10 Weeks too early to spread the news?

[peanut1982]

Hi folks,
We had our first scan on Friday and they've dated my pregnancy at about 9 weeks. This Friday we have a wedding that all OH's family will be at. We had planned to tell them then as going by my last period we'd have been about 13 weeks, but now we'll only be 10 I'm not sure if it's maybe still a little early to be making the news completely public just yet!
Can't decide! Help!

 

[Jade&Evie]

DO NOT ANNOUNCE IT AT SOMEONE ELSE'S WEDDING!!!

you will be forever remembered as the one's who upstaged their special day!

x

 

[Happybunny]

Hmm, if it was your own wedding maybe, but if not, bumpyride has a point.

It is entirely up to you when you tell people. I told people at 10 weeks and then m/c (not that this will happen to you especially since you've had a good scan), but I waited until 12 weeks with this pregnancy.

 

[peanut1982]

Thanks folks, we weren't planning on announcing it big style at the bash, don't worry! We're not even planning on telling the bride and groom, just thought we might tell the close relatives we're sitting with (His gran is the main person we're thinking of). Guess we should really wait til after 12 weeks like you say, although she'll probably sus anyway when she see's I'm not drinking!

 

[Sherlock]

I agree with the other ladies, it'd be unfair to upstage the couple on their big day. Not a good idea If I were the bride, while happy for you, I'd be peed off I think.

I'd wait and tell people sometime afterwards instead.

I personally waited to tell most people after our 12 week scan. But we told a few close family members and a couple of friends before this. Just I had no desire to tell every Tom Dick and Harry before 12 weeks as I decided that if something were to go wrong I'd not really want to then have to tell them the bad news. So waited it out.

 

[Chrissy1]

I agree....you can't announce it at someone else's wedding!

I was 10 weeks last week (quater of the way there ) and apart from the masses at work we've pretty much told everyone already

I think if you've had a scan after 8 weeks and all is ok then apparently your chances of m/c fall to about 2%. they fall to less than 1% if all is still ok at 12 weeks but I've taken my chances

 

[abcd1234]

By 10 weeks i think most people knew i was pregnant, I didnt choose to tell them but i was very bloated and that, along with my baby daddy going from one minute being besotted to the next totally ignoring me they twigged something was up!!
I did want to wait until after i'd had a scan and made sure everything was ok but i didnt get that chance.

 

[sandee]

Agreed about not telling the good news at the wedding...maybe a few days after...

I do not think any time is too soon. If all goes well with the pregnancy than great, but if there is that chance of m/c at least you will have support and love and understanding from those who knew early...jmo

 

[nori]

Hiya,

I have to agree with the others and say to hold off until after the wedding.. trust me the news wont stay with the close family and will end up with the bride finding out!

I personally have been totally useless at keeping the pregnancy quiet until the scan and have told a fair few people. With all my health issues (crohns) i was convinced i should keep it quiet but then thought what the hell. If god forbid anything goes wrong then i will need my close friends and families support anyway as its not something id keep to myself. I find talking about problems far easier to deal with.

Good luck with whatever you decide and have fun sharing your news!

Claire x

 

[lea m]

I have told a lot of my close family and friends already!
But I havent told my children and will probably leave that until 12 weeks! They are too young to understand if something goes wrong!
Other than that, I couldnt hide it! People would notice me not drinking etc and I have been feeling sick constantly! They would have guessed! haha

 

[kalia]

We were in a similar situation - 12 weeks exactly was the date of OH's best friend's wedding and we didn't have our scan until the Monday after.

We decided to announce the week before. That way I didn't have to try to hide it at the wedding. I'm really glad we did that as it may have been obvious to some people - I wasn't drinking, (no wine with meal, no champagne toast) the starter was pate so I asked the hotel if it was possible to have something else as I was pregnant, I was exhausted and people were understanding. Because all our friends knew (neither of us had family there) we didn't have to lie to anyone. I'm not a very good liar so anyone asking (and people do ask if you don't drink ) could have realised.

Don't announce at their wedding. That would be a horrible thing to do, unless the bride and groom already know and have said that it's OK. I know you are only thinking of telling a few people but news spreads very fast. Especially at a family gathering. An aunt announced her engagement at my cousins christening and everyone was annoyed at her for it. If it were me, I'd announce now. Straight away. And make sure everyone who will be at the wedding finds out today or tomorrow. You've had a scan and everything is fine. But it's a personal decision and if you feel it's too early to announce just wait until after the wedding and do it when you are ready.

 

[peanut1982]

Thanks folks, and Kalia we've gone with similar idea to you. We're only going to the dance in the evening but have decided to go tell his Gran today so we won't have to hide it on Friday. She'll twig with me not drinking and probably notice how bloated I am round the middle anyway so will save the news coming out at the do itself.
Thanks for your advice folks,
P