2 miscarriages in 2 cycles

[baby.3]

Glad to see you back sjf You've been missed and i've often wondered how you where doing. I hope your sister and step-mum are right in their predictions. Sending you lots of sticky baby dust xx

 

[EmmaN27]

Great to see you back

Glad you've been able to talk to people about what's happened, that must feel like a huge weight has been lifted and you can just be how you want to be without hiding your feelings.

It does sound like you are super fertile, just waiting for your sticky bean, really hope it happens quickly for you! x

 

[Sjf0709]

Thanks ladies. Done some research about unfussy uteruses, hope I don’t have one of those - I don’t know how I’d cope with another MC hopefully the next time we get our BFP it’s super sticky and a good egg.

Yesterday I saw a family member who was 18 weeks pregnant and I couldn’t help but be super jealous. She has a lovely bump and everyone was fussing over her. I couldn’t help but think that I should have been only 3 weeks behind her and 15 weeks pregnant with our first pregnancy I can’t wait for our time to come x

 

[EmmaN27]

Your time will come and it will be even that bit more special because of what you've been through x

 

[Sjf0709]

CD 30

Still waiting for AF to arrive. It was a 40 day cycle last time after my MC so I’m thinking it might be this time too as AF hasn’t come yet although I’ve been craving sweet stuff which is usually a sign it is on its way and I can’t wait for it to come too! My hubby won’t come near me this month for fear of getting me pregnant when we said we would give my body a month’s break.

I cried tonight for the first time in weeks. Ive got so much going on at the moment. I’m behind and stressed at work but also my Nanna who has Alzheimer’s has been due to pass away since Friday. I’ve been bedside every moment possible but she’s a fighter! We are hoping she passes away shortly so she isn’t suffering anymore... it’s kind of taken my mind off everything which has been good but then I realised tonight it’s pregnancy and infant loss awareness month and I broke down... I think it’s a build up of everything though.

My uncle is a bit psychic and I’ve not seen him in years due to a family fall out but with my Nanna being ill have seen him a lot over the past few days. A couple of nights ago he hugged me and then breathed in and said... ‘just relax, I know it’s not happened yet but it will do. You just need to relax!’ How strange is that?!? There’s no way anyone could have told him about my MCs because of how distant he has been from the family but he definitely knew and sensed it. Next cycle I am going to relax, no temping, no charting and no OPKs and then fx we will have ourselves a healthy sticky bean! X

 

[Sjf0709]

CD1

Cycle Day 1 has FINALLY arrived! I was so happy today to see AF come!! This means we can actively TTC again now after AF gets out of the way.

As I’ve been advised, I’m going to try to relax this cycle. No BBT, no OPKS and (hopefully) no symptom spotting. I’ll also try to limit my rummaging around for CM haha but that will be my only indicator for ovulation so I hope my hubby is ready for me to keep jumping him haha. Practice makes perfect don’t they say

Anyway... as I am moving onto Cycle 5 I am going to leave this pregnancy loss journal here unless I feel the need to vent or cry or remember... thanks for following me and helping me with this journey. X

 

[chattychar1990]

Yayyyy come back to us on TTC xx

 

[Sjf0709]

Just had to come on here to vent for a minute. Whilst I love the Royals etc, I think it’s highly insensitive of them to announce their pregnancy to the world on International Pregnancy Loss & Infant Loss Awareness day. I’m very happy for them don’t get me wrong but I think the timing of the announcement could have been better...

 

[pink79]

Just had to come on here to vent for a minute. Whilst I love the Royals etc, I think it’s highly insensitive of them to announce their pregnancy to the world on International Pregnancy Loss & Infant Loss Awareness day. I’m very happy for them don’t get me wrong but I think the timing of the announcement could have been better...

Came on here for exactly the same reason, I was wondering if I was feeling a bit oversensitive given that I had a tfmr one week ago today. I am happy for them but really think today was not the day for an announcement

 

[Sjf0709]

I’m glad it’s not just me Pink! Told my hubby and he said ‘other people are allowed to get pregnant you know’. I obviously know this and I’m super happy for them. I just think with their team of ‘advisors’ someone would have advised them not to announce it today. It’s just insensitive I think... x

 

[Sjf0709]

Just had to come on here to vent for a minute. Whilst I love the Royals etc, I think it’s highly insensitive of them to announce their pregnancy to the world on International Pregnancy Loss & Infant Loss Awareness day. I’m very happy for them don’t get me wrong but I think the timing of the announcement could have been better...

Came on here for exactly the same reason, I was wondering if I was feeling a bit oversensitive given that I had a tfmr one week ago today. I am happy for them but really think today was not the day for an announcement

Ps I hope you’re holding up ok Pink? Always here if you need a chat x

 

[pink79]

Just had to come on here to vent for a minute. Whilst I love the Royals etc, I think it’s highly insensitive of them to announce their pregnancy to the world on International Pregnancy Loss & Infant Loss Awareness day. I’m very happy for them don’t get me wrong but I think the timing of the announcement could have been better...

Came on here for exactly the same reason, I was wondering if I was feeling a bit oversensitive given that I had a tfmr one week ago today. I am happy for them but really think today was not the day for an announcement

Ps I hope you’re holding up ok Pink? Always here if you need a chat x

It’s still such early days, physically i'm ok but emotionally i'm a bit of a mess, i'm counting down until I can TTC again, it won't replace the baby I have lost but I feel it would help the healing. We also need to arrange a funeral service which I think will help

 

[Sjf0709]

Aw so sorry Pink. How far gone were you? I know after my MC the only thing that got me through was the thought of being pregnant again. Not to forget the one I’ve lost but to give me hope and a new focus. Nothing can prepare you for this loss and the emotional side just takes time... *hugs*

 

[pink79]

I was 14 weeks, they were expecting me to miscarry naturally but it didn't happen and I couldn't just wait for the inevitable. We found out through the CVS test that I was carrying a boy and we have named him kayden which means 'battle' as he was obviously putting up a fight to make it as far as he did. Because I was into the second trimester the hospital will organise a private funeral for us which could take up to 16 weeks or we could organise something ourselves which I think is what we are going to do as I don't want to wait that long for some sort of closure

 

[night owl]

Just had to come on here to vent for a minute. Whilst I love the Royals etc, I think it’s highly insensitive of them to announce their pregnancy to the world on International Pregnancy Loss & Infant Loss Awareness day. I’m very happy for them don’t get me wrong but I think the timing of the announcement could have been better...

I totally agree with this too, very insensitive, I was also surprised to hear that she told the rest of the royal family at Eugenies wedding, I know it may have been the easiest thing to do to explain not drinking wine etc but she could have got round that, you don’t announce your pregnancy at someone’s wedding! And going public today was a poor choice, why not just wait until tomorrow x

 

[night owl]

I was 14 weeks, they were expecting me to miscarry naturally but it didn't happen and I couldn't just wait for the inevitable. We found out through the CVS test that I was carrying a boy and we have named him kayden which means 'battle' as he was obviously putting up a fight to make it as far as he did. Because I was into the second trimester the hospital will organise a private funeral for us which could take up to 16 weeks or we could organise something ourselves which I think is what we are going to do as I don't want to wait that long for some sort of closure

Lovely choice of name pink, I wish you well in your recovery and sending you lots of positive vibes for your next pregnancy xx

 

[Sjf0709]

For our two angels

#WaveOfLight2018

 

[Sjf0709]

Aw yes Pink is arrange the funeral so you can get some closure. Good luck with your TTC journey and next pregnancy xx

 

[Sjf0709]

The song ‘Lost Without You’ really gets to me... heard it when I was miscarrying and now it reminds me of my little angels

Standin' on the platform
Watching you go
It's like no other pain
I've ever known
To love someone so much
To have no control
You said, "I wanna see the world"
And I said, "Go"

But I think I'm lost without you
I just feel crushed without you
I've been strong for so long
That I never thought how much I needed you
I think I'm lost without you

Strangers rushin' past
Just tryna get home
But you were the only
Safehaven that I've known
Hits me at full speed
Feel like I can't breathe
And nobody knows
This pain inside me
My world is crumbling
I should never have
Let you go

I think I'm lost without you
I think I'm lost, lost, lost
Ooh-way, ooh-way, ooh-way, ooh, ooh
I think I'm lost without you, you
I just feel crushed without you
'Cause I've been strong for so long
That I never thought how much I love you

Standin' on the platform
Watching you go
You said, "I wanna see the world"
And I said “Go”

 

[miamia]

I am sorry to know your story? Have you considered doing additional tests such as karyotyping and/or undergoing IVF PGS NGS?