3 year old behavior

[Baby2sky]

Hi all I have posted about my daughter's behaviour before but just looking for some more advice.

Sometimes she is extremely loving, almost over the top in a way, kissing us all over, hugging us for AGES, telling us she loves us so much and that we are best friends... But a lot of the time her behaviour concerns us. She is in her own world a lot, and can be extremely angry and aggressive. She is very intelligent but if I ask her why she is screaming (she just screams out of the blue for no reason I can see) she cant answer me or just says "nothing to worry about ". She says that over everything I ask her. She often tells me she likes angry and naughty people. She tells me she likes it when I shout.

Honestly her behaviour is SO draining. I expected some degree of this from a 2/3 year old but she is honestly so different from her peers. I question everything I do with her. I can't ignore some behaviour as she is quite violent... Especially to me and her baby brother. Just this morning she was trying to poke him in his eyes and telling him she is going to take him into the woods and leave him there. It's not because of him tho as she has been this way for the whole of this year.

Grandparents Etc all say that she is extremely difficult too. Im just at a loss with her and feeling like we are both (her and me) spending our days sad and upset. Any advice ?

 

[Onedaysoon25]

Hi, i don't have any advice unfortunately as my daughter is only 2. I just wanted to say i that I wouldn't beat yourself up about it. Parenting is hard and it's draining worrying about their behaviour. She sounds like she has a very big personality and is testing what her boundaries are with you. Maybe worth speaking to the health visitors for some advice or to put your mind at rest that the behaviour will pass. Good luck x

 

[can]

Oh dear first of all big hugs to you I can imagine it is very draining specially with a baby to look after. I don't have that much advice but from what you describe maybe a trip to the health visitor or doctors just to ask for there advice. I'm sure it's just her experimenting with how far she can push things but certainly need a eye kept on for all of your piece of mind. Remember you are doing a great job and make sure you get some help from friends and family. I have a 22 mo th old and a 4 mo th old and know how hard it is to have your hands full!

 

[Rooster30]

No advice, but plenty of sympathy as my 3 year old is draining the life out of me at the moment and I just feel sad and tired all day long. There are times when he's great but just feels like I'm always on edge waiting for the next mysterious thing to go wrong

I love him, I really do, but I barely feel like myself anymore.

 

[tinselcat]

Hi,

I don't think anyone on the forum can write a short/long reply that will act as a magic wand, nor even direct you to a useful blog article etc.

However there are plenty of different books out there on strategies to deal with "sensitive/intense" children and difficult behaviours and I downloaded a whole bunch of parenting books onto my kindle. There are different parenting styles (e.g. authoritarian vs positive), I prefer the positive approach myself.

The strategies in the following can apparently be used from the age of 3 upwards.

I would strongly recommend both the books:

- Calmer, Easier, Happier Parenting - Noel Janis-Norton - http://www.amazon.co.uk/Calmer-Easier-Happier-Parenting-Revolutionary/dp/144472990X/
- Playful Parenting - Lawrence J Cohen - http://www.amazon.co.uk/Playful-Parenting-Lawrence-J-Cohen/dp/0345442865/

You can preview some of the material of these on amazon for free, so why not have a look & see if it resonates? (once you get past the pre-amble)

 

[Baby2sky]

Oh wow thanks so much for all replies ladies xxx

 

[Starlight1986]

I would speak to the health visitor - I know from a friends experience that she wasn't coping with her little boy (not saying your not coping) and she contacted the health visitor who put her in touch with more help.

His behaviour at 5 years old can still be difficult but she knows how to deal with it and says she feels much calmer and more prepared on how to handle different situations x

 

[Baby2sky]

Im really not coping. We had the dr today for babys injections and whilst waiting there she punched me in the face, scratched babys head, told me shes going to leave me, she hates me and wants me to leave her alone. Im so sad and down and embarrassed. There were plenty of children her age there and not one behaved this way, everyone keeps telling me its normal but its not.

Does it sound like autism? I'm worried as she just cant seem to control this anger she has.

 

[Starlight1986]

Awwww I think you should phone your health visitor just now and see if you can have a chat with her - I know it will make you feel better.

I have no idea about the autism or whether she just needs very clear strict boundaries but either way you need help and im sure they will give you it x