Why haven’t we had our babies yet?

[Blueflower]

I thought I would start a thread where we have to think of some good reasons why we haven’t had our babies yet. I think sometimes it’s the only way to try to make any sense of it.
No negativity allowed, we can have a moan on the Shitboat thread instead! I think it might be difficult though!
Here are mine:

Possible reasons why I haven’t had my babies yet:

• To make sure that DH really wants a family and will support me more than if it had been easy

• To give me and DH plenty of time together before we have kids, as he didn’t have a serious relationship before me & we might not have much quality time when they come along

• Maybe our children will be really difficult so we are being given a breather (a very long one!) before they come along and our lives become hectic?

• Maybe I needed to stay through all these changes at work due to some long-term plan that will become apparent in the future?

I found a list I’d written 3 years ago which includes:

• · Having time for hobbies,

• · Appreciating our house & garden before children come along

• · Eating soft cheese and drinking at parties!

• · Having an influence in the changes at work

• · Helping others on the forum

And this one which is quite sad:

• · 1st Christmas in our new house just us

(considering we’ve now had 3 Christmases!)
We'd been trying for a year then and it already seemed like an age!



I might think of some more as I go along. Anyone want to join the thread?

 

[Loubalouba]

Mine might be:

Renovating our house (we have done one room) only 5 more to go!! ( hoping this is not the reason otherwise we might be waiting a long time ha ha)
Time together as husband and wife( we have been married for 3 years)
Developing my career ( been in my job nearly 6 years!)
Teaching me a life lesson in patience and not being in control!! - ok I have learnt this now....
Giving me time to really understand what being a mum means and making sure we are ready as individuals and as a couple
Time to practice being a mum to animals first!
Making us really appreciate the gift of life!

I think that's enough reasons now...

Lou x

 

[Babybumpwanted]

This is a good thread! Ok mine are:
Have to be married first (now married-Feb, 2015)
Allow time to attend friends weddings and get leathered!
Allow time to become less of a stress head -I'm making progress with this one!
To get myself mega fit and healthy b4 becoming pregnant!

But I'm done with waiting now! I'm really really ready for my baby!! xx

 

[millielaura]

Ooh I like this thread mine are
-rennovating our house. Almost done.
-having quality time just us on the wedding night/not being pregnant in my wedding dress (booked it for 2016 instead of 2015 as thought wed have a young baby this year- typicall!!!)
- So I got kittens. I got them to help me with having such a strong maternal urge. If I hadn't been struggling I never would of got my kittens who mean the world to me.
-Teaching us patience and makes us realise what a true blessing and miracles babies are
-Hoping this leads to being a more patient mother also
- To allow me to lose weight
- To allow me to get my anxiety sorted!

 

[MrsS143]

I know what I'll miss by having a baby...

Quality time with the hubby
Undisturbed sleep
I can be lazy when I want to
I have money to do what I want
My pets get all my love time and attention
I can do what I want when I want
I dont need to watch my language (it sometimes just rolls off my tongue!)
Going on fancy hot holidays
Long lie ins
A neat tidy house
Being able to just quickly nip out somewhere
Taking random time off work to go do something nice

As much as my new family life will be exciting and special... I'll definitely mourn my life as I know and enjoy it now x

 

[snowbee]

Doing what I want to when I want to without having to consider anyone else (haha well I suppose I do have some restrictions but you get the drift).

Another one doing some house renovations and rebuilding.

Playing with my ponies and having free time.

 

[LD1978]

Hope you don't mind me jumping in. As a previous lttcer I have been told babies choose you (I'm quite spiritual so not sure if you believe)

I think its taking so long as that very special baby isn't there yet for its very special parents. The best things take the longest. My little girl was soooo worth the wait and yours will all be too (although I know how very hard it is) x

 

[Blueflower]

I know what I'll miss by having a baby...

Quality time with the hubby
Undisturbed sleep
I can be lazy when I want to
I have money to do what I want
My pets get all my love time and attention
I can do what I want when I want
I dont need to watch my language (it sometimes just rolls off my tongue!)
Going on fancy hot holidays
Long lie ins
A neat tidy house
Being able to just quickly nip out somewhere
Taking random time off work to go do something nice

As much as my new family life will be exciting and special... I'll definitely mourn my life as I know and enjoy it now x

I might miss those things a bit but I would give them all up in an instant for a baby! I don't think they are enough of a reason to wait so long!

 

[Blueflower]

Hope you don't mind me jumping in. As a previous lttcer I have been told babies choose you (I'm quite spiritual so not sure if you believe)

I think its taking so long as that very special baby isn't there yet for its very special parents. The best things take the longest. My little girl was soooo worth the wait and yours will all be too (although I know how very hard it is) x

Thank you that's lovely!

 

[phonixgirl]

What a great idea for a post.

Mine are:

- We are renovating the house. We still have carpets to replace, a stair bannister to put in (there is not one there!) and possibly other things like the garden to do up and then clear the garage. We actually only moved in here last August.
- We got a cat in March so letting her have a bit of time to enjoy being spoilt as the only 'child'. Hahaha.
- To let us see some more exotic places.
- To save up some more money, especially after having done the house renovations.
- I sort of changed jobs in January (the team is split into two, I changed sides). I am still learning so the baby is waiting for me to get more comfortable and confident in my job.
- Getting my epilepsy more under control than it has been for years.

 

[Blueflower]

Sounds good Phoenixgirl!

 

[Blueflower]

Just thought of another one:


There must be SOME reason why I’m gaining all this advanced knowledge about fertility & treatments! Maybe to expand my brain to open up some more space before I get ‘baby brain’ & it shrinks?!

 

[phonixgirl]

I feel like I know more about fertility, treatments, TTC etc than the specialists! Maybe we are all destined for a career as a £60k Fertility Specialist

 

[Blueflower]

Haha! Me too! Just need to study medicine for 6 years now and we'll sail through the next bit!

 

[phonixgirl]

I have a three week long holiday in Mexico booked for September. Obviously there is a 0.0000001% chance I will get pregnant before then but, if I do, we will have to cancel! If I am not preg by then, at least we have a lovely long holiday to look forward to. X

 

[Blueflower]

Why will you have to cancel?

 

[phonixgirl]

I don't think it is safe to travel that far when you are only a few weeks' preg x

 

[Blueflower]

I didn't realize that.

 

[phonixgirl]

I think it is advisable just in case anything happens (2nd trimester, you should be ok). Not sure why I know so much as I have never been pregnant and as I have the start of AF today (spotting), looks like I will be jetting off to Mexico anyway! X

 

[Unicorn]

I too have been told by someone spiritual that our children are waiting for the right time to enter the world for them and I am just trying to hold onto this and be patient as I would give up absolutely anything to reach my dream of becoming a mum, but would obviously always put my (future, hopefully, please?) child's needs before my own. I am also trying to use this time as an exercise in managing situtions which are out of my control, as I'm sure we will all have a lot of those to face when our children are here. Finally, I know that I will cherish my child so much and never take for granted the miracle of what it is to become a parent, which I'm sure I wouldn't have anyway but I think this gift may unfortunately have been lost on some who have 'accidentally' become pregnant or had it happen sooner than they had hoped! xx