TTC changed me

[Maximus17]

hiya
I just wanted to ask you all how TTC affected your mood. Every month it's BFN, I am angry, moody and just hate everyone. My hormones hit the roof now, my DH made a comment how it's affecting him as I am always angry and he is getting a bit fed up. Anyone experiencing this?

 

[millielaura]

Yeah I feel the same xxx

 

[Maximus17]

It's affecting our marriage more and more, my DH made a comment this morning saying if I get pregnant with second and I am still moody like this he doesn't think we could stay together, I cried and cried, it made me even more upset, I think it was a very unfair comment, or am I over reacting again?

 

[liz85]

My first year was he worst. I cried everymonth felt depressed always getting angry. The whole thing was putting a strain not only on me but my other half. My turning point was when someone had said to me at xmas time how did you feel your last year went. I said awful. When I looked back I realised ttc was consuming me. I was missing out on speacial moments with friends and family . Weddings, birthdays job promotions. All I was doing was going through each month cycle by cycle and not really enjoying life? I’m still in the same position nearly 30 something cycles later but I try to enjoy myself as much as I can. It’s not easy x

 

[MoominGirl]

I was similar to Liz but it was the 2nd year that was the worst for me. 1st year I was enthusiastic and actually believed this would happen. 2nd year our troubles became very real. 3rd year (now) there's a lot more acceptance of our situation and how crap it is. Yes there are still wobbles but I'm slowly feeling more like myself again. Yes it's tough but I'm trying hard to find some perspective and focus on us. Making a point of booking things to look forward to and enjoy life together. It's not easy but it's not worth being consumed by the whole thing and it's so easy to find yourself there without realising it.

 

[Poppy_12]

Didn’t want to read and run. Totally understandable to have all of these emotions - it really is something that consumes you quite quickly. I think Liz and Moomin’s posts are really good advice here. Lots of well wishes ladies. X

 

[liz85]

Thank you xxx

 

[oneplusone]

hiya
I just wanted to ask you all how TTC affected your mood. Every month it's BFN, I am angry, moody and just hate everyone. My hormones hit the roof now, my DH made a comment how it's affecting him as I am always angry and he is getting a bit fed up. Anyone experiencing this?

Yes, I'm becoming a complete bitch for a week each month In the moment I do realise how I'm feeling and my poor boyfriend is having to put with it.

Onto month 4 now not sure I can take much more

 

[Pinkz]

Yep I hate every pregnant person. I hate March because that would have been my due date. I hate my period. I hate DTD when I'm ovulating. I hate having that glimmer of hope every month and I hate my body for failing me.

This all coming from a woman who about 5 years ago wasn't fussed about having kids. Now I sit crying feeling like some kind of failure for not allowing DH to be the most amazing father I know he can be. He's absolute dad goals... depressing

 

[MoominGirl]

Yep I hate every pregnant person. I hate March because that would have been my due date. I hate my period. I hate DTD when I'm ovulating. I hate having that glimmer of hope every month and I hate my body for failing me.

This all coming from a woman who about 5 years ago wasn't fussed about having kids. Now I sit crying feeling like some kind of failure for not allowing DH to be the most amazing father I know he can be. He's absolute dad goals... depressing

It's worrying how much I've changed over time. 5 years ago I also wasn't worried about these things then suddenly I felt like I was defined by it. I think I'm tougher for it but I really want to work on getting my spark back. I miss not being aware of these things month after month.
Sending hugs.

 

[LauraTorrance]

It's affecting our marriage more and more, my DH made a comment this morning saying if I get pregnant with second and I am still moody like this he doesn't think we could stay together, I cried and cried, it made me even more upset, I think it was a very unfair comment, or am I over reacting again?

I'm so sorry Maximus. I think that comment is unfair.
He does understand that when you get pregnant your hormones will be all over the shop!!?
And comments like that are not helpful.

Have you spoken to him about this since?

 

[Pinkz]

I don't think men get it. The whole issue of fertility is so black and white to them. For a woman it's not only all the feelings but the hormones. I hope he doesn't mean it. I know my DH has said some pretty inconsiderate things in the past. He felt like the miscarriage was an equal blow for both of us, never acknowledged I was the one miscarrying, in pain, scared, back and forward to hospital for internal scans and blood tests. It's a completely different thing.

 

[MoominGirl]

There was a turning point for me and my OH where we actually had that conversation where I basically said I know you don't get it and that's OK but you just need to know that it's different for me and let me rant and rave when it's tough lol. I think it was the first time I actually acknowledged out loud that I knew he didn't get it and that he actually admitted it. Now if he sticks his foot in it (of course he still does!!), I just tell him instead of going off on a rampage. He's always tried to be so supportive and he does an amazing job but I think he felt like he was letting me down because he doesn't always understand.

 

[Wilson14]

Moonmin Girl and Pinkz, me too just 2-3 years ago I wasn't interested in having kids and I feel like now I'm being punished for it.xx