Worried about sex of baby

[dannii87]

If I was you, I would stay team green. I think it is easier to let the disappointment overwhelm you if you find out through a scan. If you find out when the baby is handed to you, your loving instincts may just kick in.:

I do agree with this theory, however, I'd personally want to find out if I were in your position because if it is a boy, you have lots of time between now and the birth where you could "overcome" the disappoint you MIGHT feel.

You're not alone though, I'm pretty sure in your position I would be rooting for a girl all the way and would also be worried about the scan in case they said boy and would fear my own reaction to it.

I am sprinkling pretty pink (and glittery!) sparkles for you xxx

 

[DaisyRose]

Hi Star,

I really feel for you and hope you get the news you want at your scan. I'm not sure what I would do in your situation to be honest - I've got two girls and in all honesty, I don't mind what this one is - must admit though, I did really want a girl the first time around! I think I'd probably stay green (as I always have done anyway) in the knowledge that giving birth and seeing your baby for the first time is an unmatchable experience and that rush of love is so overwhelming.

Is there any way you could talk your OH out of finding out?

All the best - let us know how it goes on Friday.

 

[Steelgoddess]

Ahem...

Ok before i Post please PLEASE know I don't mean this in any way to sound nasty... However I guess i will be the one to go against the grain and say does it really REALLY matter?????

Like you said at the end of the day the only real thing that should matter is that the baby is healthy, has two arms two legs a beating heart...

My OH really wants a boy however in the back of my mind I have often wondered if its a girl would he be dissapointed?? I have asked him this and he has said no he obviously wouldnt and I hope he would love it just the same.

I see pregnancy as a massive lottery, I understand a girl would be lovely for you but is it really worth your worrying, Also is it a proper worrying thing that won't stop niggling in your mind or maybe horomones? Either way like someone else said if it was a boy you would still love it and I highly doubt you will look back. every family does not need a girl and a boy to make things complete.
As my mum would say we get what we're given and thats how it goes.

Again I say this with love and kindness

 

[fuffins1981]

I think, though my opinion was the less favourable one, that it can be more detrimental to resent the 'bump' and already feel detached by the time the baby is born. There is the chance that it just gives you more chance to get used to the fact. But a friend of mine has two boys and found out what her third baby was and was very disappointed. When he was born, she even left naming him to the dad. I think she felt a little detached.

Not saying this would be everyone. Just some.

My nan did not want any girls, just boys. She had 5 boys, then my mom. She wanted to leave my mom in the hospital. Then went on to have 3 more boys, plus a prem boy who did not survive. Thats an example of someone who found out at the birth and was detached.

Two examples there, so I have now lost my point.

*star* - you will know in your heart what to do when you go to have your scan. Whatever happens, you shall be fine

 

[abcd1234]

I was also a little concerned baby daddy would be disappointed if baby was a girl. As it happens i havnt heard from him really since finding out she's a girl.
The difference between him and you is that you already have babies which you love. I think he had in his head to play football with a son, and teach him stuff, and now doesnt no what do with a girl.

I honestly think, that you will love your baby regardless, your baby was planned cos i remember you getting yout bfp. I'll def be looking out for your update when you find out tho, and sending pink baby dust yuor way

 

[nickilubs]

I think your having a girl I just get that feeling...which is quite odd as I dont have a clue what I am actually having!

I do agree with steelgoddess and you will be a brilliant mum no matter what boy or girl

 

[Steelgoddess]

thanks everyone!
im sure you are right, if baby is a boy im sure i'll love him just as much as i love my two already.

and again your right, baby is still baby whether it's a boy or a girl, just a girl would be doubly nice, and i dont think i could ever not love a boy.

i know how sweet my two are now

You will be fine, you could always buy him dresses if its a boy? JK...

 

[Gem212]

I agree with claire&jack, i think you should find out as it gives you time to get your head round it and get used to the ideas.

I have a 4 year (nearly 5) already and my OH is desperate for a girl and if im honest i would prefer a girl to as me and pregnancy do not mix well, i never have the bloomin stage, feel tired all the time and had pre-eclampsia at 38 weeks previously and swelled up like a baloon, if this is a boy i would have to have another one because i really want a daughter!

My scan is next thursday and im sooooooo nervous but at the end of the day as long as the baby is healthy and doing fine! Another plus is youll save money but that doesnt make you feel any better as i have had the urge to buy so much pink, flowery things for girls!

I have my fingers crossed for you and send you lots of girly vibes!!

Good Luck!!

Gems x x

 

[Lindsay]

Good luck tomorrow for your scan hun, I hope that it all goes well

Xxx

 

[*Star*]

thanks everyone. yes i know if baby is a girl i will spend a FORTUNE on clothes and pink stuff, but it would be so worth it.

 

[dannii87]

Just wanted to add girlies who have a preference - It's not a crime to have a preference, it's not like you're on here saying "I don't care about the health, I just want a girl" etc... So don't feel guilty for feeling that way - It's natural to steer towards a certain sex when you have one or more of the other

 

[Steelgoddess]

Just wanted to add girlies who have a preference - It's not a crime to have a preference, it's not like you're on here saying "I don't care about the health, I just want a girl" etc... So don't feel guilty for feeling that way - It's natural to steer towards a certain sex when you have one or more of the other

I never said that in my post. And I wasnt here to make anyone feel guilty, what i was trying to say was it really worth getting stressed about.

Obviously some ladies think ooo Id love a girl, or id love a boy etc, i wasnt talking about that, I was discussing the stress behind it, ie getting so worked up, especially seeing as we have no control over what sex a baby comes out as.

I don't know maybe its me, cause its my first child, and yes after three miscarriages I dont give a toss what im having just want to make sure it gets here safely.

Maybe in future i'll keep my mouth shut.

 

[dannii87]

I never said that in my post. And I wasnt here to make anyone feel guilty, what i was trying to say was it really worth getting stressed about.

Obviously some ladies think ooo Id love a girl, or id love a boy etc, i wasnt talking about that, I was discussing the stress behind it, ie getting so worked up, especially seeing as we have no control over what sex a baby comes out as.

I don't know maybe its me, cause its my first child, and yes after three miscarriages I dont give a toss what im having just want to make sure it gets here safely.

Maybe in future i'll keep my mouth shut.

A couple of things to add;

- My post wasn't at all directed at you, I added it because a couple of people said they were feeling guilty about having a preference so I'm reassuring them that it isn't a crime and not to feel guilty about it.

- Secondly, it's 2 different opinions, you voiced yours, I voiced mine, you voiced your again assuming I was directing it at you.

- Thirdly, I'm sure we all want our children to arrive safely whatever our backgrounds and history. I just can understand it is different for those who already have one or more of the same sex.

- And finally, this forum is here to share opinions for other people's benefits so they can have a varied response, so no, please don't keep your mouth shut over a misunderstanding.



I see this as "left" now.

Hugs all round. x

 

[Bagpuss17]

I had a friend in a similar situation to yourself and they found out at the 20 week scan what the sex was. Turned out to be another boy, she was really upset for a few days but I think finding out at the 20 week scan was perhaps better than waiting until baby was born because she had time to accept that she was having another boy.

Baby is here now and she's bonded with him no problems.

I've also read that the odds on having a girl after having 2 boys is still quite high . More so than the other way around.

Hope you make the decision that's right for you.

 

[dannii87]

Yeah I agree with bagpuss, and, I've got a crazy feeling you've got pink bumpage there!

x

 

[Steelgoddess]

Well I guess hormones played a large part of my last post so apoliges, have pmed you with hugs in mind

 

[mandspice]

It's a tricky one and I think opinions are always going to be divided on this - I agree with Sharne in that, after having multiple losses, I couldn't care less whether my lil boy was a boy or a girl and if I'm being honest can't empathise with those who worry about this. BUT that's not to say I can't sympathise objectively - everyone has different experiences and ways of seeing things, it's what makes the world go round x

 

[nikkimitch]

so was the scan today star?? do you know yet???

I have 2 boys and 1 girl so far - spent my life thinking I would have a family of 4 - 3 boys and a girl so presumed this one would be a boy - was delighted to be told it is a girl as enjoyed a pink one a lot but part of me feels they must of got it wrong and it'll pop out a boy so determined not to think one way or the other yet - if that makes any sense

 

[Becs]

What have you got Star? Hugs and either way