Visiting family members.

[lauramumof2]

I find this thread a bit sad

the amount of grandparents who dont make a effort to see their own flesh and blood is a shame.

I have neighbours across the road who take my wee girl once a week for a few hours and often dinner, thats the kind of thing that grandparents do.

 

[Tangerinedream]

OH's parents see Jake about once a week for an hour or so. My mum lives 200 miles away and has only seen Jake about 5 times

 

[sazzylou]

my mum makes the effort to come and visit Beth about 3 times a week after school. I wouldnt want her to come any more often TBH cos my mum can get a bit clingy and wants to come everyday which is a bit much, bless her, but 3 times a week is cool 8) She lives about 10 mins drive away and works in the area, so its easy for her.

MIL and FIL on the other hand ..... They only live 5 mins drive away (its literally up the road) theyre both retired so could come round whenever they like, but they only see her once every couple of weeks, and we have to take her round there or they start moaning. Now just cos ive said theyre retired, please dont imagine some doddery old couple. Theyre loaded, which is why theyre both retired, and they go on holiddays to egypt and Gambia at least 4 - 5 times a year, but they cant be arsed to get in the car and come and see Beth when she finishes school. My MIL then starts moaning at me, even though ive told her we dont visit ANYONE at the weekends. The weekends are for us, as its the only time we can be all together. I find them so annoying. They live right next to a petting zoo, a park and a big indoor play centre thingy, but its like they'll only see her if she goes round there (and half the time she doesnt want to cos she finds it boring ) sorry....that turned into a bit of a rant

I know how you feel about wanting to spend time together as a family at the weekends. It's important and sometimes I think people forget how busy we can be. xxx

Exactly....thing is, Mil and Fil are only 5 mins up the road....in a car, and i dont drive! Its quite a bit longer to walk it, and Beth's so tired after school theres no way i'd make her do that. MIL gets quite shirty if we dont visit at the weekend, but ive had to say our weekends are precious. We dont see anyone on my side of the family either, (but i think she thinks we secretly visit my mum or something -we dont) And with the new baby coming in a few weeks, we're spending lots of quality time with Beth while she's still the only sproggy we've got. They are welcome to visit her ANYTIME they like after school, but they never do

 

[heles7]

all those of you who say that the grandparents don't visit often when they are very welcome;

do you actively ever invite them or are you assuming they would/should just come without an advance invite??

I'm sure my problem will be more getting rid of my mum but I just wondered...

 

[Hara]

Althought we are still ttc, I don't think we'll have this problem. We live in Cyprus and our mothers both live in the UK. I would love to be able to moan that i see them too much or not enough.

 

[sazzylou]

all those of you who say that the grandparents don't visit often when they are very welcome;

do you actively ever invite them or are you assuming they would/should just come without an advance invite??

I'm sure my problem will be more getting rid of my mum but I just wondered...

we invite ours over all the time. Mil moaning is a weekly thing y'see, lol. I have to make a huge effort to make her feel welcome and i do invite her round, but it doesnt seem to get through

 

[lauramumof2]

all those of you who say that the grandparents don't visit often when they are very welcome;

do you actively ever invite them or are you assuming they would/should just come without an advance invite??

I'm sure my problem will be more getting rid of my mum but I just wondered...

I see your point. Ive never been a wait to be invited person tho. My mum wouldnt wait to be invited, my dad just pops in for a coffee then after 10 mins he is off.
I dont think I should have to invite them over. MIL has popped in before but when she has been at the hairdressers and she has phoned about 4 days in advance for this half hour visit. Its very nice to see her but I do emphasise that its never a problem for her to come over or see the kids.
I dont particularly want the kids to go over at weekends because they never do anything with them. They could just as well be sitting in their own house, at least they have the run of the house.
I cant help but think that if it was my grandkids I would want to take them out every now and again. To a park or something, somewhere interesting. Im probably being selfish, I sure one of you will let me know.

 

[Misslarue]

My mum lives around the corner so we see her quite a bit. My dad lives in kent but he/we do make the effort to see each other. OH's dad has just moved to Bahrain, but lived in Japan before that and Hongkong before that...........so has a good excuse OH's mum could visit more than she does.

 

[-Kelly-]

My mum and stepdad and my OH's parents both live over 250 miles away, so while they see him as often as they can, it's only about once a month or less because of the cost/travelling/having to get the time off work.

My dad lives 5 minutes away and sees my son every week or two, but that's usually because we do the food shopping together once a fortnight, so he doesn't actually spend much of that time cuddling or playing with him.

So overall, the people who see him less often probably have more of a bond with him because when they do see him it's special so they spend a lot of time holding him etc.

 

[emma28]

My parents live an hour away. They take Jonah from 1pm Friday and bring him back on Sunday sometime after lunch. My Mam often needs reminding that he is MINE.

We do keep him when we want a day out or whatever but Mam needs advance warning and threatens me with solicitors if I keep him over 2 weekends

They will take Abigail soon too, or I won't let Jonah go. I don't want my children to be aware of any favouritism as I always was when I was growing up.

The in-laws, we try and see every weekend too, we will call round after Jonah is home. When I go back to work, they will take both of them every wednesday for an hour and a half.

I don't much like people coming here, so we tend to always go there.

 

[NIE]

Deleted. x