A bit of a moan (Sorry Long Post)

[babyroo]

Hi Ladies
Sorry to have a moan, it's just I really need to get some things off my chest.
I am just soooooooo tired, I'm really not sleeping well at all the pains in my legs when I'm in bed have now spread to my bum and the bottom of my back. I've tried loads off positions with pillows and moulding pillows but nothing seems to be working at all. I really don't want to have to go and see my doctor for some pain killers. There is one position where I don't feel as much pain which I came across by chance (I dozed off). If I prop myself up a bit like sitting but a touch lower I can get a bit of sleep like this, but I'm not sure If i'm allowed to sleep like this as I now you are not allowed to lay on your back in pregnancy. Any ideas?

I'm very emotional at the moment , I just feel like I can cry at a drop of a hat (is this normal?). I feel like I'm a bit on my own, my Mum is very involved with voluntary charity work in the community and thats all she ever talks about and does 24/7 .When either I go to my parents house or she comes to my house , there is people always ringing her and I just can't talk to her. I've asked her to turn her phone off for half an hour but she wont because 'it might be important'. Just makes me feel like family is last priority in her book. I don't want to keep moaning to hubby because I feel like when he's home from work he does'nt need someone bending his ear.
I think I'm just worried about being left completely on my own straight after the birth. Unfortunately it depends on when baby arrives, if baby arrives early , my hubby's parents are on holiday and some of the staff at hubby's work are taking holiday which means because he's in charge , he will have to keep popping into the office.

My brother and SIL have their detailed scan this afternoon, please see http://www.pregnancyforum.co.uk/forum/v ... highlight= for details. I'm hoping everything will be fine , fingers crossed.
Really Really sorry for the long post and moan.

 

[andreag]

Sorry your feeling so down - I know how you feel about moaning to OH - I feel like all our conversations start the same way - he asks how I'm feeling and I either say tired, sick, swollen,too hot or something else negative.

I would sleep sitting up if this is comfortable. I woke myself up choking last night with excess saliva, so I slept sitting up. I have also got a nursing chair which I can sleep in. The issue with laying on your back is the weight presing on your blood supply and organs, but I don't think this applies to being more upright as the weight is spread.

I think it is perfectly normal to feel emotional - and a good cry often makes you feel better, so don't worry about it.
There will be plenty of support available int he community through your midwife if you are feeling lonely and your husband has to go back to work. I would ask your midwife what is available locally.

Hang in there!
Best wishes
andrea

 

[Sherry]

Hey Hun
Dont worry, your not abnormal, its all your hormones running riot. I and I think every woman on here has felt the same at some point during their pregnancy more than once. Sleep for me is more or less non existant which makes me snappy and ratty and want to bawl my eyes out alot of the time.
Maybe your Mum doesnt realise how much you really do need to talk to her, if she has always been this way, nothing is really going to change with her. This site as I have found is great for venting EVERYTHING
There is always someone to give you that hug and words of encouragement, although I know it's not the same as having someone face to face, it does seem to help having someone here who is going through it too.
Like you I am worried about being on my own once LO is born as I have no family who live in the same town, so I am hoping to find a local mother and baby group. You should maybe look into that too.
Hope you feel better soon and if you want to cry then go for it. It helps to get it out.

 

[Nicola]

I'm sorry your not sleeping well, I've been through stages of that, some nights I just ended up getting up and writing an email or something before going back to bed. I can't stand laying there with back ache and getting fidgity etc! It does pass but it tends to come back. Do you have a body pillow or wedge you could try sleeping with or prop yourself up with pillows etc (as I do) instead of investing in a special cushion. As for the family thing I think that's hard, LO is the whole world to us just now and although others tend to be looking forward to his/her arrival etc it's not their whole world or their entire world just now (as it is ours) and that can kinda be hard. Oh and the emotional thing...completely normal, the slightest thing some days can really set me off into big sobbing tears, other times I'm fine, grumpy, irritable etc...poor husband but at least were getting to the end of T3 now!! xx

 

[topbird]

Oh honey

I think people can get a bit over obsessed with sleeping positions! One of my mum's friends had a crippling back condition when she was pregnant and spent the last 3 months of her pregnancy lying on her back, on doctor's orders. Her child (in his 30's now) was totally fine and she had no related complications!

Laying slightly propped up in bed, if it is comfortable for you and it means you can get some sleep is not the end of the world I am sure sounds like your emotional need for sleep whould take priority for a night at least!?

but if you are in that much pain, you really should get some help from your GP, either painkillers or physio or something!

As for your mum..... I can completely relate to this. My mum and dad are both retired but are the kind of people that have so much going on I have to almost make an appointment to see them. When my sister had her baby (3 years ago) she asked if they could commit to looking after her one day a MONTH and they wouldn't give her a commitment in case something else came up and they had to cancel her! They only come to see us if they have another reason to come into town, my mum's idea of a quality phone call is hollering down her mobile at me on her way to do something else.

Sounds like you have tried... but can you not sit your mum down and tell her how you feel, or get some one else to? I was so upset about my mum's complete lack of interest in my pregnancy I actually got my sister to talk to her for me. She had not realised the effect of her actions and has been a lot better recently.

I am sure once the baby comes you won't be on your own. My mum said that she is struggling to get excited about the baby and probably won't till it is here, but it is not that she doesn't care, it is she is trying to stay a bit detached and not build expectation or get too excited herself as she wants to be strong for us if something goes wrong. (I have a low lying placenta, so potential placenta previa etc...)


sorry - equally long post - hope I have helped

 

[mrs_tommo22]

Im sorry to hear about your problems!

Its your hormones runnig riot and when people annoy you it make them worse then ever! Why dont you just say to your mum that your feeling neglected by her and you could do with her support at a time like this, and as for your OH there there to be moaned at and take the strain.Its not easy growing babies, thats why they cant do it!

Im personally not having any sleeping problems yet as such, but i find it comfy laying down low in bed on my side with my legs cxurled up.

I hope you start to feel better soon hun and dont worry about your hormones, they turn you into a crazy thing at times!

 

[*saulino*]

Hi

aww hun sorry your having such a rough time i know alot of us can relate to this! I hope your mom comes around soon it would be nice for you to have her supprt and have an ear to listen to you .
I am the same way OH comes home asks how my day went and i moan how sore i am ect ect .
Sleep i am the same way i could lay down at 10 nto fall asleep till 1 then wake up and have ot pee and do it all over again just think your pregnancy will be over with soon, so alot of the pain will be over with and you will have your LO
Were always here if you need a rant
Katrina

 

[babyroo]

Thanks everyone for your posts, you've made me feel much better.

Just heard from my Brother that their scan went well and baby is showing no signs of spina bifida. . I'm so relieved.

 

[topbird]

That is great news!

Hope you managed to get some rest!

 

[mrs_tommo22]

Aww great news for them, now you need to get back on track, and get some well earned kip

 

[*saulino*]

Hi

Thats great news hun
Katrina

 

[Sabrina]

I'm sorry to read you are feeling so uncomfortable in bed. I am like that more so these days. I was wondering though if you've been checked over for SPD? There's a post here about it (a sticky I think) which gives more info. But it could be you have that condition which is actually making things worse than just normal "pregnancy aches and pains". Go to see your GP and see if they can refer you to a physio for assessment. It would be worth it to get through the last 10 weeks of pregnancy being more comfortable.

I'm glad to read your brother's baby is fine. That is a big relief to everyone I'm sure. Now they can enjoy their pregnancy without worries.

To be honest I think your mum should remember "charity begins at home" and spend a little more time listening to you rather than her voluntary work. Maybe you need to tell her clearly how sidelined you feel.

Big hugs