When to start TTC?! Help!

[Nikki849]

Hi I'm new here and need some help

I have a bit of a story to tell and not sure if this is the right place to talk about it or not but basically I would like to tell the story and then ask for your thoughts and advice on when to start TTC as I don't know!

Thanks in advance
Nikki
Xxx

 

[redbear]

Whats the story? xx

 

[Nikki849]

Hello Redbear

I am 32, will be 33 this year. Have been with my boyf since January last year and we have known one another for 5 years. He has two kids from his first marriage that are both under 10 and we see them every 2 weeks, his ex has moved them into another county recently so trying to get into a routine with them staying away from their mother for 1 night.
My career has been everything to me but I feel like I am ready to have a baby as I am happy with what I have achieved, not sure how it works with my job as I work for a consultancy and work away but that's less of a concern.

My concerns about TTC now are -
I'm not married and my mum will freak out about the fact I'm not
Should I get pregnant before I get married - my friend wished she had a childfree wedding day!
Is it too soon as the other kids are adjusting to them having moved away and the fact their dad doesn't live with them anymore.

My concerns if I don't TTC now are -
My age - if I wait another year it's another year of not trying so not knowing if it will happen easily or not so easily and if its the latter I've lost a year

Hope I've explained myself clearly!

Nik xxx

 

[redbear]

Yeh crystal, its difficult tbh, kids are really flexable I think and they would have 9 months plus to get settled anyway, And the marriage thing, I got married first but I would happily have had my children first. I think they would have been cute in little bridesmaid dresses. Your mum would get over it lol.

But if it doesn't feel right wait but if it where me I would be tempted to just go for it, your mum will soon move on from annoyed to happy don't worry xx

 

[KatR]

Hi Nikki, I agree with all that Redbear said but have one question: Is your BF ready for another baby? This may be another factor in your decision. I do think it wouldn't be too late in a year but it's easy to put it off for one year and it turn into longer. Good Luck

 

[Nikki849]

Hi Nikki, I agree with all that Redbear said but have one question: Is your BF ready for another baby? This may be another factor in your decision. I do think it wouldn't be too late in a year but it's easy to put it off for one year and it turn into longer. Good Luck

Hi Kat
Yeah he is ready so I feel v lucky!

Thanks both for your advice and support
Nikki
Xxx

 

[Vixx]

Hi Nikki,

Youre situation is similar to mine, whereby my career has always been my priority (well since I was 18 when I had my first son) and I am going to be 32 this year. I have recently split from my husband and have been with my new guy since Jan last year. We are so in love and would love a family together (he doesnt have any children nor has he been married before) and he is 30, so we are both concerned about our ages, especially mine.
Unfortunately for me, I still have to get divorced and sell my house with my ex before we can TTC which is very frustrating, so for me I have to wait until Aug/Sep. I would have preferred to have been married before having more children, but as suggested above, I would love them to be a part of the wedding, so either flower girls/page boys etc.

Just go with what feels right with you. As redbear said your mum will soon come around to the idea. I fell pregnant at 17 in a fairly unstable relationship and my mum told me about the "other" options available, as she didnt want me to ruin my future/career but soon after I told her my decision she came around and loved the idea and was just as excited as me. I hope this helps to put your mind at rest a little...? xxx