why must he fight sleep all the time!

[Hemera]

My baby boy is nearly 4 months but still doesn't go to sleep by his self. He needs to be rocked and screams as soon as he realises what I'm trying to do despite being tired. THis Is at nap times and bed time. Now I can't get him to sleep unless he's on me in bed and it still takes about an hour. He generally Will wake at every 2-4 hours and I feel like everyone else's babies are happy mapping and sleeping through and I'm being a bad mum as we've not got it sorted. It's affecting my relationship as my husband and I never get any alone time as lo won't go to bed without us. We have a consistent bedtime routine and when I do get IIo to nap he gets lots of sleep in. The day. When Will he and how can I encourage him to fall asleep by his self?

 

[pinkyprincess]

I was going to post something similar!! Going to stalk lol!

 

[lewisca]

Rhea is a nightmare in the day fights and fights and will only give in if I cuddle her and pat her bum !! She sometimes falls asleep on the school run. Or I try and bounce her to sleep in her bouncer. At night she gets put in her cot awake but sleepy after her bottle and cuddles. Had bout a week where she screamed when we put her down but did a little controlled crying where I would leave her for a min then went in Put her dummy in and let her hold my hand for a min then I would go out again. Did that till she settled. Took a few nights of this but can now put her down and pretty much leave her she does sometimes wake for her dummy but that's all. Think I might start trying regular nap times and put her in her cot over next couple of days. Hope your lo start playing ball soon !! Xxxx

 

[ForestLas80]

Sorry to hear your LO is like that, must be sooo tiring. I fully swaddle Fin and in the daytime hive him a dummy to go to sleep and it seems to work a treat for him.

 

[pinkyprincess]

My LO is amazing at night. He does feed to sleep but why not at bed time. In the morning he's better at going down and sleeping but come the afternoon he's terrible.

 

[Kbex]

It's a vicious circle as I find the more overtired they are the harder it is to get them to sleep. Have you tried putting him down a bit before he needs a sleep and then just pottering around him. He will know you are there then but with no loud noises he might just drift off. You may also need to wake from daytime sleeps if they are too long as he might still have his days and nights a bit confused And want to play at night. Try introducing some sort of routine for the day perhaps as although will be nightmare to do it really works for some babies. So of he will sleep on pram or car take him for walk or drive at times he needs to sleep. Once cracked that then it might be easier to do the controlled crying or pick up put down method whichever you prefer. You must be exhausted though so give yourself a few days of doing nothing round the house and eating soup or ready meals to recharge your batteries. Hope it gets better soon. Plus trust me no one has it all sorted with their little ones. Even when you think it is sorted something changes and it goes wrong again x

 

[lewisca]

What kbex has said is very true !!! Rhea has probably slept for a grand total of 45 mins since 7.45 this morning !!! I'm thinking of trying to get her bottle down her bit earlier and just put her down !! Only thing is my middle one still rocks himself to sleep and that can b quite noisy !!! Xxx

 

[tinks77]

Grace goes down at bedtime no problem, we've had the same routine for 2 months now
During the day can be a nightmare though. She has 3 x 45 mins naps during the day and sometimes a catnap around 5:45pm before going to bed at 7pm. She still wakes at least once in the night

I'm now putting her down once a day for a nap routine and will work my way up to the rest. You are not alone all you can do is keep trying x

 

[LaurenMM]

Rhea is a nightmare in the day fights and fights and will only give in if I cuddle her and pat her bum !! She sometimes falls asleep on the school run. Or I try and bounce her to sleep in her bouncer. At night she gets put in her cot awake but sleepy after her bottle and cuddles. Had bout a week where she screamed when we put her down but did a little controlled crying where I would leave her for a min then went in Put her dummy in and let her hold my hand for a min then I would go out again. Did that till she settled. Took a few nights of this but can now put her down and pretty much leave her she does sometimes wake for her dummy but that's all. Think I might start trying regular nap times and put her in her cot over next couple of days. Hope your lo start playing ball soon !! Xxxx

Its weird you say that about patting their little bum, I have to do that with Angel sometimes! Have you got a swing or anything like that hun? Angel sometimes gets so tired but she fights it. She can fall asleep on her own and she'll start to drift off but then she'll suddenly open her eyes and start screaming. This goes on for about 20 mins usually and the only thing that'll calm her is me holding her. Then other times I'll put her in her swing and she'll go out like a light! Its just trial and error with us at the moment, funny enough, we never have any trouble with her during the night! After her feeds she will go straight back down with a minimum of fuss! Please don't feel like a failure, I think (going from what my HV told me) baby has just got into a habit of falling asleep being cuddled. Have you tried white noise? Or taking him for a stroll? That always settles Angel xx http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QQUjMtQRUbg

 

[lewisca]

Yer have got a swing which she loves but not when tired !!! She is just so different day to day but also good at night ( u watch she will b a nightmare tonight !!! ) will sometimes fall asleep in the car but she didn't tonight !!! Kids don't u get love them !!! Lol xxx

 

[Sarah13]

Your def not alone Kynon is the same, hardly sleeps and when he does is not for long either. Sorry haven't got any advice just wanted you to know he's not the only one even though it feels like it sometimes! And try to remember babies waking lots and needing cuddles to feel secure is perfectly normal x

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[littlemiss83]

Sounds difficult!! Your LO has gotten used to falling asleep on you & he will just as easily get used to falling asleep without you. It will be difficult but he will get used to it soon enough.

I've read this advice numerous times & it worked for me with both LO's so here goes....put lo in cot from the start of bedtime. When LO cries, try to re-settle in cot w/out lifting, for example stroking face. If that doesn't work, pick up & settle in your arms, then put lo in cot again & keep doing that for as long as you can (i'm tempted to say the whole night but that might not be poss) he needs to get used to it, but he doesn't need to be left alone to cry to get used to it. Put him in the cot as much as you possibly can, even if its not for a nap time, let him lay there & get comfortable & used to it. If you try the above re-settling techniques, the time it takes for LO to cry will eventually get longer & longer. Its hard work, but it pays off.

 

[AugustMum]

I actually think it might just be a case of him not liking going to sleep.

My lo is 18 months and only very recently has she started to go sleep a bit better. I honestly used to dread nap time and bed time but once she was asleep she was a brilliant sleeper.

I found when she was below 6 months I couldn't keep her awake longer than 1.5 hours. Even if she didn't seem tired I'd still put her down to sleep. She would scream and move about and cry and it was awful. Sometimes she's still like it. Some babies will just fight sleep regardless of what we do and eventually learn that they need to sleep hut still won't go down straight away but will learn to just play until they sleep. I found a routine with the cot at bed time and nap time worked wonders and even now sometimes if she's struggles to sleep ill put her in the kitchen with the washing machine or dishwasher on and it really helps her drift off. White noise works on anyone, not just new borns!