What is with the pressure

[pinkyprincess]

To leave my LO.

My OH a few weeks ago was putting loads of pressure to leave my LO (who does not take a bottle!) so I agreed and went out for 2 hours to get my nails done and agreed we'd arrange a time for my mum to babysit so we can go out for dinner. I was not happy about it at the time and I'm still not. I'm insisting we go to the pub at the end of mums road so if I need to come home I can. We're meant to be doing that this weekend I'm dreading it.

My OH just rung me saying his boss wants to take us both out for dinner and drinks and for us to get a babysitter. This has actually really upset me as I'm not being dictated to as to when I'm leaving my baby. My OH has been told he either goes on his own or the baby comes with. I know his boss he won't want to go local he'll get pissed which I won't be able to do and I won't enjoy myself surrounded by drunk people.

My OH just said to me that 'I need to leave him as I don't want to turn him into the bitty man do i'

He's only 4 months old!

I feel really shitty now. Sorry for the ramble!

 

[beckyboo1]

Slightly early for Tyler to be turned into bitty man me thinks!!

I can totally understand how you feel. Surely your oh should be grateful you've agreed to go out thus weekend without starting to pressure you to go out again

Can you maybe suggest you try this one meal out as a starter for 10 then you'll both know how you and Tyler deal with it x

 

[pinkyprincess]

I don't mind leaving him in between feeds. It's just I have this total dread about leaving him without food!

 

[Hope81]

I wouldn't go really pinky... He can go all alone. I would be terrified to leave a 4 month old that Dosent take a bottle I mean in 2 months he will be in proper solid food and not so much harm then.

 

[knopk@]

There is something shameful about being close to your babies/children these days! WTF!
There is nothing wrong with you or Ty hun, my little man takes a bottle but i left him once with DH! If anything, he will the bitty man lol.
I wont mention names, but there was a book releases recently about how you should leave your baby with nannies.
I think it todays society wanting to make children independent before they are ready.
If you were comfortable with it, i would say go but if you are not, dont

Sent from my GT-I9100 using Tapatalk 2

 

[prettypenguin]

Pinky I get nagged ALL the time to leave him with OHs mum, or my mum and I don't want to! Not in a nasty way but they don't really listen (especially mil) and what is wrong with wanting to do it myself? People say oh its not healthy you need a break, and i do get breaks when people visit or when I do my driving lessons. You've already agreed to one thing, he shouldn't really put more on you, maybe once a week for an hour whilst you go for a meal or even cook at home and then whatever you feel comfortable with, its not against the law to love our children but a lot seem to treat us like it is x

 

[Hunnie]

I have to admit that I'll quite happily leave LO with my OH, MIL or mum on a daily basis but night time scares me a little as I'm so set in a routine and I wouldn't want anyone messing up the routine by getting it wrong. Id be more wary if she wouldn't take a bottle and I think that's why I'm happy to leave her as I know she will be fed properly all day.

 

[pinkyprincess]

I have to admit that I'll quite happily leave LO with my OH, MIL or mum on a daily basis but night time scares me a little as I'm so set in a routine and I wouldn't want anyone messing up the routine by getting it wrong. Id be more wary if she wouldn't take a bottle and I think that's why I'm happy to leave her as I know she will be fed properly all day.

Exactly! I was fine leaving him getting my nails done as I knew he was fed. If I knew he'd eat I'd jump at the chance lol!

 

[l_maclean]

I have to admit that I'll quite happily leave LO with my OH, MIL or mum on a daily basis but night time scares me a little as I'm so set in a routine and I wouldn't want anyone messing up the routine by getting it wrong. Id be more wary if she wouldn't take a bottle and I think that's why I'm happy to leave her as I know she will be fed properly all day.

Exactly! I was fine leaving him getting my nails done as I knew he was fed. If I knew he'd eat I'd jump at the chance lol!

Im the same as abi. Georgia is being abandoned 3 evenings this week. DH and I both have BB on monday, membership meeting for church tonight, and BB display on friday. so shes staying with his folks for a couple of hours tonight and tomorrow, and my auntie kept her on monday.

That said I wouldnt be at all comfortable if i thought she'd be starving!! I kinda think you're giving your mum a shot at trying him with the bottle might be good for you as he might be more inclined tp try if your not in the house ( i dunno ) - but if hes not willing to eat without you i dont see how your oh can expect you to leave him to go hungry!!! xxx

 

[hellywelly]

We are working up to leaving Evie with my mum next week for two hours while we go to the cinema!! Think it is important for me and OH to have some time together and E is FF so can leave plenty of milk with my mum. And I trust my mum implicitly (wouldn't leave her with anyone else at the moment other than my OH). She will be nearly 5 weeks old. But talking about it and actually doing it are two different things so not sure if I will actually get out of the door when it comes to it!! And I think I'll probably leave the film three times to ring and check she's ok!! I just feel like this is enough time not to feel like I've abandoned her, but a bit more than just 20mins which I feel I could cope with already. But it MUST feel comfortable in order for you to be happy, so if you aren't happy then I definitely wouldn't go.

 

[TORino]

I have the same problems.

My oh said to me yesterday, can you let mam take her for a few hours I just want to watch the tv in peace!?! I hit the roof, seriously. Where does he get off.

Do what you think is right Hun, I don't think going too far if he won't take a bottle is a good idea though x

 

[pinkyprincess]

I just had a go with the bottle and he drunk it then spat it out. He just can't seem to swallow :s I think he was more compliant with me tho funnily

 

[positivity :)]

I just had a go with the bottle and he drunk it then spat it out. He just can't seem to swallow :s I think he was more compliant with me tho funnily

i think you need to do it when you are ready and your OH will have to put up with it, everyone is different and like you say it's not that you don't want a night out, you just dont want to leave Tyler hungry.

i'm sure you have, but have you tried different teats/bottles? x

 

[pinkyprincess]

I just had a go with the bottle and he drunk it then spat it out. He just can't seem to swallow :s I think he was more compliant with me tho funnily

i think you need to do it when you are ready and your OH will have to put up with it, everyone is different and like you say it's not that you don't want a night out, you just dont want to leave Tyler hungry.

i'm sure you have, but have you tried different teats/bottles? x

Yup 3 different bottles 5 different types of dummy (thought if he took to one it would help us pick a teat) a doidy cup and I'm waiting for a tommee tippee beaker!

 

[Elliellie]

I wouldn't go! I'm not happy leaving Isaac even with OH for more than a couple of hours! He will drink expressed milk out of a bottle but it doesn't seem to settle him & no one else seems to be able to calm him if he's upset. I'd hate to think of him screaming his head off for hours I think it's completely natural for mothers to keep babies close. I'm having boob problems & might have to go into hospital for a bit, that terrifies me , really don't want to leave him & don't think OH will cope!

 

[Susanne]

I totally understand where you're coming from! My OH has been really pressurising me into leaving Samira with him when I said - jokingly - that it's not fair that there's never anything good on at the cinema and now that I can't go there are 2 films I'd actually really like to see. Thing is, she would take a bottle with expressed milk all right, but I don't think he would be able to settle her to bed as she always grumbles a bit at bedtime (not crying though, just sleepy noises) and he always takes her out of bed immediately if she makes any kind of noise, whereas at nighttime all you have to do is leave her for a few minutes and she'll go to sleep. And then I'd come home to a completely overtired and hysterically screaming baby - no thank you! Also, whilst she would take the bottle I don't see any real reason why she should have defrosted milk from a bottle instead of lovely fresh milk from me just because of some stupid film in the cinema which I can watch when it comes out on DVD. And finally, I just don't feel ready to leave her for several hours, which is no reflection whatsoever on his abilities as a father, but is just maternal instinct, and I don't think that's swamping her, personally I think that's absolutely fine and normal. So I completely refused to give in to his badgering, and he has given up now. Could you just put your foot down and say you're not going? Obviously I don't want to talk into having a fight with your OH; but if you let him badger you into going against your instincts and better judgement this time, won't he keep doing the same thing in the future? Hope you can sort it out somehow!

 

[Nurse 26]

thats crazy, if tyler wont take a bottle what do they expect you to do. i would say tell him to go out on his own, i woulnt want to leave baby without food either.

have you tried medela calma bottle, they are meant to use same sucking action as breast? im sure you prob have

xx

 

[pringle88]

Don't go! Your clearly not comfortable hun, my sister bought me a sister act ticket for last month and I didn't go coz I wasn't ready!

Tbh it pisses me off so much when ppl tell me when I should and shouldn't leave MY daughter! "it isn't healthy being together so much" WTF!!!

"you need a night out" well no actually I'd much rather spend the night with my daughter and not feel shit the following morning just so certain people can have Ella all to themselves!

Rant over!!

 

[katie_lou]

To leave my LO.

My OH a few weeks ago was putting loads of pressure to leave my LO (who does not take a bottle!) so I agreed and went out for 2 hours to get my nails done and agreed we'd arrange a time for my mum to babysit so we can go out for dinner. I was not happy about it at the time and I'm still not. I'm insisting we go to the pub at the end of mums road so if I need to come home I can. We're meant to be doing that this weekend I'm dreading it.

My OH just rung me saying his boss wants to take us both out for dinner and drinks and for us to get a babysitter. This has actually really upset me as I'm not being dictated to as to when I'm leaving my baby. My OH has been told he either goes on his own or the baby comes with. I know his boss he won't want to go local he'll get pissed which I won't be able to do and I won't enjoy myself surrounded by drunk people.

My OH just said to me that 'I need to leave him as I don't want to turn him into the bitty man do i'

He's only 4 months old!

I feel really shitty now. Sorry for the ramble!

I feel the same my family members keep asking when can they have ruby over night. They keep saying she needs to stay out while she's young as when she gets older she wi be clingy . Tbh am not ready to leave her over night she's only 13 weeks and I think it's too young . Xxxx

 

[jojo_2012]

I think one step at a time go local first just in case then if nanny manages to give a bottle you might be able to go further away.

Makes me kind of glad I don't have a social life getting in the way.