I've only just seen this post and I am so sorry for you. Please don't blame yourself, its not your fault, i've done it myself in the past and i hate that people have to go through this. It hard to know what to say because the cliches and it will happen didn't help me at the time, although i can see now that i worried too much and blamed myself too much. I hope your gp can reassure you and help you, i'm thinking of you x