then :(
The other chefs approached O/H before he left and said he could still work there, but he needs to show he wants to by argueing with the boss (apparently the boss does this to make the 'weak' ones leave) but my O/H/ said he just didnt have any fight in him. And new maybe he wasnt cut out ofr it anyway.
He's really depressed. But im so proud of him anyway, and it has probably worked out for the best. Id hate to work for an arse like that anyway! :evil:
He has another job lined up anyway, so we'll be fine. :D
 
rachelandjarvis said:
Thanks EVERYONE for your replys!!!!!!

update: He's left. Not really personal choice, but this morning the boss chef had a real go at him for being told to get 'propper' boots. O/H tried to argue back saying how could he have got the chance to get new boots when he's been in work the whole 'shop opening' time. Then the boss went crazy and said he had to shave. (he hadnt shaved that morning) (right there and then in front of other staff) :shock: :shock: Then the boss spotted his hands when he was on the grill (when he's around heat his hands go bright red) and he spotted the dermitious. Told him to get out there and then :(
The other chefs approached O/H before he left and said he could still work there, but he needs to show he wants to by argueing with the boss (apparently the boss does this to make the 'weak' ones leave) but my O/H/ said he just didnt have any fight in him. And new maybe he wasnt cut out ofr it anyway.
He's really depressed. But im so proud of him anyway, and it has probably worked out for the best. Id hate to work for an arse like that anyway! :evil:
He has another job lined up anyway, so we'll be fine. :D
Click to expand...

:hug: his boss does sound like a rignt arse, almost as bad as my hubby boss :roll: . but glad hes got another job lined up already :)
 
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