Will You/Did You Find Out Your Babies Gender?

[Dolores]

Hi all!

I'm about 8 weeks pregnant and me and my husband knew from the moment we found out I was expecting that we would be keeping the gender of our baby a surprise and not finding out.

Since we've told a few close friends the second thing they ask is if we are going to find out if it's a boy or a girl. When we say no, we'd like the surprise, most of them have looked at me like I'm mad!

Our main reason we gave to people when asked to explain why we were waiting was that we just want to have that sacred, Hollywood moment straight after you've given birth and they say "Congratulations! It's a boy!" or, y'know, "She's a healthy baby girl! Congratulations!"

I realise it's really common and normal now to find out what you're having, but I just wondered if you ladies did and the reasons why? And if you didn't, your reasons why!

D x

 

[Rose83]

Found out with all three of mine. I can't handle the suspense and just need to know! But it's also always allowed me to plan for buying clothes - I'm super organised and buy the next year's clothes ahead in the sales so I did the same with baby, planned ahead so I had the basics of a year of wardrobe to save money. Mainly though I just couldn't have dealt with not knowing x

 

[firstfreakout]

This is my first pregnancy and we found out at 20 weeks and confirmed it yesterday at 29 weeks that we're having a boy. My reasons for finding out were so I can be more organised with what I'm buying (trying to stay gender neutral is difficult sometimes!) and because I thought it would help me connect more with the pregnancy and the baby.

I love the idea of keeping it a surprise until the birth though, and some women do say it's added incentive to get through labour - to finally find out if they're having a son or daughter. I just don't have the patience for this.

I find that people can be so judgemental about other people's pregnancies and children, especially when it comes to the decision of finding out the gender, breastfeeding or returning to work etc, but just tell them that your reasons are your own and you don't have to justify why to anybody but you and your partner!

Congratulations!

 

[Elspeth]

I'm not finding out this time round. It's been lovely not knowing, all the comments and guessing and suspense.
I feel very comfortable not knowing this time as I really do not have a preference as to the sex of the baby and would be delighted with a boy or another girl.

I found out with my first pregnancy because for some reason I really wanted a girl and I had to know.
I know most people don't feel like this though and maybe it's second time round they might have more of a preference.

Enjoy the not knowing.
Xx

 

[JulyBug]

I was always going to want to know, i did however wait until my 20 week scan and didn't pay for an early scan (that wait was hard enough).. before I found out the gender I was really struggling to imagine having a baby in my life and it just didn't feel 'real'.. As soon as i knew i was having a boy I felt so much more connected with him, it was strange, just being able to say 'him' or 'he' and not 'it!' made a big difference.. I could finally picture our little boy.

I completely respect any one who can wait to find out!.. As you've said that moment of finally finding out will be spectacular - I just don't have the will power or patience to wait!!

xxx

 

[Beauandhamish]

We didn't find out with our first, I think it's nice to have a surprise! We won't be finding out with our second either. Also I know two people who were told they were having girls, went out and bought loads of stuff and ended up having boys!

 

[Selina13]

I think its lovely to have a surprise and I totally wish I could wait for the moment you describe, problem is Im a control freak and like others I wanted to be organised.
I found out with my first and It felt more real, he was a person when I knew and had a name for months before he was here and it helped me bond.
I will find out again this time again so I know what I can reuse and what I need to buy, think about his/her name and for my little boy to be able to connect with his brother or sister.

I do wish I could wait but I cant wait for anything!!!

Dont let anyone sway your decision, its your baby and its your experience and once you know you cant un-know!!! Lol

People (friends and family) want to know so they can also plan gifts and imagine the baby more as a person I think rather than just being nosey. They want to connect. TBH I have been disappointed when my friends havent found out as I have wanted to know lol! When I got the announcements when the babies were born I was very excited to hear the name and gender though!! x

 

[Wednesday]

I found out with my first but have decided I won't be finding out with this one! I'm very impatient but will be trying my best

 

[Hollyhotlips]

What a fab question. we found out the gender for our first baby, mainly because I was too impatient and wanted to start buying things for her but also because I have 2 step-daughters and wanted them to know. This time round I really want to keep it as a surprise but my OH wants to find out. I am trying to persuade him but if he is super keen then I will ask him to find out once I'm out of the room and he'll have to sit on it for 6 months or so haha

 

[MrsS15]

We had a surprise with our son and will again. We aren't bother about having a boy or girl, and we're more than happy to buy neutral so we're looking forward to that amazing 'it's a....' moment we put money aside with our son so when he was born we went out a day of shopping to buy some colour, it was such a lovely day and we'll do the same again this time

I totally understand why people find out for the prep and organisation but we'll be organised enough with not knowing too xx

 

[Lolie14]

We didn't find out with either of ours although my gut instinct was spot on regarding the gender. It didn't make any financial difference to us whether we did or not as we didn't want anything furniture/pram wise to be gender specific so we could reuse for any further children.

It was lovely being told in the delivery room what we had.

 

[candymycandy]

I find it strange when people react like that. Totally standard to not find out! We didn't find out with my little boy but are with this one. Partly for practical reasons and partly because we figured we've had that surprise experience with my lb and want to have a different experience with this one!

 

[Alipops1986]

I'll throw a curve ball in - we found out but didn't tell anyone, so they thought we didn't know. It was a good compromise - I wanted to know but also wanted to not know as our parents were enjoying the surprise and guessing.

Yes this did mean I walked round loads of girls clothing areas for my mum's benefit, knowing full well I was having a boy but it was worth it. When OH made that phone call to say "It's a boy!" when he was born, the excitement from our family was fantastic. I even had a huge log of everyone's guess - me and OH had good fun secretly giggling when people had guessed girl!

This time round, we're going to find out and do a gender reveal - with a balloon or cake instead. I would LOVE a little girl but i'm fairly confident baby is another boy, which is absolutely fine too. But, if baby is a boy, i'd rather not walk round the girls clothes again for 9 months!! haha.

Alipops x

 

[love87]

No I'm not going to find out this time. I didn't find out on my first and I did on my second. The surprise was fabulous but not only that, after having 2 girls I would really love a boy. I know if I find out gender and it's a girl I will probably feel a pang of disappointment and I don't want to feel that. So if I don't find out and wait until baby is born it won't matter either way because once my baby is here I will be over the moon either way. ☺

 

[MissCharli]

I always thought I'd want it to be a surprise, but my OH really wanted to know. By that point I didn't really mind so I booked a private scan for OHs birthday.

Now I'm really glad that we found out, for me it's just made everything easier. I can bond with this little thing inside me now he has a name and we've bought tonnes of boy clothes etc.

But it's such a private decision I can totally understand not finding out. Other than the 2 of you it's no ones business! X

 

[KHTW]

We found out but only told the grandparents

If we are lucky enough to get pregnant again we will be finding out as well x

 

[Loveandpeace]

We are expecting our first baby and neither of us want to find out! We want the surprise until he birth. It would be good to know for practical purposes, but we can buy neutral things until then.

 

[sexyamy2005]

We found out but didnt tell anyone and had fun shopping in different towns for coloured items! Lol

I want to find out this second time only as my little girl will be 7 so completely understand and we would like to involve her by her being the one to find out, and my husband has said if its another girl we can have a boy dog to make up numbers in ohr household, lol

Weve not told anyone until after 12 wk scan so will be nice for gender scan at 16 weeks just before we go away on holls

 

[Kholl]

We didn't find out with any of ours, though to be honest not a single one was a "surprise" because I knew with 100% certainty in my heart the sex of each baby, even from before (s)he was conceived.

Do you have a feeling with this one? So exciting!

 

[Hoping for no2]

Didn't find out with my two boys, it was amazing to find out at delivery. Tempted to find out this time mainly so I don't have to listen to the 'fx for a girl', 'did you try for another to get a girl' comments for 9 months, lol! Also we struggled big time on boys names for both so be good to know if we need to think of another or not! X