UPDATED: Stress: Help! *Warning: Long Post!*

[dannii87]

UPDATED POST:

Hello again!

I feel SOOO much better today.

I saw my solicitor this afternoon who read through everything I'd written down and said I had a strong case! Also found out that I had been subject to Sex Discrimination

She is sending me some information based on our conversation which will tell me my options and will give me information to take to the company demanding grievance stuff, terms & conditions (neither of which the company has).

In the mean time, I've spent this morning finishing a website which I got from Mr Site - I'm thinking about setting up myself. The solicitor said legally I am able to do this although I'm at risk of being sacked for it. So I might leave it until I start my maternity leave.

I'm thinking of stealing her clients because they mark up at every opportunity without the client knowing (illegal). I love those clients and love what I do!

www.dpbookings.com

What do you think?! xx

PREVIOUS POST:

I'm so stressed out at work.

I've been really struggling to cope with my work and just cannot seem to settle in the evenings knowing I have to go back the next day...

I've worked there for 3 years and in that time I feel I have been bullied by the MD. Just a couple of things (believe me, there are plenty more!);

****************************
Employee: DANNII

· Numerous comments on my breasts (she is a lesbian so very uncalled for)

· Wendy said that although she helped Heidi out by offering her a part time position after her maternity leave, she won’t do that for me (angry because I am pregnant)

· Wendy constantly tried to talk me into having an abortion. (PUBLIC & PRIVATE)

· When I first told Wendy I was pregnant, her reply was “you’re not keeping it are you?” then the next day, she said she would give me money for an abortion. (PUBLIC) – This was in front of Fay.

· Heather (Wendy’s best friend who also worked with us for approximately a year) also agreed that I should have an abortion and kept calling me whilst I was at home to talk me into it. In the end, I ignored her phone calls and Wendy called me one day after work, I answered, and she said “don’t ignore my friend” and put me onto Heather who then questioned me about ignoring her.

· Wendy whispers to me sometimes about what someone is wearing for example and will laugh.

· Wendy offered me a promotion from Reservations Administrator to Reservations Supervisor to start 1st November, but did NOT explain that my pay rise would begin at the start of January! When I discovered this a week later, Wendy agreed to give me £100 cash for November and another £100 for December. I received November’s, but have never received December’s.

· “You’re a fucking drama queen, you make dramas out of nothing” (PRIVATE)

· After a few discussions when I would get upset at how Wendy spoke to me, she would say “oh here we go, fucking waterworks”

· When Wendy bought Hotel Options, they had a specific way of dealing with a certain client which I was made to learn in a few days. I was unclear and told Wendy I didn’t know how to organise their bookings and needed more time to learn but she sacked Nathan, the lad who had been teaching me. After a few months, the client decided it wasn’t working for them as I had not been trained to deal with their requirements properly. For a few weeks after this, Wendy would make public sarcastic comments such as “I can’t go food shopping this week because YOU lost me BSI!” and “BSI was the whole bloody reason I bought that company” and She would claim she was joking, but it really affected me and I told her it affected me. This didn’t stop straight away.

· Wendy made up songs about me losing BSI and when I got upset and said “if I’m that bad, why am I here?” and she came right up to my face and shouted “Don’t you DARE threaten me with leaving love”.

· I was late twice in one week due to my car and Wendy and Fay brought me into the office and told me off and said I was not co-operating. Fay was late a lot and never got reprimanded.

· I found another job and Wendy put a lot of pressure on me to stay by saying she would offer me sales work as that was the role I went for. I stayed with Wendy’s company and never got that opportunity.
****************************

On Monday my Manager (who is usually in on the picking), called me into the office and told me I was causing an atmosphere (even though we don't even work in the same office!) I basically said that there were a few things she had said/done that had upset me, we sorted it and I got back to my work.

Tuesday, the MD came into the open ofice (where there are me and 5 other girls working) and whispered (quite loudly) "why are you arguing with Fay ay?" I was really upset, this happens all the time. Fay (Manager) makes out that I cause a problem and calls Wendy as soon as she's had words with me to tell her that I'd upset her...

I was upset all afternoon so yesterday morning, I asked Fay if I could have a chat with her (MD was working from home) so she told me to stop what I was doing and "get in her office now" so I did. When I got in there, I said that I was upset that this kept happening and that I felt isolated by them both.

Without saying a word she angrily dialled the MDs home number and started hyperventilating and saying I was in her office upsetting her and that she wants Wendy (MD) to have words with me!! SO, I spoke to Wendy and she said "I did NOT f*cking say anything to you yesterday about arguing with Fay you drama queen" and completely lied!! Fay sat there with a smug face and said "see?"

I ran out and couldn't go back... She's making my work life a misery. Constantly picking on me etc. I'm not in again today. I spoke to CAB and they said to record it (see in blue) that's only part of it - there's a lot more!

When I spoke to my colleagues, one other girl heard her say "Why are you arguing with Fay ay?" (angrily)

SO...
- Do I have a case if I take her to tribunal?
- Also, if I get 2 weeks off due to stress by the docs, how will that affect my pay?

Even if I do get 2 weeks off, I am absolutely sh*tting myself about going back...

I have a docs appointment (sh*t - I forgot what time it was!! It's about 3 I think) so I'll let you know if I get my much needed 2 weeks off...

 

[dannii87]

Also, to add:

- No one in the office has a contract despite us asking lots of times
- She advertises as a free service and makes us add £10 to each hotel reservation and up to £100 for conference bookings

That's illegal right? xx

 

[Sherlock]

With regards to if you have a case, only an employment solicitor could tell you that. You list so many incidents, that s/he would have to consider what would possibly stand up and what would not. Its not an easy path to go down. I looked into sexual discrimination (because of being pregnant) and a few other things with a former employer before. My legal advisor told me I had a case, but that some aspects of it he would not bother with. It is really a case by case basis and if your employed has been treating you like this since before you became PG then its possibly another can of worms. If you are looking at the discrimination since becoming PG, then some of what you say does sound like it will hold up.

I'd search round your local employment specialist solicitors, decent ones, not these dodgy groups, and give them a call. They often offer weekly consult clinics for free where you can go see them and have half an hour of their time so they can assess things. Or some will talk to you over the phone to see if its worth you pursuing things and coming in to see them.

Often just knowing you have had legal advice from a solicitor who knows his/her stuff can scare a boss into playing nice. A solicitor can advise you what to put in writing etc.

CAB can advise you on your contract rights also. By law if you ask to be provided with one they have to oblige within a timeframe. CAB can tell you what to say to put it in writing requesting this. Give them a call and ask.

Drop me a PM if you need anything else.

Good luck

 

[Miss.Monroe]

jesus dannii! thats awful, i would say yes you definalty have a case!

you say you have been at the company for 3 years? my mum had 6 months off work with depression, im not sure how much of it she got paid for though. You should get sick pay or something like that for at least a month.

i cant belive that you have been putting up with that at work, its just insane! you poor thing. xxx

 

[Sherlock]

With regards to sick pay. The first 3 days on are you and therefore unpaid. After that its SSP which is something like £72 a week (don't quote me on that, check with the benefits or DWP websites to read up on entitlements)

But they (your bosses) cannot do anything if you have a sick note.

 

[Neev]

Hi Dannii,

So sorry you are going through so much at work and you should not have to put up with it. For tribunal you need some form of witness if it is her emotionally harassing you or bullying you. Without a physical witness as far as my knowledge goes it can be troublesome.

Document incidents, time place and who was present in the room at the time whether something was said in jest or in seriousness.

CAB will be so much more informative.
There was a case I am aware of where the contract stated that if someone is off sick for more than 4 weeks then their employment will be terminated. So the lady thought nothing of it once her employment was terminated as per her contract once she was off sick for more than 4 weeks until her doctor told her the contract itself is illegal and she has a case for tribunal because they have discriminated against someone while sick - pending diagnosis and treatment. She was off on doctors orders. So even though you dont have a contract, you are still working for her and whether you are classed as freelancer or contractor/no contract - there are still some legalities each person has to follow here.

Make sure you are insured to work there - ie premises especially now that you are pregnant. Make sure someone has re-briefed you about Health and Safety once you have notified them you are pregnant. Cover your back before you uncover theirs

Good luck but whatever you do, keep your stress levels down.

 

[dannii87]

Oh you poor things ACTUALLY reading all that! lol

Thank you so much to all of you for your very helpful comments

I have an appointment with CAB next Thursday so am hoping they can help.

xxx

 

[bhe101]

Thats awful, I actually feel sick reading all that.
I dont know how youve managed to stick it out but well done for doing it for so long!
I dont have any advice, dont know about this sort of stuff but hope you manage to work something out!!

 

[Little miss pink]

Oh god Danni i don't know how you've coped with this.

I'm not really in a position to help or comment but i just wanted to send you these!

I hope it all gets sorted out and that you they somehow pay for what they have put you through!

Take Care

LMP x

 

[Sherlock]

O FWIW it might be best to ask a mod to move this thread to the Working During Pregnancy, Maternity pay, Benefits and Tax credits section as not everyone who might be able to offer advice looks in here.

 

[Penstraze]

How awful what you should do is go for one of these free consultations with a solicitor so they can give you advice and see if you have a case. From what I was told by someone I used to work with who took his last work to tribunal because he had asked for a contract and not been given one - which is illegal!!! he won the case instantly as without giving him a legal contract when requested they had left themselves without a leg to stand on, hopefully that is the case for you!

The only thing I would say be wary off is your collegues closing ranks and giving her witness statements denying these things happened which will make it your word against theirs and if all these problems have only been verbal and they have you collegues willing to lie for them they would be likely to be believed over you. In my last work there was a tribunal over bullying in the work place and all the staff left behind covered each other and won the case I wasn't there at the time so dont know facts but could imagine it could possibly have been bullying given the people involved and knowing how they could be with a grudge but with them all backing each other she didnt have a leg to stand on.

Im not trying to just look on bad side and upset you so I hope I havent done that just try and look at what may be in your favour and against it!

I hope you get all this sorted you dont need this right now!!!

 

[bowmanzoo]

Hey Hun

not sure what to say really but I do hope you sort it out. I know if I was in your shoes I would have walked out long ago and found another job. Nobody deserves to be treated like that, how humiliating.

 

[jue]

Poor you

Loads of good advice already given I just want to give you and wish you well x

 

[Hazel]

Sounds awful. I bet you're counting down the days until maternity leave. I'm no expert, you probably do have a case but what are you hoping the outcome to be? Will you want to return to work at the same place after maternity leave? These sorts of cases can drag on and cause a lot of stress. I don't want to sound negative as it's totally unfair how these people are treating you and they shouldn't be able to get away with it.
When I was going through fertility treament a few years ago I had a really nasty boss who wouldn't let me have time off for doctors appointments, I complained to the company nurse and my boss got a good talking to but she made my life hell until I handed my notice in and then she said she was going to sack me anyway I develpoed a very thick skin in that job.
All I'm saying is pick your battles as the end is in sight.

 

[bellybump]

i dont know what to say etc, i can offer hugs though that appaulng and made me feel sick to think you were being treated like that. Ive only know you a few weeks (if that) and already know you are way too much of a decent person to have all this shit going on in your life. you dont deserve this and i hope to god you get time off and manage to sort things before you go back. it's horrible and it's bullying. theres no need for it.

 

[ASD123456]

Hi,

Hust read that and I am shocked The was you have been treated is terrible.

I'm not in a position to comment on the legal side of things as i don't know anything abut it but I just wanted offer my support.

I hope all goes well with the docs and hopefully you'll be able to get a couple of weeks off. This stress is not good for you or the LO.

Alex xxx

 

[millylillyrose]

wow, you have a case!
and no one has a contract????? thats so not right! honestly, im so shocked by all of that. make sure you record everything including dates etc!

 

[handbagqueen]

Wow Danni, I'm so shocked that you have had to deal with all this. I'm so sorry I'm not able to offer any sort of advice but hope you can get this sorted soon as no-one deserves to be treated this way. Don't let them get away with it the b*****ds!

 

[glittergirl]

Dannii you poor thing. Its awful to work in an environment like that.

My previous job was in the same line of business you are in and i HATED it. The girls there were not very friendly either and i used to be in tears when i left. Funnily enough i never had a contract either and had to ask on a number of occasions but ended up leaving before i got one.

Def tell CAB everything, you really do have a case here. You are being bullied and its stressful enough without having the baby to think of too.

Hope you get sorted hun. Keep us posted

 

[Jollypops]

Oh Dannii i'm so sorry. Firstly i hope that the doctor can give you a breather from work and that you can get to have a little you time. I totally know where your coming from as i used to have a boss like yours which i worked for 9 years. Does she do this to anyone else? Would anyone else from work support/back up your case? Mental abuse is worse than anything else and i'm afraid also hard to prove which is problems i had. Also you've already been told make notes, times etc and when you have to go back maybe invest in a dictaphone! I did! then you get it all on tape! No getting it out of it then - If you do be really really careful.
Good Luck and loads of

PM me whenever you want.