When blokes look at other women *updated :(*

[frangelle]

How are you feeling today hun? Everything OK? xxxx

 

[Riley's Mommy]

oh hun men can be so insensitive.

i cant believe what he said to you. i bet you look fine

meezie; i love that saying, hope you dont mind, but ive borrowed it

im doing it alone, but im lucky as ive got my parents, who are really good with helping me.

i havent even noticed the work load increase after my ex left. as i did it all anyway.

if he returns, best to have a good long chat about how your feeling, and tell him his comments dont help.

 

[foxymum]

have a hug kirsty hope you sort things out

 

[x-kirsty-x]

He came back last night at about half ten. We didnt speak, he just gave me a kiss and went to sleep.

I lay awake til 4 o clock just thinking about things. This morning he gave me a kiss before he left for work then he rang me a little while later to see how I was but we just started arguing again. We cant even talk without arguing

He said he was sorry about the comment he made. I told him that if he wanted to split up then just to tell me but he said he doesnt want to. To be honest I think I would've felt a bit relieved if he said he did cos I dont know how long we can go on like this.

Then I said Im not with him cos I NEED him, Im with him cos I WANT to be. I just need to make sure he knows I aint scared to be alone anymore. He was a bit shocked and said I sounded really sure of myself. Maybe cos I am now.

I also said to him that even though I love him and I trust him I still have major insecurities and theres always a part of me that will be thinking 'is he cheating on me' or 'does he fancy her more than me'. I cant help that. I wish I wasnt like this but I am. I told him if he can live with that then stay, if he's sick of me being paranoid then he should go. I cant let go of that worry about him cheating cos if I start thinking 'I believe him' and he is actually doing something then I'll look like a fooking mug

Half of me just wants to give up, I dunno whether I'll feel differently in a few days. I just dont know anymore

 

[purple13]

you poor thing. as if you haven't got enough on your plate with your 2 little ones...

just a thought, but have you considered going to counselling together? if you can't talk without arguing, it might help? or even if you could get a mutual friend to talk to the both of you seperately so that they can put the other's point across without it immediately being seen as a criticism?

when my OH and i fall out, i tend to write him letters - sounds daft, but it means that i can say what i need to without being drawn into another fight... he gets the message far quicker that way!

 

[Babylicious]

 

[Redshoes]

Just had to reply and send lots of these to you Kirsty, bless youx

If I can give any advice it would be that you cannot control anyone elses feelings and thoughts but your own, and so concentrate on them and getting them happy, and then you'll be fine with whatever comes your way You are a very pretty girl, he'd be very stupid to leave you, and the Mummy of his beautiful children

 

[x-kirsty-x]

Thankfully this whole mess is sorted out now! We made up on the phone yesterday so I thought things would be ok but when he got in from work he smelt of girls perfume (he said it was lynx )

That just set me off again and I just went on and on at him accusing him of cheating on me. We argued for a bit and then he softened a little bit and gave me a cuddle. Thats when I knew things would be alright.

We had a big talk and he said he wouldnt cheat on me, never has and never will and I finally believed him. I told him that he can look at girls as much as he wants, preferably when Im not there but I said if he's ever tempted to do more than look I want him to tell me its over first instead of doing anything behind my back.

We also talked about why Im insecure. I suffer from social anxiety - something else I've never admitted on here I cant go anywhere or talk to anyone I dont know very well without getting really paranoid. I hate being around people and I hate social situations. When I go out I feel like everyone is looking at me and judging me. It aint nice and it affects ever aspect of my life - getting a job, meeting new people, even talking to people I know. I cant even go across the road to the shop cos all it takes is one look from someone and I get mega paranoid. I want to go back to college but it just aint an option because of the anxiety.

Anyway, I think I've gone on long enough Just thought Id explain that theres a reason behind my insecurities

(I still dont know why he smelt of women though )

 

[Robyn_]

hope you are doing ok hunni

 

[Kimbo]

sorry im a couple of days late seeing your post... but hows things going now?

 

[x-kirsty-x]

sorry im a couple of days late seeing your post... but hows things going now?

Things are great now, thanks hun

 

Kirsty I sent you a PM did you get it sweetie?

 

[x-kirsty-x]

Kirsty I sent you a PM did you get it sweetie?

Not yet

When did you send it?

 

[Babylicious]

 

[Urchin]

Oh I only just saw this.
What a nightmare! I'm glad you stood up for yourself

Me and OH have been to "Relate" for couples counseling they are really great and having you talk over issues if you ever need them.

 

[x-kirsty-x]

Oh I only just saw this.
What a nightmare! I'm glad you stood up for yourself

Me and OH have been to "Relate" for couples counseling they are really great and having you talk over issues if you ever need them.

Thanks Urchin

 

[HappyAlice]

Kirstie I suffer from SA aswell, I know what you are going through

 

[libs]

Some of the lynx scents do smell like perfume My DS's room can smell like a tart's boudoir sometimes and I KNOW he doesn't have girls in there