work- to tell or not to tell?

[TINKS82]

We are about to start on our 1st ivf journey and our 1st appt to see the consultant is enddof the month. My question is whether or not I should tell my manager? I cant decide what to do. I was all for telling my manager because I get on well with her and she is quite easy going and fair, but then my work colleague came in for a meeting about coming back to work from maternity,* to be told its full time or nothing! My manager apparently wasn't very supportive in the meeting and didn't seem that sympathetic when she told us. I know the decision wasn't down to her, but feel she should have been more supportive. This has now made me a bit uneasy and not sure I can trust she will be supportive with the journey I am about to embark on and I will need all the support I can get as its going to be an emotional roller coaster. One part of me thinks dont be silly she will be fine, the other is saying dont say a word because you dont need the stress and anxiety of worrying what workthinks.What has everyone else done, do you think I should tell my manager?

 

[mablestarr]

Its a tricky one. My friend had IVF 2 years ago and she did tell the manager at work. She knew that once the IVF process started she would need some time off for appointments etc, then when the embryo was implanted she took a few days off.

she decided to be open from the begining so that when she came to fill in leave of absence forms etc work knew why. Also she said if it didn't work then she would need some support from work (time off etc).

You need to do what you feel more comfortable with. good luck. xx

 

[FBTTN8079]

I know that its very hard. They havent confirmed with us about what our next ste is but they did say its looking like we will need IVF, so as I work for the NHS I just had a chat with my manager to update her and she was fine with it

I think that NHS also gives you some time off for IVF treatment so its worth finding out if your work will do the same? x

 

[Blueflower]

My colleague had time off for IVF appointments and her manager was fine with it. I think mine will be ok but its so hard to know. I think I am going to keep quiet whilst we have clomid with follicle tracking and just say its another gynaecological procedure, but if we have IVF I will have to tell her because it will take up so much time. And will also be necessary to explain if I'm not myself at times.

Is there any way you can research your company's sick leave guidelines without giving yourself away?
I don't think your manager is allowed to say "full time or nothing" is she? Although I suppose in the private sector they can say what they like.

 

[ScotchEgg]

When we had treatment or hospital do appointments from 7am so we were able to do most things before work and get in for 9am. The first cycle I only took the day after egg collection off as annual leave (ec was on a back holiday) and one day sick as I had mild ohss. All my scans were before work. embryo transfer turned out to be a saturday. I was surprised how little time I needed off.

On subsequent cycles I took a few more days off as the emotional impact increased massively each time but still only 3 days or so, all annual leave.

The only thing is you don't know exactly when things will happen so will need flexibility on which days you take