Ttc, not falling Nd the impact on one's mental health

[sandygems]

We started ttc last month which was sadly unsuccessful. I found this really difficult to find out even though I knew there was only a very slim chance we would conceive first month, I always secretly hoped we would be in that small majority. Please don't takr this tje wrong way, I'm really not trying to belittle the experiences and feelings of those who have been trying for some time to conceive, and of course there are others out there who have been through so much worse than not conceiving, but falling and then losing their precious angels too soon. But... What I'm wondering is, does it get easier every month when af arrives and takes all hope with it? Do u have any hints and tips or support on how to get through each month without feeling so sad, gutted, frustrated, hopeless, guilty, Jealousy of those who are pregnant or have families and generally feeling despondent? Af is an evil thing bringing with it not just the end of hope but also the usual hormones of pms interacting with those feelings of frustration of not falling.

 

[heyyJude82]

Hi there all the things you are feeling are unfortunately part of the package of TCCing in my opinion. It doesn't matter if you've been trying for 1 or 16 months (like me) you will get comfort from the ladies on hear because the thing is we all share the same disappointment AF comes on.
In terms of tips, or advise what I would say is try not to lose hope. It will happen for you. Also what's really helped me is being proactive and doing things that make me feel like I have some control back. For example I am eating a better diet, taking Pregnacare Comception Vitamins, also Angus Cactus, and I know everyone is different but I just couldn't get to grips with recording temperature everyday so getting a clear blue fertility monitor this month has made me feel the most hopeful in a long time.
So in short what I'm saying is keep trying, make good changes if you need to and get to know your cycle it will really help you feel like you are giving it 100% try.
Goodluck hun - I'm testing on 29th April so I will let you know if my pro-active steps have paid off this month resulting iny much longed for BFP!
X j

 

[JeezLouise]

Sorry you feel this way hun, I'm exactly the same on cycle 4. It doesn't get easier, in fact when AF came last cycle it was my worst reaction to date, but you've got to try and stay positive and keep going. On your down days all the words in the world won't make it any better, but the way I deal with it is by trying to see AF not as the enemy but as a fresh start - a brand new cycle, a brand new eggy and another chance to have you BFP.

Love and luck, Lou xx

 

[Kay Kay]

Hi sandygems Well, I'm on cycle 27 now and I have to say I have been thru every emotion that you described and more. I found it most difficult once we hit the one year mark as everyone kept saying it could take up to a year so as it neared I was panicking more and more. I then had a bit of a meltdown Dec 11, triggered by a friend of mine telling me she was pregnant and I knew she only came off the pill the month before. It honestly unleashed a rage and anger in me that was frightening. I did worry about my mental health! To be clear I wasn't angry at her. Just at my inability to get pregnant. I had a major case of the 'why me's'

Since then we have had all the tests and been told there is nothing wrong with either of us and I've calmed down slightly. Not to say I'm happy about it but I think I have finally started to accept that it may never happen for us. It's a grieving process I suppose and the only thing I would say is that you have to go through these emotions, there is no way to avoid them. This forum helps to get it all out. And choosing a few supportive friends to confide in will help as well.

I hope that you never have to go thru any of this, and remember the odds are on your side so don't lose hope so soon. Good luck xxxxxxx

 

[KanKan]

Hi Ladies, it really is freeking tough isn't it?!!!!

We haven't been trying that long (month 3 only) but like you Sandygem, I expected to get preggers straight away but alas that was not the case. So after month 2 I decided to take more control of the situation (as I am a complete control freak). I bought a bunch of OPK's (internet cheapies and good brand), bought a BBT and started charting and also taking more notice of CM. I have to say that Charting has made me realised that I OV later then I thought. There is a big misconception that you OV 14 days before AF due....I DON'T, mine is later about 11-12 days b4 AF. And of course the 1st 2 months we focused BD way too early and missed it. This month we BD at the correct time. MY BBT charts shows I am in my Luteal Phase so now it's just the terrible TWW period.

I feel the frustration ladies. Good Luck to you all xx

 

[Clairabella]

Hi,

The emotions that you are feeling are perfectly normal during TTC and it's a tough thing to go through. We have been trying since last October and I feel disappointed every time AF arrives. I use the CBFM, take my vits and have totally changed my diet so I know I'm giving it my best shot. I wouldn't say it gets easier but I try and be patient and keep busy to take my mind off TTC.
I also understand how you feel when friends announce their pregnancy I feel upset and jealous for a couple of hours which is followed by guilt for feeling jealous.... Then I'm generally ok about it ha ha... I've had about 10 family / friends/ work colleagues tell me their pregnant since we TTC.
I would recommend the CBFMs as they take the stress out of wondering when you are going to OV.
I really hope you get a positive soon I'll be keeping an eye on your posts xxxxxxx

 

[sandygems]

Thanks ladies, I think from all these comments it's pretty clear we are all feeling pretty much the same as each other!

Kankan that's really good advice about opks I too am a bit of a control freak, iv already changed my diet, taking the right vitamins and reading up on everything I can! I think opks might just help me to feel a bit more in control.

Clairabella what are cbfm???

I think one I. The hardest aspects of ttc is not being able to talk to my close friends about it, my oh and I agreed to keep it quiet until we manage to get pregnant, so u ladies are an invaluable source f support and comfort, thank you so much x

Love and babydust to all xx

 

[H_Savage]

Hey, I just wanted to echo what everyone else has said. Relatively speaking, it's early days (this will be our fourth cycle) but I really did think I'd come off the pill and immediately get pregnant. I'm trying to keep it all in proportion, but this month I really thought I was, so when AF arrived I was really upset. This forum is great though, there's a lot of support and advice.

 

[Clairabella]

Thanks ladies, I think from all these comments it's pretty clear we are all feeling pretty much the same as each other!

Kankan that's really good advice about opks I too am a bit of a control freak, iv already changed my diet, taking the right vitamins and reading up on everything I can! I think opks might just help me to feel a bit more in control.

Clairabella what are cbfm???

I think one I. The hardest aspects of ttc is not being able to talk to my close friends about it, my oh and I agreed to keep it quiet until we manage to get pregnant, so u ladies are an invaluable source f support and comfort, thank you so much x

Love and babydust to all xx

Clear blue fertility monitor. It's a little machine that you use to see which days during your month you are the most fertile. It tests your urine and then gives you unto 6 days per month when you are most fertile. Xxxx