5 months pregnant and OH cheated on me </3

[Nicole1993]

But at the same time... I love what we had and dont want to throw all that away and I want my little family together </3 xx

 

[leesey]

It's still fresh yet, just keep doing what you're doing and work through your feelings. No one can expect you to make such a huge decision so soon after, it could take months before you know what you're going to do. It could even get to the stage where you have to live apart for a while and get back to basics of building your relationship back from the foundations until you can be fully comfortable with him again. There's no shame in taking the relationship slowly instead of jumping right back into it.

I really hope you feel better about it all eventually, just don't rush yourself xx

 

[BellaRiven]

It took me and Hubby a good long while to get back to where we were when we were happy at least a year, take things slow and in your own time and eventually all will work out xx

 

[Nicole1993]

It took me and Hubby a good long while to get back to where we were when we were happy at least a year, take things slow and in your own time and eventually all will work out xx

Did your OH cheat too huni? How did you get over it if he did!? xxx

 

[BellaRiven]

I'll probably be thought of less kindly on here but it was the other way round for us and it was me who had an affair, and it is not something I would EVER do again, I nearly lost everything including my sanity, I was so stupid, there were many reasons that it occurred and this is something me and hubby have worked through, we talk more now than we did, there were sexual issues and these have been sorted (obviously ) but as I say it has taken us a good long while to get to this stage and a lot of work.

It took me ages to get his trust back and 3 years down the line I think were there, we were there at least 2 years after, but that shows how long it can take but each couple is different.

I do still know how you feel I have been cheated on previously by ex hubby, but again there were lots of physically abusing issues that neither of us could agree to work on so that ended but it hurt.

I love my husband with everything I am and everything that I have and I am the LUCKIEST woman on earth to have him and this is something I have realised over the years.

It depends how hard you want to fight to keep what you have I guess with me and hubby we wanted to fight both of us wanted to fight and that makes all the difference

Hope this has helped and you don't think too badly of me for it.

xx

 

[Nicole1993]

No huni thankyou for tellin me!! I dont believe its right but at least you'r admitting there was a problem and this is why it occured, meaning your OH and you had somethin to work on - my OH told me it was a stupid drunken mistake and he doesnt know why e done it as e was "completely happy" with our relationship :S I would rather him tell me he was bored of our sex life or something then that way we would have something to work on yano; but I will just always think now that if there was no reason then theres no reason for it not to happen again! And that scares the cr@p out of me!

Glad to hear you's worked through your issues huni and hats off to you for trying to make it work for so long with lack of trust. It has bound to have been hard. I know Con wants to try to make it work, but Im not if I am as I honestly dont think Il ever be able to get over this :/.... And as you said, we both have to want to make it work more than anything. xxx

 

[Rachel1509]

Sorry to say it, but I honestly believe that once the trust is broken, you can't get it back.
You can attempt to mend it but it never truly gets back to what you had before.

 

[cosmicgirl]

Sorry to say it, but I honestly believe that once the trust is broken, you can't get it back.
You can attempt to mend it but it never truly gets back to what you had before.

I agree, trust takes a lifetime to build and a second to lose.
You can learn to live with what has happened but it's never as it was and the trust has gone. You can start to build the trust but believe me, it's never the same xx

 

[Nicole1993]

Thankyou's !! I do honestly agree with you's that we will never be the same, especially in the trust department - I may start to trust him a bit but I will never truly trust him, he ruined that privilege!! And its me who will suffer for his stupid mistake The fact I am so self-conscious about myself since it happened definately wont help the trust-rebuilding!! And a baby comin along, joined with probably strectch marks flab and the works wont do my confidence any favours and Il trust him even less!!! I just wish I didnt love him so bl00dy much and hadnt wasted near 3 years </3!!

 

[Babybushie28]

Didn't want to read and run so just little comment,

Hugs to you Nicole, I can only imagine how hard it must be when the most exciting time of your life is clouded by his cheating, I agree with the ladies that it defo means something that he confessed straight away and obviously feels really bad.

Your relationship will take a long time to back to 'normal' if you want to take him back so you shouldn't expect to feel that love again for him straight away it'll happen in time when you are ready, just make sure he understands that too so he's also taking it slowly.

Try not to think 'how can I live my life not trusting you' because you don't have to make that decision now, time will tell, take each day as it comes and you'll get to a point where you can move on from what happened and rebuild the trust or decide the trust has defo gone and walk away.

Hugs again

BB xxxx

 

[BellaRiven]

To be honest, everyone will have their own opinions about this it's a sensitive subject to a lot of people.

Only you can make your own mind up, my main advice will be take your time, try not to let other people influence you or your feelings too much, ultimately it is about what you want.

xx

 

[furbaby]

I've always said if hubby had a one night stand I'd probably try to work through it but an affair means it's over, but every single person will feel differently and I'm not speaking from experience (fx it stays that way) I think trust can eventually be earned back but at the same time if they say they're staying late at work I recon you might feel your heart tug a little or doubt may creep in- maybe over the years that disappears I guess it depends on the kind of person you are for me I tend to hold on to things (it's a flaw!)

Whatever you decide make sure it's the right decision for you as the right decision for you will undoubtably be the right one for you little baby too. I always think women/ men who stay in a relationship purely because of a child will end up resenting each other or worse still the child

Lots of love being sent out and I hope you find happiness whatever you decide xxx

 

[chantilly]

how are things now sweetie ...have you found in your heart what you want to do ?...he would need to earn your trust allover again but it is doable and ok maybe he wont earn it fully but in fairness you wont trust easily again who ever your with.

i really do hope you manage to find whats right for you and that you feel happiness again soon

 

[Loula]

What an ass to do that to you when your carrying his baby, I do sympathise with you although i canot speak from exeprience. When i was with my other half i suspected he was cheating and he was and now his little girl is due in a few weeks with his gf.
Once the trust has gone its hard to get back unless you bioth truly want to fight for it xxxx

 

[Amzy]

I wudnt take him back once trust as bin broken i think thats the end it will always bin in your head how can u sleep with him again knowing his c*ck had bin in sum1 else he has humiliated u in front of his friends i think if a man really loves u they wud say no, i love my boyfriend and thers noway i wud cheat on him if he did it 2 me it wud make it clear he didnt love me and had no respect for me respect and trust is the most important thing in a relationship, also please dont sleep with him untill he gets checked out you dont know what that sl*ts got! Sorry about this but ur OH should know better and you deserve better and alot more respect. x