Why Did I Go To The BBQ!!

[MissyRee]

Hi girls, i went to a friends birthday BBQ earlier and am feeling abit low after it to be honest, it was at my friends mums so her family was there aswell (who i get along with really well) but ive not seen them since ive been pregnant.
Basically everyone was asking like a million questions i felt really bombarded, i know its to be expected when your pregnant that people like to show interest but some of their questions and their replies have made me feel abit crap. Like when they asked how long i had left they answered straight after with things like "ooh not long left then, have you got everything ready incase he comes early as it could be anytime now" so i was like "well we've got some things, like loads of clothes, OH's mum is making a hamper with all stuff in (like nappies, shampoos, cotton wool, baby vests, nappy cream etc) and weve got some nappies, a changing table, a baby bath and moses basket with a rocking stand etc" and they were looking at me shocked saying "so you havent even got the pram yet then?!? Or a car seat or the cotbed??" it felt like they were really criticizing me like we should have everything and just be waiting around for LO to arrive.

Then they asked about names, now me and my OH have had 2 names in mind for weeks now that ive told my friends about before but suddenly when i said them some of my friends and my friends family had an opinion on them like "oh well i like that 1 but the other 1 sounds abit lardy-da! I dont like it" now i know everyone has their own opinions on things like names but i would never say to someone that i didnt like their childs possible future name!!

And a friend commented on how much food i was eating, i only had 2 sausages 1 burger and some salad is that alot then, i really wish i hadnt bothered going to the BBQ now as i also felt awkward as hell when leaving as everyone else was going out for the night clubbing so i didnt want to stay too long not knowing when they'd all be getting ready, i was there for a good 3hours though but my friend who's birthday it was went abit off with me cos i was leaving early

Sorry for the rant everyone just needed to get that out!!

 

[bunnymom1980]

Being pregnant seems to give everyone the right to pass opinion. Just ignore then hun.

Crikey your more organised than me and I'm almost 33 weeks

 

[nickilubs]

Awwww

Sorry you had a poo evening some people are so insensitive, they just dont think before they speak.

You are doing really well you have plenty of time to get things ready and if he does come early then you will deal with it at the time theres no point in stressing over it it makes it more enjoyable getting things over time instead of rushing everything xxx

 

[Tadpole]

Ach, don't worry about them. Like bunnymom said - everybody likes to have an opinion when you're pregnant. I got my pram the other week at 35 weeks - and people were telling me it was too soon and not to have it in the house.

I particularly love it when people who don't even have children tell me with total authority about how awful the birth is going to be.

Next time - stab them with a plastic fork and blame it on the hormones. Or burst into tears.

 

[MissyRee]

Thanks girls, i needed those hugs and kind words!! Am feeling abit better now, funny how you lovely forum ladies always make me feel better
I particularly like your idea of a plastic fork stabbing or just sitting and bursting into tears Tadpole, i think either would have taken them by surprise x

 

[NickyB]

It makes me really mad when people criticise your 'names', it's just not right!

Also, with regards to being organised, I hardly have anything apart from the cot and the pram (I was when I saw some, actually lots of people have bought clothes up to a year, I've been a bit shortsighted and only bought a coulple of newborn things and then 0-3. I have one or two things in 3-6), and I say don't worry. This sounds kinda pessimistic, but it's my way of thinking... if she's coming early I won't be able to bring her home right away anyway, so I can order everything online at the last minute.

 

[xHeatherx]

Just ignore them, you're doing great. I didn't buy a lot of stuff before Georgia arrived. I had what I would need immediately I came out the hospital, I did have a pushchair and car seat as it was a bargain. You will need a carseat if you are planning on coming home by car from the hospital. The cotbed I bought when she needed to go into a cotbed. Yes it is nice to have a little nursery set up beforehand but it's not set in stone and is your baby even going to know??

Ignore them, you've got a while yet.

 

[helsbels]

Oh bless your heart, I can totally relate. I went to a family party the other day and got bombarded with "advice" and opinions and when I said all we had bought was some on offer baby wipes there was a collective gasp! Similar to your lovely friend commenting on your food intake I had a busybody relative talking behind my back about my alcohol intake. Someone as a joke bought me a pint of beer - which I did not drink - later someone else bought me a bottle of beer - of which I drank half - the first since being pregnant. This relative spoke to my brother saying that I seemed to be drinking an awful lot as I had had a pint and two bottles of beer! All I had had was half a bottle and a hot chocolate all evening!!!! I was so mad
It seems that when you are pregnant you become public property and its OK to have people talking about you and judging you.

Don't let it get to you, people just can't help themselves if you love the name you have chosen thats all that counts, they don't have to choose those names. Next time ask them what their choice would be and give your opinion!
You have to this YOUR way, no one elses.


Oh BTW I went to a bbq the other day and ate 2 burgers, 2 bits of chicken, 3 (large) sausages and probably a whole big bag of kettle chips!! In addition to pasta and rice salads. Do I care - hell no I enjoyed every second although the indigestion later was a killer

 

[aramintalovegrove]

So so rude

You are doing fine Hun take no notice and it really gets my goat when people comment on names, my mum called our LO's name 'stupid' so she was told from now on she can call the baby moonshine as she didnt deserve to call my LO by the beautiful name I had pained over to choose

All a baby really needs is food, warmth and love, the added extras like prams and pretty clothes are things we choose to get to make our lives easier, so screw em and get them when you are good and ready!

 

[Ani]

Most of the time, when people make you feel like crap about things like not having a pram yet or your choice of names or whatever, its that they are envious of your situation.

Try ignore them, although I know its hard...

 

[dannii87]

That's really bad hun

I don't understand some people, I really don't People can be so insensitive.

Don't you worry yourself hun, as long as you have the essentials like nappies, somewhere to sleep and a few clothes - You produce the milk so baby will be fed, you have some clothes so baby will be warm, you have nappies so baby will be clean and you have somewhere to sleep, so baby will be comfy.

As long as you have those - You can get any other little bits when he's here if needs be!

And that is NOT a lot to eat!! I'd have taken that opportunity of being at a BBQ AND being pregnant to clear the bowls! And then lick them afterwards! lol Lord knows what they'd say about me if I was there!

Your friend should just be pleased you made it 3 hours with family like hers If she's being a bit off with you for leaving early, then she's a fool.

xxx

 

[Hazel]

I ate 6 sauages and some chips last night at the bbq we had at home. You didn't eat much.

 

[Jade&Evie]

Come over to mine for a BBQ- I'm not pregnant and I eat more than you!

You should have pointed out how much time you have left! You won't need to buy clothes- you'll have so many given to you! A pram you don't NEED until a week after baby is born anyway as you are under house arrest until the midwife says anyway!

If you ever fancy lunch or something without someone criticising everything then you know where I am

Sorry you didn't have a good time- I remember how hard it was being the 'pregnant mate'

 

[xJodieLoux]

Don't worry, sounds like you are alot more organised than I was at 30 weeks.

Some people can be really insensative, just ignore them though

And I would of ate 3 times that amount lol

 

[Steelgoddess]

PPl think when others are preggo they have the right to judge, make comments which they feel are fine but are not very nice imho.

EVERYONE comments on how huge my bump is which annoys me but these days i just brush it off but its not always that easy, so you may not of gotten a pram or cotbed its none of their business really, with regards to names as long as you have one u really know YOU love then sod them its not their bambino.

But i know totally how you feel and since being preggo i and im sure many of the others have come away from a situation feeling the same hope you feeling a bit better today don't u worry about those meanies!!

 

[MissyRee]

Aww thanks girls i only just realized more ppl had replied to me!
Reading your replies i got tears in my eyes cos your all soo nice (i love this forum you girls are lovely for support!) wish you girls had been at the BBQ they wouldnt say anything to lots of hungry pregnant women/ mummys!
I dont know why ppl think its ok to give their opinions on EVERYTHING when your pregnant but your right i'll just have to ignore their comments and perhaps not bother going to another of her BBQ's for awhile! xx

Also we could have our own lil BBQ ay Jade xx

 

[taika]

Glad you're feeling better

It's really rough how people all think they have a right to pass judgement on everything when you're pregnant - I've started to find it easier to just stay home. And for what it's worth, I shall add myself to the list of people who are far less organised than you with getting ready (even though I'm 33 weeks) and who would have eaten way more than you did! I loooove burgers...