Would EVERYBODY be kind enough to read please...thankyou

[moomoo192]

hi all

Firstly thanks for reading

I have just answered a post on this forum about being stressed with ttc and thought it would be good to post my answer in a new subject.

If anyone agrees with what i've said please add your comments so it will give all these 'stressed' ttc'ers some hope and help, (remember we were there once too, feeling the despair they are feeling)

Right, here's my story

1st baby we were ttc for 13 months, I went to doc she did the paperwork to refer me for test etc well that was it, i resigned myself to the fact something was wrong and i was NEVER going to have kids, 3-4 weeks later BFP...

2nd baby thought it was going to take ages to concieve again so started trying 6 months after dd1 was born, again thinking nothing was going to happen..BFP straight away!

3rd baby thought it was going to happen quickly, tried for 12 months again, got tests from doctors who said it looked like i wasn't ovulationg, again was going to refer me to chlomid and because i thought i wasn't ovulating i must have relaxed again and wham BFP

Came off pill in on feb 4th this year knowing it was going to take ages again, wham BFP staright away

do you see the pattern girls??? I know its harder than anything in the world to think of anything else than a baby 24/7 at this stage but it sure doesn't help ttc. You need to relax. relax. relax

I was on another board when i was ttc 3 and was friends with a girl who had pcos and had been trying for ages, i told her to resign herself to the fact she was NEVER going to get pregnant, she just had to make it sink in and stop thinking about ttc, not even plan BD, do it when you feel like it you gotta tell yourself you won't catch anyway so whats the point in trying KWIM.. she got herself a BFP the following cycle. I've just heard from her and she was saying they DTD 'once' unprotected around O time and she's just got her BFP so there ya go, once in a cycle!!!

The months i caught we never DTD that often anyway, neither of us have a very high sex drive but as soon as i 'catch', my sex drive (what i do have) runs for miles

I hope this gives you girls something positive to hold onto, i know most of you will be thinking you'll never get the baby you want so you're halfway there, the other half is really letting go and believing this

buckets and buckets of babydust to you all, you'll get your BFP's soon, don't you fret

 

[skairdykat]

Copied and pasted my reply from other thread (couldn't be arsed re-typing it )

I agree totally with moomoo192. I fell with both my boys as soon as I relaxed about it. I honestly think all this temping, charting and testing every single month even b4 AF is due does more harm than good. I joined FF last week then thought 'why?' I couldn't be doing with taking my temp every morning b4 I get up. It'd do my head in and OH's no doubt. Makes it more like a medical procedure than anything and takes all the fun out of it. I know thats easy for me to say as I've only been off the pill since Jan but I really do think theres something to the relaxed approach.
And I know I'm a bit stressed at the minute but thats just because the damn witch is teasing me LOL.

Lot's of baby dust too all....................

 

[Misslarue]

Me too: Copied and pasted my reply from other thread (couldn't be arsed re-typing it

The above advice definately applied to me.
Me and my OH tried for nearly 2 and a half years before I got pregnant. Although I was convinced there was something wrong I never got the courage to go to the doctor. I guess I didn't want to deal with what I might be told. I could never imagine what it would feel like to be pregnant and thought I never would be. I had basically given up hope of conceiving naturally................then I got pregnant. I had even done an early test and got a BFN so when a week later I did another, I could not believe I finally got a BFP.

 

[liviray]

Thankyou heaps for the advice.
I've chilled out about it a bit for a while, and am hoping that the less stress thing works...
We are however renovating an old cottage........a different kind of stress!

 

[M&Ms]

I seem to have some magic words when it comes to conception. With my daughter I had the most horrendous AF on the 25th August, and me and my then DH said 'Oh it wouldn't be so bad if I got pregnant now' I conceived on 7th September!

This time round, bf and I decided to try for a baby as 'Oh it wouldn't be so bad if I got pregnant now' I had my coil removed 14th September and it took a little longer this time, round about 3 weeks for me to conceive

So try saying to your other half 'Oh it wouldn't be so bad if I got pregnant now' and see if that works

 

[Snuggle]

I absolutely agree about relaxing. I stressed out every month, calculating ovulation, temping, imagining symptoms only to get AF after AF each month. Before Xmas I resigned myself to the fact it was just going to happen when it happened and stopped temping or working out ovualtion and just enjoyed DH when the mood took me rather than when we HAD to and got my BFP in that cycle
Baby dust to each and every one of you TTC

Good post moomoo

 

[glitzyglamgirl]

That is really good advice, and I think we all know deep down that its true......if only it was that easy to relax about it when its so badly wanted!

You have made me think though, I think I'll get these progesterone tests out the way and stop charting, stop temping, stop trying, just "not prevent" and see what happens. But ive been trying for 16 friggin months now so its not an easy thing to try and convince myself it doesnt matter

I will try though, thanks for the advice xx

 

[susie]

i am trying to relax about ttc now and even stopped temping this month until just a couple of days ago, i was told that we will need ivf and since then i am resigned to just wait a few months for this to happen, so for the next couple of months we are just going to enjoy each other and bed when we want to and not when we dont, we will go on holiday in may and start the ivf process straight after, but you never know it may happen before we have been ttc since 04

 

[sparky]

after trying for only two months we've switched to the non prevention method and are gettign on with our lives, we're much happier, both our sex drives have increased and generally we're a bit more chilled...so hopefully that will all do us good!

 

[budge]

ive read it

 

[cloud9]

we took 4 years to concieve...I always had the feeling I couldn't concieve naturally...We actually had one cycle of IUI then the next month we had the inital scans but they wouldn't proceed with the treatment as they were waiting for a letter from another doc re another health prob.so we bd'ed twice that month, we were told ovulation would likely take place over the weekend so we bd'ed on the Friday and sunday.I the just was waiting for af so we could continue the treatment but low and behold it happened naturally.

It wasn't till I concieved i realised how unromantic and technical sex had got.

my worry when i read the posts on ttc is how many pg tests you guys do...I think seeing that negative strip frquently each month has got to bring you down...my advice would be try and continue your life as you would if you weren't trying to concieve as even if it doesn't happen for months you still have something to feel positive about and stop testing till after your af is due.

wishing you all though the best of luck

 

[Mildly]

I'm new at this TTC game and me and OH have decided to take a relaxed approach to it. We are just non-preventing although I think he was disappointed that we didn't conceive this month (our first month trying) I am quite happy for this to take a while but it would be nice if it happened within the year. I think OH is feeling more pressure than I am, two of his closest friends have announced they are expecting with their girlfriends. I think his biological clock is ticking too, he's 38 (I am 10 yrs younger). My sister has been trying for about four years and has had no luck. There is nothing medically wrong with her or her husband and she has had 2 out of 3 of her IVF chances fail. Sometimes I wonder if this infertility is genetic and maybe that's why I am not really getting my hopes up too much.

 

[mellowbird]

Hi.i ahe read all the threads aboaut TTC and i cannot imagine what it must be like to try to concieve. I have 8 wonderful kids and i am carrying number nine.. .I have never had a problem concieving..but then i have never tried...If i fall pg then,nice one.....I love being pregnant and i wish all those TTC the best of luck.. ..justine

 

[breezee1984]

thanks so much its so good to read these things because it helps me kleep my hopes up and my fingers crossed

 

[lainey]

Great advice,

One am following through right now, including not going on this board and speaking about it 24/7.

First time iv came on here in a week. My OH has resigned me to once a week for 10minutes - So i can catch up on uz all and see if anyone has any news/gossip.

Good luck to all, and i suggest everyone forllows this advice.

 

[susie]

i am trying to relax about ttc now and even stopped temping this month until just a couple of days ago, i was told that we will need ivf and since then i am resigned to just wait a few months for this to happen, so for the next couple of months we are just going to enjoy each other and bed when we want to and not when we dont, we will go on holiday in may and start the ivf process straight after, but you never know it may happen before we have been ttc since 04

you will never believe this just got my bfp think there may be something in this as been trying since 04 but had m/c june 06 i took a month off clomid and bedded cos we wanted to good luck everyone

 

[moomoo192]

congrats susie, thats brilliant news

 

[Miracle babe]

I think there is a lot of truth in the RELAX THEORY. We were told in Oct 2005 after a ton of tests that we couldnt have any more children. We were heartbroken but resigned ourselves finally that that was that and BAM in January 2006 found out I was expecting Rowan. Not bad after 5 years of TTC