Visitors

[Rosieroo]

Am I the only one who doesn't relish company at the moment?

DH went back to work on Tuesday and I am enjoying trying to get into my routine with Ella. Having visitors in the day is upsetting this and I don't need the adult stimulation at the moment, it's too tiring. Yesterday I had 3 different visitors and my mum, and it was just too much. If its my mum then I can just get on with things, but I can't with others there. Today someone is coming over at 1.30 and I am dreading it. I just want to get my house tidy and spend some quiet time with my little girl!!

 

[lulu]

I would ring and say your poorly or something. You should think about yourself and Ella and put yourselves first.

Plus if your stressed Ella will pick up on that and your milk flow will also be affected!

Dont put yourself under any unnessecary stress!!

 

[Yvonne]

Jack is only 2 days old, i have had 2 visitors which was my grandma, which i invited anyway.

Whats annoying me is the other visitor is OH's mum, who bearing in mind i hadn't seen since August, she hasn't rung or wanted to see Amy. It was a case of if we wanted Amy to still know her nana we had to take her there!!

But now Jack is born she has been round both days!

I feel like i can't say anything as she's not my mum and OH is saying she will get bored in a bit, but it isn't fair on Amy as her nana is visiting at last but not to see her but to see te baby that she is feeling resentful of as it is!!
You should see her face whan her nana picks the new baby up, i am going to have to stop her coming poor Amy doesn't understand what she's done and i am not having her unhappy.

 

[emilia]

I have 2 suggestions...

1. Put a sign on the door saying "BUGGER OFF".... only joking (you'll think of something more diplomatic)
2. Put the answering machine on and ignore unimportant calls.

This time is SO precious for all of us. We're still learning all about our babies and getting to know them and they us. We shouldn't let anything or anyone spoil this special time for us. I guess we have to be firm!

Good luck
Emilia xx

 

[Kerry]

I plan to be completely honest this time around and just say NO when i don't want visitors. Everyone wants to see the baby but you need time alone with him / her too and just time to yourself as a family / couple. As I am having this one at home I know it will be harder to stop people from turning up at all hours so I am getting touch and telling people I will ring them when I feel up to visitors. We also aren't telling anyone when I go into labour as I have visions of all my family sat on my garden wall or peering through windows!! How awful!!!

Also when they do come, let them make you a cup of tea, don't feel that you should be running around after people!! It can be a tough time when people are in your face all the time when all you want to do is sleep and bond with your baby.

Be tough.........I'm gonna!!

 

[Rosieroo]

Well she was here for a couple of hours and I had to use up the milk I had expressed for Ella for later as I didn't feel I could breastfeed her in front of her, unfortunately it wasn't enough to get her settled back down so I had to give her the breast after she left, which means I don't have much to express now. It's really hard trying to get into a feeding/expressing routine with people coming around!

 

[ToriElla]

people should respect your feelings. i'm starting to feel a little like this already and the baby isn't even here yet. today is the first day i've spent completely alone for a good few weeks and i can't rest when people are here.

my friend said that when she brought her baby home from the hospital - loads of people had come over to visit and see the baby. they were all in her house and she just wanted to have some time with the baby and her husband . they were all throwing baby presents at her and stuff and she just wanted to cry.

are people fighting over holding your baby too? it must be confusing if there are too many people around for the poor baby.

 

[Skidoo]

At our ante-natal class we were told to make A and B lists of visitors. A list visitors are those you can bear to see immediately (or have to - close family etc) and B list are those you do not let in until you're ready!!

It's been said before, but stick a note on the door 'mother and baby doing fine - call in a couple of weeks' and a similar message on the answer machine and tough it out - don't let them grind you down ;o)

 

[Lauz_1601]

I can totally relate to this! Its really hard, all you want to do is be with the baby by yourself for some quiet time, especially in those first few days when you dont feel 100% either.

The thing I hated the most was visitors who just turned up without calling first, becuase im like you rosieroo and dont feel comfortable breastfeeding in front of people (other than my partner,mum,sister and nan). Id be sat settled on the sofa feeding Ella and unexpected visitors meant Id have to run upstairs baby still attached to my boob lol!

Be firm put your foot down! although i know its easier said than done!

 

[Hypnorm]

my hubby told every one before the baby was born that we would let people know when I felt up to visitors, and after he was born if anyone phoned or popped round Hubby would say No- if i didn't feel up to it or he would say that we would give them aring when it was convienient to us.
It worked well and people seemed to respect it - more so the one with the kids

 

[tracyM]

I've turned into a right stroppy cow this time and I don't care. With the others I put up with visitors at all hours, so now if anyone comes round, they get told where the kettle is, get given a pile of clothes to take up to one of the kids bedrooms or the hoover. We've also told people to visit when the other kids are around and make a fuss of them before Alex (Charlotte got upset when grandad visited and she was at school - he only normally visits on birthdays).

There's only a few people that haven't come back, regular visitors now head straight for the kettle and ask if anything needs doing wondering how long I can keep it up for - I'll never need to do housework ever again

Tracy xx

 

[Rosieroo]

I think I will try that when the in laws come over again TracyM! They just sit there and wait for her to wake up or for me to finish feeding. Nothing like when my own mum comes over and rolls her sleeves up to help!