Crying it out? Is that me or him?

I was so angry with Damien tonight for not letting me eat my dinner (for the millionth time) and letting it go cold because I have to leave it till Mark can hold him yet again, that I put him in his cot to fall asleep on his own and was determined to leave him there, but over an hour later and he is still screaming like he's been smacked or something, a really awful piercing scream. And I'm in bits, How the hell do people do this? I've been up, put his dummy in, patted his bum and he lays down and closes his eyes, but as soon as I go he screams.

He has just gone off, at last, but I feel like the cruelest woman ever. I wanted peace and I ended up in a state.

 

[*saulino*]

Hi

aww hun Kiara did this too to start with when i would leave her to cry give it a few days and he will only cry a min then know your not coming . It is very hard i cried listening to Kiara but trust me it is very worth it!! Good luck hun
Katrina

 

[Lucy]

Hi Sami

How did Damien sleep last night?

What intervals were you going into him? We started controlled crying on saturday night but I couldn't do the advised gaps of 5,10,15,20 mins I had to keep going in after 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10 mins.

Lucy

 

[Xena]

aww that sucks. I know how you feel though. Lydia doesn't sleep if she's on her own.

What we do is put her in her cot (which is in our room) with a bottle of milk and she'll lay down and start sucking on it.
Then one of us (we take it in turns nightly) will stay with her. We just lay down on our bed and pretend to be asleep (whilst keeping an eye on her).
Eventually she falls asleep and you can tiptoe out of the room.

As long as she knows somebody is in the same room, this generally works.

If you put her down in her cot with her bottle though and leave her to it, she stands up and starts wailing her head off until you come back in and calm her down.

 

[Lindsay]

Sami how are you getting on now, is it getting easier for you?

Xxx

 

Nope, this child screams blue murder. I gave up, just can't do it. Gone back to being lucky if I get dinner warm (Mark eats his, then holds Damien so I can eat mine, I don't like Mark to have cold dinner after working all day).

I just feel so cruel. He cried himself into such a state the other night as I tried again, that he turned into the snot monster, couldn't breathe through his nose, was sick with reflux (not unusual) and his apnoea alarm went off because he couldn't catch a breath at all
How do I do it with that to contend with aswell?

The only thing which makes him sleep earlier (like last night he did 7am-7pm straight, no waking! First time ever) but I starved him of sleep pretty much all day, he only napped for just over and hour and was the most miserable sod by late afternoon

 

[Lindsay]

Aww hun sorry that it isn't working well for you. I have started to leave Jacob to cry in his cot (the advice of the health visitor) it's amazing how he will fall asleep on me when he has his last feed and will stay fast asleep until his head hits his cot then his eyes ping open! It will be the 5th night of doing it tonight, it hasn't been too bad (she says touching wood!) he hasn't cried himself into a choking state yet - that I couldn't cope with. I have just read your thread in first tri about not sleeping, sending you ((((hugs)))

Xxx

 

it's amazing how he will fall asleep on me when he has his last feed and will stay fast asleep until his head hits his cot then his eyes ping open!

Damien did this last night, when he fell asleep at 7, he was totally out of it, you could drop his hand with no response (the test!) but as soon as we put him in his cot he woke up and cried. I can leave him then, I shut the door to our bedroom and just let him cry and he went off within a few minutes. I have to stay deadly silent though because if he hears my voice he starts again It's just getting him to sleep without starving him of sleep in the day that's the problem.

Not sure if I want a miserable sod all day and warm dinner, or cold tea and a happy child

 

[Xena]

I dunno if you saw in the No Sleep Club thread about a week or so ago (you might have to go back some pages to find it) I posted a link to this pillow thing that's shaped like a hand and arm - you kind of put it on your baby and they think your arm is still on them when you put them down to sleep...I dunno if that would help at all but it might, you never know.

 

That's more for preemies/newborns isn't it? I think Damien would just throw it around his cot

I havent read that thread, lost it miles back!

 

[Xena]

yeh it is more for preemies and newborns I guess, but I was thinking that if you manage to rock him off to sleep in your arms, then when you put him down in bed if you immediately replace your arm with the pillow thinggy, he might just stay asleep and not realise.

I mean, you would still have to get him off to sleep, but it might work to keep him asleep. I do realise it wouldn't fool him if he were awake to start with though.

 

[Lindsay]

Sami, Jacob is the other way round the more sleep he has during the day the better he seems to sleep at night. I have started to give him a small teaspoon of baby rice at lunch time, since we have started this and the controlled crying he sleeps better during the day? he used to have 20 minutes on a morning now he has 60/90mins!! not sure why this has happened?!!

Xxx