What have I done. Am I wrong to feel this way?

[Sunnyb]

I'm 6 weeks & 4 days pregnant with my 2nd baby. I've just read my little boy his bedtime story & stroked his hair until he fell asleep as he's full of cold & took some settling. As I was standing there I started to cry, as I know I won't be able to give him 100% of my time after baby number two arrives. I know life will never be the same & as my son is five it'll have just been him, me & hubby. Am I being selfish? I thought it'd be great to have another & now I'm pregnant I'm just not so sure! I feel soooo bad as I know there are people out there desperate for children & can't have them.
I just feel so awful about feeling this way. Am I the only person that's ever felt like this?

Not so Sunnyb xxx

 

[Lacey's Mummy]

I've just had my 2nd and even though it was planned, I cried my heart out at the start of the pregnancy thinking how could I love another baby and would my daughter think I'm pushing her out but she loves him so much and you do love your 2nd as much! Just include your son in your pregnancy and he'll love being a big brother x x

 

[Sunnyb]

Thanks Lacey's mummy. That's a great help. I think when you've had one child for some time you get used to it. I worry about the age gap & jealousy & that he'll think he's no longer mummy's special boy. (which he will always be.)
Aren't hormones terrible!

Sunnyb xxx

 

[Yodabo]

I think it's a worry for all parents Hun. I have 7 yrs between all of mine and I've done my best to make each one of them didn't feel left out. I think the key is to get them involved with the baby from the start. We took ours to the scans, baby shopping, helped choosing names etc. It helped them be apart of the baby from day one.

I think that keeping some routines with your boy would be good too. If it's you that takes him to bed to read his book then maybe hand the baby over to your OH so you can still do it.etc...

Youll do just fine hun!

 

[Sunnyb]

Thanks Yodabo. We are going to get him involved as much as possible, as I don't want him to feel pushed out. My husband works 8-4 at the moment so loves bathing him & putting him to bed. I'm just worried as next year he will be returning to shift work & I know a lot of the time I'll have to see to both of them & so Joseph won't always be able to have 100% of my attention all the time. I want to get him to help me with the baby at bed time & put them to bed before him. I'm hoping this will make him feel grown up & he can then get all my time at bed time. Hopefully he won't feel pushed out that he's going to bed & baby stays up when they're younger. It might mean sneaking them down later, but if they settle I'd leave them asleep.
I've just got a million & one things whirling round in my mind, but the more I hear from people who have experienced this already, the calmer I seem to become about it.

Thanks for all of your advice xxx

 

[Archiesmummy]

iv'e had the same worries. I have a 2 year old boy and worry he will feel left out etc but i will still love him the same and he will know i do. Its going be hard but im sure he will understand that mummy still loves him alot and that she is still his mummy, just that he has a baby to help look after now. Im sure he will love it xx

 

[mdsremos]

I think every mother goes through this. I am surprised at how much my 4 year old is now looking forward to having a baby brother although he doesnt quite understand how much noise a baby will make and that he wont be running round for some time once he's here.
We went to parent evening and saw a family picture DS had drawn and was shocked to see that there was an extra little person with the name 'Oliver' above it....he had included the baby already!!!

 

[Sunnyb]

Oh that is so sweet! Joseph has been very much "I want a brother or sister" & then in the next breath saying "I don't want a brother or a sister".
But I'm guessing once he realises I'm pregnant & sees the scan & we get him involved, fingers crossed he'll come round to the idea. We've already discussed me not holding the baby when he comes to hospital (although I'm sure I'll be wanted to cuddle Joseph anyway) to help with the jealousy & also to give him a present from his new brother or sister.
We can but try, but I'm going to raise them in the hope they'll get along with each other!

Sunnyb xxx

 

[JJ Mum]

Oh Hun do not worry, your son will love a new baby , and you will find that a baby is soo portable to start with and sleepls alot, you will end up as I did over compensating for it, and your first born will still get the lion share of you and nore attention than ever before! He will love it. He will then be at school too fulltime and then will not see the time you spend with baby in the day anyway. It is part of his growing up and you have nothign to worry about. As the others said get him involved and excited.