What else do i need to do?

[Melly41]

Just had scan this morning (10+1) and sadly no longer a heartbeat. Confirmed a MMC. I have not had any cramps or bleeding at all
Im booked into the EPAU tomorrow but will they contact midwife to cancel future appts or do i need to? Ive tried dialing them but it either goes to answerphone (dont really want to leave a message) or i get tearful and cannot press the 'call' button. Also have no idea what to expect tom as not had a MC before. Will they offer me testing to find out what went wrong or is that not standard procedure?

 

[gesic]

I am so sorry to read this Melly, I was keeping up with your thread on April mummies as I think you are a similar age to me.
I went though a similar thing about 18 months ago now, unfortunately I had to ring the midwife to cancel but they were very understanding and sympathetic, it may be different for you depending on your area?
I waited a week before I went for medical management to be sure I hadn't got the dates wrong as I had never seen a heartbeat, I went back after a week was rescanned then went through medical management that night. Unfortunately for me it did not work, it was so ironic that I had spent those few weeks really worrying about miscarrying and even when I was given drugs to cause the evacuation of the pregnancy tissue it didn't work! I am told it does for most people though. I ended up going back for surgical management which for me was fine worked well and little/no discomfort. They didn't offer any testing to me as they said it was likely a chromosomal issue given our ages, but do ask as although they tend not to test until three consecutive losses I got the impression that sometimes they may make exceptions?
We did have a silver lining though, another healthy natural pregnancy 7-8 months later aged 44 and a healthy little girl. There has been a lot of heart ache to get where we are and I honestly thought I couldn't go through it again but am so glad we did.
Take some time to heal, get all the support you need and remember you managed to get pregnant....it could happen again and be absolutely fine like it was for us, hugs to you x

 

[Melly41]

Thank you gesic....sorry you went through this too but pleased to hear you were able to conceive again. Not sure what we will decide about another. We already have two so very thankful for that. I might try ringing midwife again on monday so we have the weekend to process it.It was just so surreal one minute waiting to have scan to then 5 mins later no longer being pregnant. Were trying to stsy positive but just need tomorrows scan at epau over and done with. Did you have cramps or bleeding? I havent so was a big shock this morninh. Thank you for your lovely message.

 

[gesic]

I think once you know what's happening you need closure so you can move on, be warned though sometimes it can hit you a bit after. I thought I was coping well until about 2 weeks after the procedure then I seen a post on FB that really hit a nerve and I got so upset for ages, I guess with a missed miscarriage it takes a while for the hormones to settle back to normal.
I had niggles with every pregnancy (only one went to term) so was always worried it was a sign of imminent MC however with that one I had no bleeding and even with medical management only slight spotting. I am so gutted for you, it wasn't expected and must have been so upsetting x

 

[Melly41]

Thanks again gesic.its really helpful to hear from you. It is so hard not having mc symptoms. Dreading scan and having to go through it at some point but like you say closure will help. Just want to get it out the way. Thanks xx

 

[xMillie]

So sorry to hear this Melly

Unfortunately as gestic said you do have to call the midwife and let them know to cancel further appointments, it took me a couple of weeks to bring myself to do it with my mc in July. I did leave a message as it's only an answerphone service and my midwife did call me back when she got the message. I missed the call but the message she left was very sympathetic and she said I could call her if I needed to talk.

Mine wasn't a mmc so not really sure how they work, and I don't think any testing is done unless you have had 3 miscarriages.

xx

 

[Melly41]

Thanks millie. I did ring midwife in the end....she was very nice and cancelled all appts. X