A child against all odds - at what price?

[glitzyglamgirl]

I was watching an article the other day about a lady who had ovarian cancer, so when they operated they took some of her eggs, fertilsied them with her partners sperm and froze the embryo's as she would eb unable to produce eggs after her operation. Now, 5 years later, she has split from the partner but is fighting for permission to use the frozen embryo's to have a baby.

I can see her point of view - they are her embryo's and she will never be able to produce anymore eggs or have her own children, they are her last hope. But I can also see her ex partners point of view, he doesnt want to have a child with her so should she be allowed to use embryo's fertilised by his sperm, literally forcing him into becoming a father.

Im really on the fence with this one,so thought id see what people on here think of this, as it is quite topical.

A more indepth story can be found here http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/4779876.stm

Jax x

 

[budge]

ive heard this story before and as much as i sympathise with the woman i don't agree that the embryos should be used.

Why should he be forced into fatherhood with a woman he no longer has a relationship with.

Its a very sad situation

 

[violet-glow]

Why should he be forced into fatherhood with a woman he no longer has a relationship with.

Thats how I feel about it! ..That woman gets me so angry when shes on chatshows demanding to have his child and use his sperm. But doesnt she see it from his point of view. He has a new partner now and doesnt want to make babies with his EX. I know its her only chance but surely adoption would be better. There are so many children in care that she could give her love to.



P.S oOOooo im in cardiff aswell lol

 

[glitzyglamgirl]

another Cardiff gal yay!

I think youve both hit the nail on the head there.

She was saying that if she had been impregnated with the embryos and then they split he wouldnt be able to force her into a termination, so shes equating it to the same thing - but I dont believe it is the same thing, they are not living developing babies are they?

Like you I do feel for her, it must be an awful awful thing to know that you will never get pregnant but there are your frozen embryos that you cant use, but he legally withdrew his consent and that facility is there for a reason, to protect those that genuinly do not want there sperm/eggs to be used.

Thanks for the replies, im coming down off the fence hehe

Jax x

 

[Tara & Liam]

I think that she cant adopt because of the cancer, am i right.

I think that the courts were right with their ruling but it doesnt stop me feeling incredibly sorry for her. i cant imagine being in her shoes.

Couldnt she just have had her embroyos frozen without being fertilised?

didnt she have a contract though stating that he agreed to it.

so sad

 

[Helen]

Hi

I don't think she should be allowed to use those embryos without his consent, however desperately sad it is for her. There is so much legal documentation that has to be signed, dealt with and for which you have counselling for IVF that both would have known what the reality was in the event of them splitting up.

Egg freezing isn't as reliable as embryo freezing. In the situation she was in at the time, she wouldn't necessarily have thought that the relationship wouldn't survive and they would have taken the best option.

I do think it is pretty tactless for people with children to glibly say "why don't they adopt?". Adoption may be the next step for some childless couples, but there is some deep primeval need to be a mother, to carry your own child, to feel it kick, to give birth to it, to feed it. All the things that natural mothers take for granted and that with the best will in the world you don't get with adopted children. People who find the strength and love to be able to adopt are totally amazing people but it's not for everyone and it's not something you can just do because a natural child isn't an option.

Violet, that wasn't just aimed at you as lots of people make that mistake and I wanted to highlight something which causes a lot of hurt to infertile couples.

H

xx

 

[sarah113]

sorry but i feel completly different about this, i think she should be able to use them.