When will it be my turn?

[MarshallsS88]

The hardest thing about being TTC for 2 years and suffering a miscarriage is when your friends tell you they're pregnant. I had this exact thing tonight, as well as the past few months 😔
I'm so happy for my friends but I'm always devasated. I'm envious and just want the happiness that they have, but also feel slight anger. I want to cry yet I feel numb inside. I smile and congratulate them yet my heart feels like it's been pulled out and trampled on. My positivity getting less and less each month. I have plenty of friends, yet I feel so alone, cos not one of them knows how I really feel even though they are there trying to support me they don't fully know how it feels each month.

When will me and my partner get a break?

 

[Pidgeridoo]

I know exactly where you are coming from! It's been two years for OH and I and thankfully only one couple we are close to has had a baby recently! I don't know how I will cope once more of our friends start announcing My cousin is currently pregnant, quite a few workmates, ALOT of acquaintances and pretty much half my town lol I feel like I'm becoming such a horrible person that I can't be happy for others! It's hard to be happy for others when it feels like you've been stabbed in the heart! I have to go visit our friends newborn baby next Saturday, can't think of anything that will hurt more at this current time!

 

[Alexis2017]

I hear you. I guess we got to hope it will happen, keep trying amd keep being a strong women. Pick yourself up and tell yourself to keep going. What else can we do? I'm not a quitter! My only deadline is time.

If we get through this....everything else is a piece of pie!

 

[MarshallsS88]

I've got 2 friends with babies, and now two pregnant. I have one of their baby showers to go to in November and I'm dreading it.
I feel awful and I sound like a horrible person when I'm not really, but I really don't want to go and have to put on a fake smile and pretend everything is ok, when not one of my friends actually ask how I am feel even though they know what I'm going through. It's all baby talk for my friend who's pregnant then they forget about me. I feel so bitter towards them but in fac my heart aches for what they've got.

Like you say all we can do is try and stay positive and hope that our turn will soon come, but until then we put on that pretend smile and bitch on here to people who actually know how we feel and can relate to us lol.

I totally know how you feel about going to visit your friends new born. I'm dreading it when that time comes around again for me. Try to stay positive and happy and have a very big cuddle off your partner once you've done it and been strong yet again.

Lots of luck to you both 🤞🏻 X

 

[xMillie]

I know the exact feeling

It's so hard.. hope we get our rainbows soon. I wouldn't wish a miscarriage on my worst enemy after going through it xx

 

[MarshallsS88]

It is so hard to try and be happy for people who have had a baby or are expecting, when you would give your right arm to have what they have. I currently have a few friends expecting and like you say everyone on Facebook seems to be expecting too, except for me. I know exactly what you mean about feeling like a horrible person, so do I. I'm so happy for them, but I hate it at the same time. I just can't show an interest, I can't text them to see how they are because I don't want to know, and I don't want to hear them go on about it.

But we have to try and keep going and remaining positive, that's all we can do. Put on a fake smile and go to see friends and their new borns and be happy for them, then when we get back to the comfort of our own homes with our partners, we can cry, bitch and moan and have a lovely big cuddle to comfort us.

I have my fingers tightly crossed for us all ���� X

 

[MarshallsS88]

It is so hard to try and be happy for people who have had a baby or are expecting, when you would give your right arm to have what they have. I currently have a few friends expecting and like you say everyone on Facebook seems to be expecting too, except for me. I know exactly what you mean about feeling like a horrible person, so do I. I'm so happy for them, but I hate it at the same time. I just can't show an interest, I can't text them to see how they are because I don't want to know, and I don't want to hear them go on about it.

But we have to try and keep going and remaining positive, that's all we can do. Put on a fake smile and go to see friends and their new borns and be happy for them, then when we get back to the comfort of our own homes with our partners, we can cry, bitch and moan and have a lovely big cuddle to comfort us.

I have my fingers tightly crossed for us all 🤞🏻 X

 

[Pinkz]

Same here. TTC since Jan. Had a miscarriage. 2 cycles since and just thoroughly fed up. Seeing people with their unplanned babies, people who smoked and drank throughout. It just breaks my heart

 

[snaggercelli]

I completely understand...

Been TTC for 3 years and my best friends, while sympathetic, just don't understand. One of my best friends had a baby 18 months ago. She told me in July that they'd start trying again for a second "if they could be bothered to have sex". Gee, thanks for that. Try being bothered every month for 3 years with endless disappointment!

Two weeks ago, she texted me to say, "is it is it ok to tell you that I feel a twinge of disappointment, or would you rather not here that? The first couple of months I didn't really feel disappointed. Last month DH was quite disappointed and this month I'm sure it's coming and I feel a little disappointed too. It's odd being the one to tell the other one too isn't it? Do you find it hard telling OH every month?"

Yes. I bloody well do. But I've had to tell him every month for 36 months.

Two days later she texted me to say that she was pregnant.

Less than 4 months it took, and she was drinking loads of wine and eating crap the whole time. Meanwhile I've been on my special fertility diet for 6 months, no alcohol, daily grapefruit juice, royal jelly, conception vitamins, acupuncture, women's herbs in my baths..... And still nothing.

FFS!

 

[millielaura]

I completely understand...

Been TTC for 3 years and my best friends, while sympathetic, just don't understand. One of my best friends had a baby 18 months ago. She told me in July that they'd start trying again for a second "if they could be bothered to have sex". Gee, thanks for that. Try being bothered every month for 3 years with endless disappointment!

Two weeks ago, she texted me to say, "is it is it ok to tell you that I feel a twinge of disappointment, or would you rather not here that? The first couple of months I didn't really feel disappointed. Last month DH was quite disappointed and this month I'm sure it's coming and I feel a little disappointed too. It's odd being the one to tell the other one too isn't it? Do you find it hard telling OH every month?"

Yes. I bloody well do. But I've had to tell him every month for 36 months.

Two days later she texted me to say that she was pregnant.

Less than 4 months it took, and she was drinking loads of wine and eating crap the whole time. Meanwhile I've been on my special fertility diet for 6 months, no alcohol, daily grapefruit juice, royal jelly, conception vitamins, acupuncture, women's herbs in my baths..... And still nothing.

FFS!

Oh it's so annoying when people can still eat and drink whatever they like and catch still Took nearly 3 years for my daughter whos nearly 9 months and been ttc for number 2 ever since I stopped bleeding postpartum and now she's coming up to 1 a lot of people I know locally with same age babies are starting ttc again. It's so depressing as I know I'm just going to be watching them have their babies like I had to watch people the first time round xx

Sent from my SM-G928F using Tapatalk

 

[MarshallsS88]

Snaggercelli, I know how you feel. It is so frustrating.
My friend who is a lesbian has been doing IUI with her partner, I had been texting her to see if it had worked for them and all the time she said no, then when I met up with her (in the middle of a restaurant) told me they're 4 months pregnant. I was so upset but I held it together, then as soon as I left I got onto the phone to my OH and told him, he felt so angry because they know we've been TTC for 2 years and she tells me in the middle of a restaurant. I have another friend who I've only just recently told, and she seemed to be sympathetic, but when ever I need a little moan about people being pregnant I don't feel I can rant to her anymore, she seems to be getting fed up, so I feel alone again, feel like it's just me and my OH against the world. Just praying we finally get a break.

 

[snaggercelli]

Snaggercelli, I know how you feel. It is so frustrating.
My friend who is a lesbian has been doing IUI with her partner, I had been texting her to see if it had worked for them and all the time she said no, then when I met up with her (in the middle of a restaurant) told me they're 4 months pregnant. I was so upset but I held it together, then as soon as I left I got onto the phone to my OH and told him, he felt so angry because they know we've been TTC for 2 years and she tells me in the middle of a restaurant. I have another friend who I've only just recently told, and she seemed to be sympathetic, but when ever I need a little moan about people being pregnant I don't feel I can rant to her anymore, she seems to be getting fed up, so I feel alone again, feel like it's just me and my OH against the world. Just praying we finally get a break.

They told you in the middle of a restaurant? FFS!

Honestly, what is wrong with people? Well done for holding it together...

I've been feeling marginally better since I started going for acupuncture about 6 weeks ago. The practitioner is very nice and a) has plenty of time to listen to me and b) does a good job of encouraging me to think positively. He was very sympathetic when I told him about my friend and my SIL, but he said, you need to think of it in a different way. You've every chance of getting pregnant, and it's a question of WHEN, not IF. So, the next time you're feeling blue, try telling yourself that their baby is just on its way a bit sooner, and that your time will come - it's just not quite yet.

I keep reminding myself of it, and it's quite a calming thought...

If you're struggling with who to talk to, I can definitely recommend someone who is paid to listen - there's no guilt involved and it means you're getting stuff off your chest on a regular basis, which is quite cathartic......

I do hope it happens for you soon.

 

[MarshallsS88]

Very true, I do like that saying. It's hard to try and remain positive isn't it, but that's all we can hold on to is the fact that it will happen it's just a case of when.
I do see my fertility doctor in 2 weeks to start the process of IUI, he keeps mentioning there's counselling available so I think I will take him up on the offer, get it all off my chest.

Let's hope our time is soon. X

 

[MarshallsS88]

Has anyone got any tips on how to get through my friends baby shower? I'm dreading it, not sure how I'll cope.

 

[snaggercelli]

Has anyone got any tips on how to get through my friends baby shower? I'm dreading it, not sure how I'll cope.

Oof... Do you really have to go? I can't help thinking it sounds like a bridge too far and maybe you just need an excuse to get out of it........ (>_<)

 

[MarshallsS88]

My OH keeps telling me to make an excuse and not go, but I can't help but feel a bad friend if I don't go.
Do I just go and face my demons?

 

[snaggercelli]

My OH keeps telling me to make an excuse and not go, but I can't help but feel a bad friend if I don't go.
Do I just go and face my demons?

It is a difficult one, but I sometimes think a little bit of self-preservation is necessary. If you're feeling vulnerable and sensitive about things, putting yourself in the line of fire might not be a good idea. I know what it's like to want to be a good friend, but you do also need to think about your own mental wellbeing at a difficult time.

I think that if I were in your shoes, I might send a card and a present and a cheery note to say that you're terribly sorry you can't make it but you have XXXX to do, but you hope everyone has a FABULOUS time and you can't wait to meet the new arrival and celebrate properly then. (By which time, maybe you will have your own good news - here's hoping!)

 

[Pop_x]

Hi ladies I am new to the forum thing but thought It might help to talk to others who know how i feel.

Me and my partner are TTC no2, we have a DS who is almost 4, he was not planned and I had a caseran. We have been TTC no2 for 2 years and 4 months and so far no luck. At 2 years I decided to seek help. Boyfriends test was all good and I’ve had blood tests and internal scan which showed good. Yesterday I had the hycosy test, which showed up both my tubes are clear.

My cycle is 30 days regular and I normaly get my smiley for OPK in day 17. Hospital have said that there’s no reason why we can not conceive naturally and I’ve been marked as ‘unexplained infertility’. They said my next steps would be IUI or IVF which I would have to fund myself.

I feel your pain ladies. My boyfriends niece and 1 of my friends had their baby’s a few months ago and my best friend is due next month. And one of my boyfriends friends is expecting twins with his fiancée in January. That’s without mums round the playschool announcing they are pregnant again.... I dread it everytime i hear them words ‘I’m pregnant’ Each time it just kills
Me Inside a bit more.

Hope we can spread some baby dust to eachother xx

 

[MarshallsS88]

Hi. I'm so sorry to hear you are going through this pain as well. You sound just like me, both me and my partner have had the all clear and we are classed as unexplained infertility, which I find even more frustrating because why is it not happening then if we are both fine?!

How come you have to fund IUI or IVF yourself? We've been told we can have 6 rounds of IUI and 2 rounds of IVF with the NHS for our area, which I feel quite lucky with.

I have my fingers crossed for us all. We'll hopefully be like all our friends soon and we get the chance to announce our pregnancy. I never thought about how people must be feeling before me and my partner started trying, but now I know exactly how they feel, and when we do get our happiness I don't think I'll shout it from the roof top incase I have any friends going through infertility issues alone. The feeling of being told someone's pregnant hits like a ton of bricks, so I'd hate to make someone else feel like that, however I do want my time to be happy like everyone else, if that makes sense?

 

[Pop_x]

Hi. I'm so sorry to hear you are going through this pain as well. You sound just like me, both me and my partner have had the all clear and we are classed as unexplained infertility, which I find even more frustrating because why is it not happening then if we are both fine?!

How come you have to fund IUI or IVF yourself? We've been told we can have 6 rounds of IUI and 2 rounds of IVF with the NHS for our area, which I feel quite lucky with.

I have my fingers crossed for us all. We'll hopefully be like all our friends soon and we get the chance to announce our pregnancy. I never thought about how people must be feeling before me and my partner started trying, but now I know exactly how they feel, and when we do get our happiness I don't think I'll shout it from the roof top incase I have any friends going through infertility issues alone. The feeling of being told someone's pregnant hits like a ton of bricks, so I'd hate to make someone else feel like that, however I do want my time to be happy like everyone else, if that makes sense?

Hey it defo is frustrating because if there’s no medical reasons why then why can’t we fall?
I won’t be offered further treatment free as I have already conceived my DS naturally. I think if I was TTC no1 I might be given more help. Also could be my area Funding.. Are u TTC no1 or 2?

Yes of course I can’t wait either and feel the same as you. The worst thing is when people keep asking me when we are going to give DS a sibling or ask me ‘don’t you want another one?’ People who hardly know me or nosy checkout people In tesco! I also suffer with IBS and am bloated most of the time with my pop belly (ok just some Of it might bel the entire terrys choclate orange I scoffed lol) ..but I get the usual ‘oh when is your baby due’ or ‘are u pregnant’ or getting offered a seat on the train.... *rolls eyes* and I want to scream in their face!

My mum went through a bad time she tryed with help of clomid and various tests etc for me 18 months but then tryed 10 years for her 2nd and ended up misscarrying. She has P.O. So I am lucky I can also speak to her and she knows exactly what it’s like.

I really hope we all get BFP very soon. Good luck with your IUI or IVF fingers crossed it does the trick or even better you book in for it all and just fall naturally beforehand xx