Tying to get me down now :(

[LucyB.]

I had my baby 9 weeks ago and me and my boyfriend are really struggling to have sex. It always ends in me getting upset cos it's too painful. He's only ever managed to put his penis in me once and the other times it doesn't even get that far because I need to stop. The thing is its not even pain, I think it's more psycologocal cos of the discomfort I felt down there after birth. It's just whenever he goes near it I flinch, which makes it harder does anyone have any tips for me to overcome this? Cos I get so upset about it it makes him nervous to ever want to do it and I just feel really unattractive, embarrassed and frustrated please help!xxx

 

[LucyB.]

The name should be "starting" not tying lol x

 

[Belle23]

It wasn't comfortable the First time
But what we did was we had loadssssss of lube. And all very gentle movements. I think because I knew the lube makes everything easier I relaxed a bit xx

 

[Lolly85x]

Aw no over thinking things and worry will just make it worse as you will be tense.
Saying 'try not to think about it is easier said than done'
But maybe you should try have some fun with each other, that's not full sex and see what happens. A few glasses of wine and try relax!! Hard with a tiny baby I know.xxxx

 

[MrsT2011]

I know it's easier said than done but if you relax it may help. It is uncomfortable to first time but you'll enjoy it once things get going. Have you tried going on top so you have more control? X

 

[Happyred]

I had this problem when I had my first daughter and ended up getting drunk, which made me much more relaxed! Probably not the best advice ever but it worked for me! Once you get the first time over with its a whole lot easier!

 

[LucyB.]

I'm thinking of havin a drink next time to calm my nerves cos I just can't seem to relax! I tried going on top at first but it wasn't working so we decided to let him go on top so he could just push it in but that doesn't seem to be working either! I feel like everytime i suggest to do it he's dreading it cos he know how it will end, ATM it just feels like we'll never do it again xxxx

 

[Karate Kid]

We have not tried to DTD yet but I will probably have a few glasses of something or other and use loads of lube xx

 

[MrsT2011]

I'm thinking of havin a drink next time to calm my nerves cos I just can't seem to relax! I tried going on top at first but it wasn't working so we decided to let him go on top so he could just push it in but that doesn't seem to be working either! I feel like everytime i suggest to do it he's dreading it cos he know how it will end, ATM it just feels like we'll never do it again xxxx

Awww it will happen hun but you're putting a lot of pressure on yourself. Try going with the flow - have a few drinks and fun and see where it leads! X

 

[LucyB.]

Thanks girls! Hopefully it will happen soon and I will feel human again lol xxx

 

[mrz85]

it s scarey trying to dtd i have done it and its ok not to bad doesnt really hurt!!! hope next time u try will b a succses x

 

[FirstBabyEek]

I agree with the others, plenty of lube, it helped me. Each time you try does get easier but be gentle and don't expect too much of yourself xx

 

[Jayjay027]

We tried it 2wks ago and it was just way too painful. It ended with me crying and feeling useless/unsexy and I thought our sex life would never return to normal.
But we tried again on Monday with plenty of lube and slowly, and even though it was sore, it was bearable and actually quite nice to have that closeness again, and I'm glad I persevered.
It will be uncomfortable, but so is losing ur virginity, its the same principle, it'll get less painful and more enjoyable with each go.
Good luck x

Tapatalking from my blackberry!

 

[LucyB.]

Thank u girls, I just feel like he doesn't want to even try anymore I had a few drinks last night and he knew why but when I suggested it he said he was "tired" xxx