What would you do? Birthday related.

[CARNAT22]

As you know James and daddy share their birthday and this year it falls on a Saturday.

Daddy wants to go to gig - fair do's - but it means he'll be leaving James at 6pm-ish. He also wants me to come (he will be going with 2 of his brothers and their partners) but I have point blank refused. OH thinks I am being completely ott.

His suggestion is we do something for James on the Friday and we have a family lunch on the day and get his mum round to babysit that evening . James could be asleep by 8ish if he doesn't nap (his naps are hit and miss)

I feel bad as it will be the last weekend before he starts nursery and we moved the day after their birthday last year [we spent the actual birthday packing, moving smaller bits and I was at the new place with the carpet fitters a few times during the day]

OH says he sacrificed birthday last year so wants to mark it this year.

My issue isn't with him going out but with both of us leaving him.

What do we all reckon?

X

 

[CARNAT22]

Ps I know it's not for months but it's a small gig and tickets will be sold out soon.

 

[Pin badge]

I would go with OH to the gig, your little man isn't going to know what day his birthday is on at that age. Is he aware that him and Daddy share a birthday? Maybe just pretend it is all on the Friday and do the grown up outing on the Saturday.

My Dad worked away when I was a child and missed lots of birthdays and Christmas' as we grew up, I've never remembered which and never held it against him lol! You'll be with him all day so I wouldn't worry too much about leaving him when he goes to bed. (Says the woman who has left her 15 month old twice ever lol! )

Xx

 

[Laurajcole]

Go get a new outfit. Get all dolled up and go to the gig.

Your spending your son's birthday with him. Celebrate during the day with cake and family etc. and then enjoy your night. your only going to be missing out on a few of hours of his birthday anyway.

 

[MrsT2011]

Yeah go to the gig. remember its your special day to, you gave birth to your amazing little boy and that's worth celebrating! X

 

[Orion]

Agreed. Your little one won't know the difference if you celebrate his on the Friday instead of the Saturday. It can be tough to share a birthday so I'd give your OH the benefit of the doubt in this case and go to the gig. My brothers birthday is in the same week as his little one and he had a princess party this year! Hardly fair, but soon your OH's birthday will be more like a kids party, so I'd let him celebrate his way whilst your little one won't notice.

 

[Mrs CW]

I would go to the gig. If you're having a family lunch and maybe doing something the day before I'm sure James will have a great time and won't be upset if you go out in the evening. My eldest sons birthday is Dec 29th, even though we've tried to keep it separate from Xmas it seems to get muddled together. Last year he had a party the weekend after and he thought it was his birthday then x

 

[Belfa]

I would go to the gig too. During the day I think I would do a "James" activity that will make his day - like soft play or something. Then by night he will be tired and will have had his day so you and DH can enjoy your night x

 

[russellmuscle]

Did B go to a gig last birthday ? I vaguely remember last year he went out at night or something?? Correct me if im wrong btw

Id say same as everyone else. You deserve a night out. Two kiddies every day is hard work and as the others have said could have a family thing Fri, do something daytime with James for his birthday then the rest of the evening with the other birthday boy. Also as they share a bday this will come up time to time.

Xxxx

 

[CARNAT22]

Good memory Clare.

It was the year before, so James' first birthday and yep it was a gig - his brother booked tickets without realising the date (numpty). Although OH didn't go in the end as both him and James were ill... I wasn't impressed - mainly with BIL who had forgotten it was both his brother and nephews birthday.

X

 

[mylullaby]

I think you should go this year but part of me thinks he's a bloody adult and will need to grow up and put his son (and his son's birthday) first from now on - I don't mean he shouldn't go to gigs or his life should now be dull, but birthday celebrations for children should always trump the birthday celebrations of adults in my opinion. I can't tell from your post if he's being an arse about what he wants to do, but if he is, I think it'll soon be time to knock that on the head - once James is old enough to understand his birthday he needs to come first and oh can make plans around him xxx

 

[russellmuscle]

I mean, what time is it your going to be back? I imagine itll be from like the tea time onwards youll be out? so just think of it as a shift but at night

I think its all about balance hun, maybe he might take being a SAHD a bit more smoother I think it be worse if you didnt get to see James atall that day, but if you get him the whole day then go out at night its fair? equal time?

My memory serves me good sometimes, some really random times, other times its shit

 

[littlemonkey]

Our youngest was born the day before my birthday and I spent my 35th birthday laid in a hospital bed recovering from a csection.

I've pretty much accepted my birthday comes second now. I've had my share and now it's my son's turn. Although I think as a mum you get used to being bottom of the heap anyway.

 

[Orion]

Yes your little ones birthday will come first when he is aware of what's happening - but this year he isn't, so I'd let your OH celebrate his.

 

[Juice]

This is probably the last year you'll be able to do this before James is old enough to properly understand birthdays. This year, you could celebrate on the Friday and he won't care if you go out on Saturday and won't know if you tell him a porkie pie about which day is his actual birthday.

And it's always loads of fun being looked after by a grandparent. Tell oh's mum to feed James icecream for tea and put him to bed late and just all round make sure he has a really good night whilst you're out!

 

[OMGbabyno3]

If it was his first bday I may not be able to leave, but I'd say celebrate during the day for LO and night for big one!

 

[nicky1987]

You should go! There will be plenty of james' birthdays in the future that will be taken up by sleepovers and kids parties! Let OH enjoy what will probably be one of his last that isn't ruled by hyper children lol you should def go with him too, make OH feel special too!

 

[H16]

I agree with everyone else, if you spend whole day making a fuss of your little boy (or do it the day before) then I see no problem in going out in evening for your OH's birthday, especially if you will only be going out a couple of hours before LO's bedtime. He will probably be super excited to have evening with his Nanny anyway and won't even care lol. We all know how grandparents love to spoil their grandkids, he will probably have a great time and I am sure your MIL will enjoy it just as much too so it is a win all round. Besides it is important to spend quality time with OH doing fun things as a couple - birthday or not, it helps remind us that we are important too and a happy healthy relationship is better for the kids to see xx

 

[MrsW84]

If your only going out in the evening won't he be in bed anyway?
U could out him to bed and be out by 6:30? Is that enough time for gig
But I wouldn't worry anyway if u do something nice in day that is the bit he will appreciate most x

 

[CARNAT22]

James doesnt go to sleep until 9pm (we've tried everything), even if he doesn't nap he still doesn't go down much earlier.

So we'd be leaving him for a good few hours on his birthday evening

X