Worried about sex of baby

[*Star*]

I already have two boys (3 1/2 and 9 months), and me and my partner are SO desperate to have a little girl.

I have HG with my pregnancies and I really don't think that I could face going through a fourth pregnancy if this baby is also another boy.

I would love him, just as much as I love my boys, but I just don't know how I would feel if they tell me baby is a boy.

I have my heart set on having a little girl. My family would not feel complete if I didn't have a daughter.

I'm scared that I wont bond with this baby if it's another boy.

What can I do? I have a scan on Friday and there is potential to find out the sex then. Now the time is coming closer I'm getting more and more worried. I'm trying to imagine myself with 3 boys and I just can't do it.

 

[Moofa]

 

[fuffins1981]

If I was you, I would stay team green. I think it is easier to let the disappointment overwhelm you if you find out through a scan. If you find out when the baby is handed to you, your loving instincts may just kick in.

But, I guess there will be a school of though twhich would say, you will have more time to adjust if you find out now.

I think you would bond with the baby if it is a boy. Maybe it will be a little harder if your disappointment is acute.

Sorry I cannot be of much help. Have a few and good luck to you however your story unfolds :

 

[*Star*]

thanks - i did want to stay team green, because i know i couldn't not love my baby after i had him/her.

But I got my way with finding out with the boys, and my partner really really wants to know what were having. I've tried asking him to wait, but he doesn't want to.

 

[abcd1234]

I honestly think that as soon as you know what baby is, be it girl or boy, whether thats in a few weeks or when they're born, you'll love them just as much!!

I know its a worry, and i was so convinced mine was a boy my mum was owrried id be disapointed if she was a girl.

As long as babies healthy you'll love them regardless

 

[Lindsay]

Have PM'd you hun

Xxx

 

[jenna]

 

[*Star*]

i also feel so guilty, because of course i should just be happy that baby is (will be) healthy, and that really in the big scheme of things, baby's sex isn't such a big deal.

so many people try so hard just to have ONE child, and here i am having my third in 4 years.

why can't i be grateful for what i have?

 

[Moofa]

i also feel so guilty, because of course i should just be happy that baby is (will be) healthy, and that really in the big scheme of things, baby's sex isn't such a big deal.

so many people try so hard just to have ONE child, and here i am having my third in 4 years.

why can't i be grateful for what i have?

It's ok, I really want a girl, this will be my first, but I know I'll love it if it is a boy. My friend has 4 boys!

 

[Chrissy1]

I'm in the same boat as you in that I REALLY want a girl....more than anything.

I've decided to stay team green so that in the hope that when they put the baby on my chest the minute it's born I won't care what it is and I'll love it before they even tell me what it is and I'll just be thankful it's out of me and it's healthy.

I was going to find out so that I had time to adjust if it was a boy but then I thought that if I do find out it's a boy it's just going to put me on a downer for the rest of the pregnancy and plus if I stay team green I get another 20 weeks of it potentially being a girl!!

I know it sounds horrible because it's my first baby and it took us what felt like foever to get pg but I've always wanted a girl and have always been scared of getting pg in case I had a boy so now I am pg it's just playing on my mind all the time.

 

[HideiLu]

My brother had 3 boys (6yrs, 18months & 4 months) and they were really hoping the last two would be a girl. I'm now a little worried as I'd feel guilty if mine is a girl (really think it will be!)

You will always love the baby, whether you find out now or later if it's a boy or girl. Sometimes boys just run and run...but my brothers OH is still hoping they'll have a girl one day I think but they're not going to try, I was the last girl to be born in our whole family! And that's nearly 25 years ago!

 

[Mildly]

There are some articles on gender disappointment here. I haven't read them all but the one from bellybelly is very interesting.

 

[JoAnn&Aimee]

i also feel so guilty, because of course i should just be happy that baby is (will be) healthy, and that really in the big scheme of things, baby's sex isn't such a big deal.

I really want a girl as well and this is my first. I feel a bit guilty for wanting a girl so badly but I am also worried incase I get told at a scan or the birth it is a boy that I will LOOK disappointed! Don't get me wrong I wouldn't mind having a boy but I'd really be over the moon with a girl.

 

[fuffins1981]

I was convinced my son was a girl and had always wanted a girl first....so we could be like best mates. Like me and my mom.

As soon as he was born, I would not have swapped him for the world. I am guessing you will all be exactly the same

 

[Mrs_Jay]

i actually disagree and think that it would be better if you did find out at the scan, becoz then you could get used to the idea if it was another boy.

i sorta feel a bit similar to you even tho i only have one atm, but we me we are defently only going to have 2 no matter what this one is (OH doesnt want anymore and tbh i dont think we could financially be able to manage 3 or more) but with this it has made me really want this one to be a little girl like you, so that i had one of each. and i hate feeling like this also. coz i dont want to feel disapointed if it was another boy. But i do think people are right and that you will love it no matter what the sex it is, just might take a little while to get used to the idea.

 

[bowmanzoo]

Hi

I know excactly how you feel and not sure what advice to give you really. My first 2 were boys and I've always been desperate for a little princess. Fortuantly for me my 3rd was a little girl and I felt so complete. Unfortuantly we cannot choose what we have, we get what we're given and we need to be thankful for that as there are so many people that can't have any children. I'm desperate this time for a little boy but would be happy whatever but more happier with a boy if that makes sense. I think it might be good for you to have the sex scan and then if it is a boy it gives you chance to bond with him while you're pregnant and get used to the idea. Sorry for the useless feedback but have some

 

[Redshoes]

Aaawwwwwwwwww *Star*, wanted to pass on lots of
It's OK to say 'I'd like...' it certainly doesn't mean you're ungrateful and it certainly doesn't mean you won't love your baby, if anything you're very well equipped to love boys already
Very very best wishes for the scan, I think finding out now is the best way, as you can still bond with baby up until birthday then, and don't be too hard on yourself, stop thinking 'What if..' hard I know, but what if you have another boy and love him as much as the boys you already have, would be wonderful, no doubt, try to relax about it, it will be OK, you're already a great a Mummy, have some more

 

[*Star*]

thanks everyone!
im sure you are right, if baby is a boy im sure i'll love him just as much as i love my two already.

and again your right, baby is still baby whether it's a boy or a girl, just a girl would be doubly nice, and i dont think i could ever not love a boy.

i know how sweet my two are now

 

[clairedoran]

I think you'll have a girl. Just a feeling. If you do have a boy, it will be lovely for 3 brothers growing up together. My dh doesn't have any brothers and he often says he would have liked a couple of brothers. Plus teenage boys are no were near as hard work as teenage girls. Ask my mother, she had 4 girls and a boy, and wished all through are teenage years that she'd had 5 boys! xx

 

[mary70]

hi hun i was so convinced my first was a girl, never even entered my head that it was a boy and to be honest when he was born and they said it was a boy i didnt want to hold him i told the nurse to give him to my husband but after i had come round i loved him to bits and he is now my best friend as well as my son and i am sure you will feel the same no matter what you have but dont feel guilty hun because i thing everyone secretly has a preference