We're talking...

[jarjar7]

Ok so me and OH have made up today...he basically said he just feels like a sperm donor and that all we ever talk about is sex and when we should be having it etc...he wants us to talk about what it will be like when we have a baby, not just about the making of a baby...so now I only have one problem, I have been getting pains down low all day so I think I will get a darker line on my OPK tonight and tonight will be a good time to dtd...BUT, I cant now broach the subject cos I'll be doing exactly what he has asked me not to......I'm just hoping he makes the move for some make up sex, otherwise I will definitely be expecting the witch this month...His son is round from tomorrow so tonight is definitely the last chance before the dreaded 2ww...

 

[JJ Mum]

Oh Jar Jar, fingers crossed for tonight then, I see you are a bt caught
When you talked, did he actually say he see's it from your angle too? sex is'nt a;ways the same , but you see the end goal and can see past the short term issue?

 

[Lacey's Mummy]

Just try it on as "make up sex"! Don't mention babies, just act like it was before ttc!! My o/h can't resist sex so hopefully your o/h is the same!
Goodluck x x

 

[jarjar7]

He just said he feels like all we ever talk about is when we need to have sex and it makes him feel like I want it right now and I'm unhappy its not happened yet and that puts more pressure on him. He said he wants us to enjoy sex as part of making a baby, not just the be all and end all. I told him that the reason I talk about it so much is cos we dont have it enough so I panic when my days are coming closer and therefore put the pressure on...he then said if I stop talking about it and forcing it to happen then it would happen naturally (the sex that is)...
But he has a low sex drive anyway so even when it isn't the right days, if I want sex it is an effort for him...
xxxx

 

[JJ Mum]

ergghhh Men! It is alot of pressure on BOTH of you not just him. well you know I went through this same issue with mine it's a catch 22 , perhaps you should do what Ema -lou and stu did, get him on here with his own logon, and he can chat to the dads and us ladies, perhaps he will get a bit more caught up in it.

Perhaps he needs a task or something that will give him more control , perhaps ask him if he would like to instigate it or plan it each month, if you explain how it works, that way he has control, may be horrible for you , (you can keep an eye on your dates still secrety),but might make him feel like he is in charge and the boss, less stagefright maybee, and makle him take an activer role, and feel some of the burden each AF arrival?

just a wild idea , but you never know what makes men tick X

 

[frankie707]

I think tonight you could try doing a romantic evening for him (if that fits in to your days) with nice dinner/bit of wine and dress up for him If he feels like you are trying to make up with him and dont actually bring up sex then hopefully you can still be in with a shot this month! Devious but still a nice evening for you both

 

[jarjar7]

He wouldn't start using this site JJ, I cant explain why, he is just not into it all at all, he wonders sometimes why I'm even on here...But I have decided what I'm going to do...my OPK is as dark as the test line tonight so I need to dtd tonight so I am going to be nice to him all night, not mention it then just try it on when we go to bed...if he says no I wont kick off and next month I'll do it his way and see where it gets me...wish me luck!!! Lol...
xxxx

 

[frankie707]

Good luck

 

[jarjar7]

Thanks Frankie...cant believe you're almost 13 weeks already, still remember you getting your BFP!! Its flown by!!!
xxx

 

[frankie707]

I know its just mad! I'm sure it will be your turn soon, sending you lots of

 

[Bead]

Hope all goes well tonight JarJar! I think it's inevitable for all us longer-term ttc'ers that our OHs go through the "I'm just a sperm donor" phase at least once
Hang in there Xx

 

[Lacey's Mummy]

Goodluck hun, hope everything goes ok tonight x x

 

[jarjar7]

Thanks Ladies...I shall fill you in tomorrow!! Lol...
xxx

 

[JJ Mum]

good luck Jar Jar X

 

[Toonlass]

I had this problem with my OH to when we were trying for Jacob. The way i got round it was never to mention where i was in my cycle or when i was ovulating and i just pounced on him at random times of the month, but making sure i pounced at the right time in the end. I see his point, i really do but i understand your point too. Tell him nothing and have sex often, that way he will never know when the 'pressure' is on xx

 

[NatEvz]

Keep your chin up jarjar!I always like to make my O/H think that everything is his idea in the end, including sex Plant the seed so to speak. You come up with an idea or a suggestion and over time they think it was their idea in the first place and are very chuffed with themselves. You need to train your man into thinking that each time you DTD that it was his idea in the first place. Keep smiling chick xxx

 

[jarjar7]

Thanks Ladies, I have started another thread to let you all know how I got on!!
xxxx