Why haven’t we had our babies yet?

[phonixgirl]

I don't think there's an adoption section on here is there? We could start a thread about adoption, I know its a pregnancy forum but I'm sure many of us are considering it and they have one on Fertility Friends!

I agree, I think there should be! Xx

 

[Mar_15]

I'd definitely be interested in an adoption thread

 

[Loubalouba]

Me too!! If ivf does not work for us then we are definately going to apply xx

 

[Loubalouba]

Is it true you cannot apply whilst going through ivf or fertility treatment ? X

 

[Unicorn]

That makes sense phonixgirl!
I think they probably wouldn't look too kindly on people applying when trying to conceive, unless you were committed to continuing with the adoption because they wouldn't want to waste resources!
I sit on foster panels but may see about applying to sit on an adoption panel to get better informed xx

 

[Loubalouba]

No that would make sense they have to make sure you are committed to the adoption regardless of anything else but I think u can still be committed to the adoption and have a child of your own. It's such a massive decision and not one we would make lightly!! I would need to be ready to adopt, to adopt not just because I wanted to be a mum if that makes sense! X

 

[phonixgirl]

Ooo if you do, report back!

My DH has said he wants to foster before adopting (strange boy). I have always liked the idea of fostering but wanted to 'practise' on my own first. I bet your job is really interesting but difficult sometimes xxx

 

[Unicorn]

Yeah, exactly Loubaloula! It is a huge decision, it is definitely something I have always wanted to do, I just never envisaged it being instead of having my own children! And I would certainly want to be fully committed to any child, including my own if that were to happen during the process!
I dont' have that much to do with adoption Phonixgirl, but yeah my job is very interesting and rewarding, if not a bit stressful at times xx

 

[Blueflower]

I heard you have to use condoms whilst going through the application process or at least have an open pack in the bathroom cabinet when the Social Worker visits! And you have to say you have accepted you can't have children and are committed to adoption. Is that true? I work in Children's Services so hear some things but not all the facts.

If we have an adoption section where do think it should be in the forum?

 

[Unicorn]

As I said, I think you just need to be committed to continuing with the adoption regardless of what happens! It's not as if it is only couples who can't have their own children who adopt and accidents do happen (apparently, wouldn't that be nice ) xx

 

[Blueflower]

I heard about a couple who got pregnant after hearing they were adopting a baby but they carried on with the process and ended up with 2 babies which they were really happy about!

 

[phonixgirl]

A lady at work adopted a baby girl - it took about a year and they were told, at first, that there would be none! They had gone through years of trying, IUI and IVF and no hint of a BFP. So they decided to adopt and they were found this baby girl. Five months after they got her, she found out she was pregnant! X

 

[Unicorn]

Typical! Well you know what they say, if we were all to just relax and not focus on trying to conceive anymore it would just happen really easily
xx

 

[Blueflower]

Haha! These stories are rare but the public fixates on them. They don't hear about all the non success stories.

 

[Blueflower]

Had another thought, maybe I am struggling to conceive to help me to be more sympathetic about my mum? She was quite cruel to me when I was younger and I've never trusted her. She has a lot of issues which my aunty says stem from not being able to have biological children. Maybe I am going through what she went through to help me understand where she was coming from?

 

[Loubalouba]

That would be a good thing to discuss with the hypnotherapist Hun? I see u have your appt on Friday hope it goes well xx has she any psychiatric background ? X

 

[Blueflower]

Not sure, looks like mostly cognitive behavioural therapy. But I 'd like to explore those issues.
This is her website:http://www.youcandoanything.co.uk/cognitive-behavioural-therapy-brighton-london/

 

[millielaura]

Love this thread! I think maybe we haven't got ours yet as we are meant to do all the things on our bucket list first, meant to visit Venice together again. I wouldn't of started my business if it wasn't for struggling as I wouldn't of joined the fb group unless I needed the extra support and I met a friend on there who introduced me to the business so maybe thats why. I wouldn't have patience, I definitely wouldn't have my new found positivity. So I was meant to turn into a better person before my rainbow baby.
I'm thinking maybe this is one of those things you look back on and you're like... I'm so glad that happened because if it didn't I wouldn't be where I am today.
Like my m/c before uni and breakup with my ex, I was devastated, but that was meant to happen so I went to uni and met the man I'm marrying.
I lived with my flatmates when I was first with OH and they hated how much he was round, had huge arguments about it and I was so upset, if that hadn't happened we wouldn't of rented together as early in the relationship, probs wouldn't of been engaged when we did and own our house now. Maybe I am meant to have the same last name as my baby. Which I will now as a baby will now be born after our wedding. (Unless it was this month in that case it would clash haha). But I really think it is something I'll look back on and be like oh that was why! As much as it would of been lovely, I am so greatful I didn't get preg straight away and that I've been trying 2 years and had losses, I wouldn't have it any other way now even if I had the power to change it because I've developed so much as a person and now I know when we do have children it will be so much more special. If I had got preg straight away I'd of missed out on knowing just that little bit further how special having children was. It's made me a lot more empathetic to peoples journeys too xxx

 

[Nemi]

Mine are:

1) because I had to get married first (check)
2) because we had to move into our house (check)
3) because I needed a new job (also now check)

FX it will be soon for all of us

 

[snowbee]

I'm struggling to think of more reasons now. I actually believe there isn't any reason other than luck and my faulty body!