Hello, Im new here and really need some advice. Im 34 and this is my third pregnancy, the other two ended in miscarrige but this time it seems to be going well and I am now 24 weeks. The problems stem mostly from my relationship with my husband, we have been together 8 and a half years, married 3 and a half years. We had a lot of problems from early on due to him having several affairs one of which was with his ex, she left him but he continued to be obsessed with her. he was faithful for about 3 years but last august started seeing a 17 year old girl who I worked with, I love my husband very much so I put up with it as best as I could and was supportive while this girl messed him about (she was seeing at least 3 other men including a married cousin). During this time he told me he had fallen in love with me for the first time and wanted to be with me but wanted to see her too, I hadnt known he hadnt been in love with me before but he said he couldnt see past his ex. I fell pregnant in September it was unplanned but I was glad as I have always wanted to be a mum. He went nuts and put a lot of pressure on me to have an abortion, I agreed but couldnt go through with it and was ready to leave and raise my child alone I said he didnt have to be named as father if he didnt want but he said he did. His affair was sort of petering out at the end of December as she would ignore him for weeks then play mind games, I finally said I couldnt take any more (she almost cost him his job among other things) and was going to leave, but he begged me to stay on several occasions and said he would finish with her. He is still obsessed with both her and his ex saying he is in love with all three of us, but I am his best bet for happiness. He says he dreads the birth of the baby but that he loves her, he doesnt like me to talk about her or the pregnancy and acts as if I can run around after him like I always have. He likes young skinny women (he is 32) and hasnt initiated sex with me since I started to show and went from a slim 8stone 3 to 8stone 13, he says if he initiates sex I always refuse which is untrue. Since we met he has driven off all my friends with his insecurity (he would get cross and moody if I went out without him, and they hated how I was treated) spent every penny I had and driven me into debt buying things on credit cards that were in my name and then pretending it wasnt his problem when the bills came. We are now in debt managment (they have been great) but he is always wanting me to give him money I dont have. I work part time as a cleaner in two jobs, I cant find more work at the moment as there are few jobs here, I was a cafe supervisor last year as well as 3 cleaning jobs working 7 days a week 14 hours a day, I traveled in with him as the cafe was at his company (he is chief engineer) and was giving him£100 petrol money a week as well as paying all the utility bills, my cards, buying all the food as well as getting all the millions of things he seems to want. I cant go back as he has a motorbike now and I cant ride pillion as it is on a CBT only and I was humiliated there last year by his affair and she will be back this year. I am still paying the utilities and food and pet food and my travel expences (which are steep living in a rural area it costs £4.10 a day to get to work)and getting demands for money every week. He acts like we are flatmates reguarding money and not a married couple. I have to do everything around the house while he sits around complaining that the house we have on a mortgage is to small (he chose it) that the food is crap and how if I do more he might feel motivated to do some of the many diy jobs that need doing (we have had no bathroom for 2 years he started then lost interest) I am broke and dont know what to do, He said it was my fault and I should have gone back to the cafe (I cant get there) he says he is broke but seems able to buy junk when he wants it. I am a wreck, I dont want to leave my home and my pets, Im exausted all the time, I have no one to talk to, I am so depressed and worried and have no confidence at all. My baby and my animals are all that keeps me going, I love my husband so much but he has hurt me and keeps hurting me, I want our daughter to have a father but dont know if he will treat her with the same contempt. I have tried talking again and again but he puts it all on me or starts on about how in love he is with these girls but how he is suffering coz he gave them up for me. What can I do, What should I do? am i stupid am I to blame?