worried about stillbirth etc help needed

[ella]

I think it has all been said here, and yes I doubt there is one of us who hasnt been afraid or thought about this happening - or there being something wrong with our new babies.


The only advice I would give Mrs. Brickeltobe is that I think you should chat to your partner - I had no problem buying everything for the baby but when it came to laying it out ready to bring the baby home I felt weird and I talked to David about it and he made me feel loads better

 

[Pregnopaws]

Alot of these fears many women won't discuss for fear of them becoming real somehow if spoken. Well I have to say fears about your child NEVER EVER end. I still worry about my 16 year old son, where he is, what is he thinking or doing. I worry constantly about him. Its natural. (Even though at times I'd gladly sell him off to the first bidder!!) Somehow he still feels a part of my body, he's just no longer tiny or inside it! My pregnancy with him when I was 20 years old was horrendous. My blood pressure was up and down throughout and I was sick as a dog almost the whole way through, I developed pre eclampsia, blew up like a whale, was bed bound most of the 9 months and even the doctor at the time said.."I'm not surprised if you dont have anymore..!" And that was back when there was no internet and I knew diddly squat about anything to do with pregnancies. I cried all day shouting "never again" and just sat back and let it all happen in ignorance.

Roll on 16 years, a new husband and the subject of babies comes up again, naturally. Even though I somehow liked the idea of a little baby again, the whole memory of a pregnancy AND at the age of 36 terrified me more than getting run over by a truck!!

In 2006 I had three months of counselling to try to help me understand that not all pregnancies are BAD and that I am healthy, and perfectly capable of producing another healthy child, and that I or the child won't die just because of my fears! (Plus not all symptoms repeat in subsequent pregnancies). I was not convinced and DH finally became resigned to the fact that I would never give it another go!

It wasn't till May 2007 that I finally caved in to my fears after a coffee morning with a friend who handed me her baby. Something just went off in my head then. It was like 'Omg I have to do this before its too late" I threw my pills away and was pregnant within a few weeks and to be honest, it hasn't been half as bad as I thought.

I've had nausea and spd and all that stuff, but I've matured enough and know alot more information about pregnancies to not think the very worst or that I'm dying (like I thought at age 20) This forum has helped alot too as I know now that its not just ME that suffers with symptoms and fears! My blood pressure has not tipped the scales once so far and each day the pregnancy progresses I remain more and more confident that I made the right decision whatever the outcome! Some people call it luck. I call it faith! All I want now is baby to come out so I can enjoy the experience far more than I did the first time around!

 

[littlepip]

i'm exactly the same!! i keep saying it to my mum recently that i know something will go wrong! I just can't believe im gonna have a little boy soon and im so scared that something will happen to him. Thats why i got so upset when my OH didnt understand why i wanted to go to the hospital when i didnt feel him much, he said its nothing he's fine but i said id rather go and get it checked than regret it if something was wrong and i never went!!! I said i didnt want to have to go to my baby's funeral for the sake of not getting it checked!
I'm so paranoid what with all the good stuff thats been going on lately im just sure SOMETHING has to go wrong so i cant be happy at the moment until i have my baby!

 

[beth3735]

I feel exactly like this too. I even spoke to my midwife asking if it was normal to fear that something will happen to baby so far on.

I thought being my 3rd baby I would take it with a pinch of salt. But I have been told im having a little Boy, he is so wanted in this family now. A Girl would of been too, but this little boy will be the first boy in the whole family both side since my hubby.

My biggest fear is the spontaneous stopping of the heart sorry to say this, but I have become addicted to my doppler again even if i feel him move.

My main worry from this fear is have I got my Girls excited/ too attatched to someone who isnt here yet. They both talk to Joseph in my tummy.

My midwife said it is ok to worry like that but it is very rare and doesnt happen as often as we think. I still worry im one of the rare ones.

I just want my little healthy Boy or even Girl out so I can protect him myself

 

[Tegala-7thMarch08]

i wake up every moring convinced i rolled over on him at night and killed him.. i lie there untill he moves and i dont get up untill he does.
at 12 weeks i was so sure i wudnt make it this far... every step closer to my due date i feel better... i never thought about still births now thats gunna be in the bk of my mind aswell dont worry thats not because u metioned it i wuda heard it sumwer else and worried... i spose its natrual to worry its mother nature if mothers didnt worry about there babys/ children then they wudnt be keeping them safe and out of harms way.

 

[Magic Monkey]

I am so glad that i am not the only one that feels like this. All through my pregnancy I have been waiting to get to a certain point when the risks of certain things are reduced. Now i am paranoid about the baby coming early, and feel like i have wished away my whole pregnancy.

My OH is the same as me and we haven't bought anything yet, or even started the nursery. The rational part of my brain knows that you can't make bad things happen, but the irrational part doesn't want to tempt fate. which i know is entirely stupid!

I think that this forum has helped me so much as it is good to know that others have the same feelings and fears.

 

[Babylicious]

 

[mrsbrickelltobe]

good grief i started something here didnt i?!

 

[chrystaltips]

I think it's perfectly normal to have worries like this and more so if you are a naturally anxious person or have a family history of problems.

I'm exactly the same. At first I was petrified of miscarriage and was convinced my baby wouldn't make it past 12 weeks. Then I had a high-risk triple test result that resulted in me having an amniocentesis to test for Down's syndrome at 17 weeks. I was convinced that my baby would have Down's but thank god she didn't. On top of this, I have been terrified of late miscarriage throughout my pregnancy as my mum had an incompetent cervix and had 5 late miscarriages and I was 3 months prem (born at 28 weeks). Just convinced the same thing would happen to me. Now, I'm worried about still-birth or anything going wrong post-partum, or her being born with a problem of some sort. The worrying never ceases, and I'm sure this is only the start of what being a parent is like in terms of worrying.

Still, deep down, I know the odds for a healthy baby are very much in my favour. I guess the best thing is to try to think of the number of babies that are born every day perfectly healthy, and try to relax.