Wanting to breastfeed

[Adele]

I really want to breastfeed this baby when she (hopefully) makes an appearence in the next couple of weeks. I tried to breastfeed Chloe, without realising at the time that she was tongue tied and thats why she couldn't latch on, she got so upset and frustrated after a day of not having a milk I thought it would be better for her to have formula. And as soon as I said the word formula to the midwives it was like oh thank god for that, they didnt try to encourage me at all

So now I'm really hoping this baby isn't tongue tied, and am determined to persist at breastfeeding her, the thing is I know if i do i have no support, unless its from my midwife or health visitor. My OH wont really talk about it, even when ive tried explaining to him what breastfeeding this baby would mean (no expressing until 4 weeks etc) and he doesnt seem interested at all, and seems to think the idea is repulsive

We live with his parents still atm and when I told his mom what I intended to do just sounded miffed that she wouldnt be able to help feed the baby, so now i have horrible visions of me being stuck up in our bedroom feeding this baby, with no support from any of my family...

I know its a case of wait and see what happens, and i dont really know why im posting about it, to get it off my chest i guess, atleast the women here will listen to me...

maybe its hormones and knowing shes going to be here very soon, with fear of my depression coming back, im probably over reacting but its just really getting me down atm...

 

[Redshoes]

Adele
If there's one thing you'll get bundles of from here, its support
I'm sure you feel BF'ing is a very personal thing, and so the biggest 'battle' is if YOU want to do it, and you do wish to try and so you go for it and once your OH and the parents see how happy it makes you and LO, then maybe they'll come round to the idea, its not initially everyone's cup of tea unfortunately I'm sure Chloe will support you, and find it interesting to talk about too, so don't feel you'll be 'stuck up in your bedroom' alone, because you'll be with your LO and you'll have support here from many women, some of whom will probably have experience like yours to share too
Most importantly, keep talking, posting, about it, you are not alone and you are making a big personal choice that effects both you and your LO and it should be encouraged as its what you want
Very best wishes, how long before your LO arrives? You'll have to let us all know how it goes

 

[Emmylou]

Aww hun, wanted to give you hugs first if OH's mum is really worrying about not getting to feed LO, then tell her you have made your decision and she is welcome to help with nappy changing if she wants to help raise her that badly!!
At end of day, this is your daughter, she has had her children, and her grandchild needs its mother first and foremost.
Try to be relaxed (as much as you can), & try to feel positive about the bf'ing.
If it doesn't happen for one reason or another, don't beat yourself up over it, you are human and your happiness & sanity is important.
Lots of luck hun, you will find bundles of support on here there are so many bf'ers on here who are very helpful & informative, so rest in the knowledge you have somewhere to turn if ever you need to

 

[Urchin]

Good luck Adele, don't listen to the OH's mum, she's just being selfish if she doesn't want your to BF just so she can feed baby. They'll be loads of other ways for her to help, like bathing and talking for a walk etc. its not all about feeds.

We're here to help, hope you get on better this time

 

[Adele]

Thanks for you replies It just feels like something i really need to do for me and my baby, yet no one else seems to understand or want me to. When I first mentioned it to OH he told me that I would be treating this one better than I did Chloe becuase i didnt breastfeed her, which made me feel like s**t and wonder whats the point...
I took so long in bonding with Chloe and had PND because everyone else (mainly OH's parents) were taking over without realising, which makes me want to BF this one even more, because then they cant take over!
I'm guna give it my best shot and hopefully WILL get the support from my OH that I should be getting anyway..

 

[trixipaws]

u got support from me!

i agree with what urchin and em said about MIL, never mind her its YOUR baby!

and like em said, dont feel bad if it doesnt work out. we all here 4 u tho 2 help if we can

 

[Urchin]

When I first mentioned it to OH he told me that I would be treating this one better than I did Chloe becuase i didnt breastfeed her, which made me feel like s**t and wonder whats the point...

Thats awful you should tell him NOT to say that again, as if y ou need a guilt trip over it!!

Any time you find yourself thinking things like that, remember that Chloe has had your 1 on 1 undivided attention for the start for her life... this baby will ALWAYS have to share you, so it will be like a little extra bonding thing you can do with this baby to make up for the sharing.

 

[siobhan]

My tales of breast feeding are nearly exactly the same as yours, except my partner was more supportive. We lived with my MIL and she told me if I wanted to bf I had to do it up in my room and I should never let anyone see me do it. This sort of stuck with me and I had an absolute nightmare. I was 21 and I felt like when I asked my midwife for help she just shrugged it off with me been young. I ended up giving up feeding after a few weeks. Surprise surprise my MIL took over trying to do bottles etc all the time.

However, there is hope!!

I had my second a year ago, and I fed him till he was 1! It was tough but not as tough as the first time. I think everyone expected me to cave in, but to be honest it was easier to bf with my first running riot as there was no need for sterilising, making bottles etc!

I really hope you can do it this time, if its what you want. If you want to pm me thats fine, as I really do know what this situation is like!

 

[Nicky_Jones]

I would recommend finding out where you local BF support group is and I would recommend going along as soon as you can after your LO is born. If I hadn't gone to our local group I wouldn't have made it BF as I had flat nipples and Ellie had nothing to latch onto. Good luck. I have had the same sort of reaction from my MIL. Thankfully though my OH is very supportive and we live in our own house to it is our own rules.

 

[mamichuli]

Aww bless you, dont worry hun, you will always have TONS of support here.
Dont let your OHs family pressure you into doing anything you dont want to do... if she wants to feed the baby, she'll just have to wait until LO is weaning. Another option, if you want a peace treaty is for you to express the occasional bottle once LO has got a routine with BF (its best not to express until you have a routine, a few weeks and babe is latching on well).
Hope your birth is just as you want it

Lisa

 

[xNataliex]

Come on here for as much support as you need!!!!!

BF will surely help bonding and avoiding PND so hopefully will make things easir in the long run. Once you get established there really is no feeling like feeding your child and just doing it will make you feel stronger and more confident against peoples comments.

My babe Joey has a tongue tie so we did struggle a little but he kind of outgrew it at 2 1/2 months.

Your MIL is out of order and needs to back off!!!!!

 

[Adele]

Thanks again for you replies ive spoken to OH about it, he said he will be supportive, but we will have to see. I'm more determined than ever to BF her successfully, so hoping things go smoothly. id just hate to not have that bond with this one like last time, she is my baby so what i say goes!

 

[*saulino*]

Hi

Good for you hun stick to what you want to do in the end no one can tell you what to do but i know its hard when you dont have support.

I do have some family and friends who try and get me to stop or say you wont be able to do it for a year like Kiara bla bla bla but really if your determined enough you can get through it.
Yes the first few weeks are tough but after that its like nothing .
Did you know they can cut underneath your babies tongue to fix the tongue tie??? Kiara was tongue tied and they were going to do this as Kiara was having troubles feeding but just before i was gonna get it done it fixed it self ( broke on its own)

Good luck hun and were here if you need us
Katrina